I miss him less.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I miss him less.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Exactly. Basically, it says that the world has been broken into pieces. All this chaos, all this discord. And our job - everyone’s job - is to try to put the pieces back together. To make things whole again.”
And you believe that?”
I guess I do. I mean, I don’t know how the world broke. And I don’t know if there’s a God who can help us fix it. But the fact that the world is broken - I absolutely believe that. Just look around us. Every minute - every single second - there are a million things you could be thinking about. A million things you could be worrying about. Our world - don’t you feel we’re becoming more and more fragmented? I used to think that when I got older, the world would make so much more sense. But you know what? The older I get, the more confusing it is to me. The more complicated it is. Harder. You’d think we’d be getting better at it. But there’s just more and more chaos. The pieces - they’re everywhere. And nobody knows what to do about it. I find myself grasping, Nick. You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not only because it’s right, but because it will mean that such a thing is still possible? I want to believe in that.”
Do you really think it’s getting worse? I mean, aren’t we better off than we were twenty years ago? Or a hundred?”
We’re better off. But I don’t know if the world’s better off. I don’t know if the two are the same thing.”
I said, ‘You’re right.’”
But nobody ever says, ‘You’re right.’ Just like that.”
…Then it hits me.
Maybe we’re the pieces,”
Maybe that’s it. With what you were talking about before. The world being broken. Maybe it isn’t that we’re supposed to find the pieces and put them back together. Maybe we’re the pieces. Maybe, what we’re supposed to do is come together. That’s how we stop the breaking.”
— David Levithan (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist)
If there is that one moment in my life, or maybe uncountable moments, that I ever felt anything less worthy of God or myself (in which of course I always do in teeming times), I guess I just need to suck in my utter stupidity and utmost foolishness and just begin to believe in that slightest hope of me being on earth does make a difference in the eyes of God... and you know what, by solely believing in that alone, it does make my puzzle piece connects to others' pieces and somehow complete this fool's flustering thoughts. :)
I'm leaving to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow morning and I wonder if my presence in Miri for the past few days make a difference in somebody's life. One thing for sure, all the conversation I had these couple weeks made me learn a lot more about myself than before... There goes all the puzzle pieces huh. :)
It's pitter-patterly raining outside... I'm still yet awake. to see another new adventure evolves itself in the daylight to come and the days to arrive...
I just hope I'll make it to Melaka for Christmas this year. God, I'm poor. I don't have anyone to celebrate my 2010 Christmas with this year if I don't make it for Melaka. :) Rejoice. what a hard word to swallow in right now.
Rejoice and the whole world rejoice with you.
Lord, I don't want huge presents but I just want enough cash to carry me until next year. Sigh. Is there anyone wanna bank in some money for me? LOL. I WISH.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Yesterday I learnt a new song "Sanctuary (Lord Prepare Me)". :) I tried playing the melody part but mind you, susah wei!!! it took me an hour just to get a hang of both the melody and not melody part! heh. initially i thought it was a bad idea playing a new song but heck, it was addictive. I'll try to play a song daily, IF i have a piano wherever I am anyway. :) I'll try to work that one out. :)
I'm happy! hahahaha..
I love the piano! :)
Piano makes people happy.
I'm gonna treat my parents lunch today. I've gotten my Sushi King pay a week ago, might as well I bless them with a meal. Hahahahahha. *budak soleha ba kononnya* hahahahhahaah..
Today, I wanna learn "This is my desire". :)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
You seem like taking my treatments for granted. I used to take everything else for granted, not you though, but it all came back to me when u treat me as how I treated the rest. I will always care for you..
You seem happy. content. better word, surprisingly moved on. I never knew it's easy for you. I never knew you won't fight back. I never knew you just let go easily. Pretty much like another you. I was hoping that along this road, you'll drop by to say hie, but ah well, the sower has to reap her own fruit huh. I'll always miss you la.
For me, I'm content that I'm with my own shadow. But yea, it just suck to have you on my mind and I can't do nothing about. sigh. sleepy now. nite.
REGISTRATION OF NEW STUDENTS : 04/09/2011 (Sunday)
(LOCAL & INTERNATIONAL)
REGISTRATION OF NEW STUDENTS : 06/09/2011 (Tuesday)
LECTURES : 12/09/2011 - 06/11/2011 8 weeks (Monday) (Sunday)
BREAK : 07/11/2011 - 13/11/2011 1 week (Monday) (Sunday)
LECTURES : 14/11/2011 - 25/12/2011 6 weeks (Monday) (Sunday)
REVISION PERIOD : 26/12/2011 - 28/12/2011 3 days (Monday) (Wednesday)
EXAMINATION PERIOD: 29/12/2011 - 15/01/2012 2 weeks 4 days (Thursday) (Sunday)
INTER SEM. VACATION: 16/01/2012 - 06/02/2012 3 weeks 1 day (Monday) (Monday)
- ‘Eid Ul-Fitr 30 - 31 August 2011 Tuesday - Wednesday
- National Day 31 August 2011 Wednesday
- Malaysia Day 16 September 2011 Friday
- Sultan of Pahang’s Birthday 24 October 2011 Monday
- Deepavali 26 October 2011 Wednesday
- ‘Eid Ul-Adha 6 – 7 November 2011 Sunday – Monday
- 1 Muharram 27 November 2011 Sunday
- Sultan Selangor’s Birthday 11 December 2011 Sunday
- Christmas Day 25 December 2011 Sunday
- New Year 1 January 2012 Sunday
- Chinese New Year 23 – 24 January 2012 Monday - Tuesday
- Maulidur Rasul 5 February 2012 Sunday
School Holidays 19 Nov 2011 - 1 Jan 2012 Saturday – Sunday
Honestly... I hate the new calendar. The thought of NO FREAKING CHRISTMAS is NOT FAIR. I do love the thought of attracting international students but what the heck, no Christmas, No New Year!!!!!! Sighhhhhhhh... What say you?
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
E: Tauke, mau setengah ayam.
Tauke: Okey. *pass chicken to the butcher*
Me: Ask her if the chicken is a female or not.
E: HAHAHAHAHAHAH. *trying hard to look serious* erm tauke, itu ayam betina ka?
Tauke: Ha? *surprised*
E: Itu ayam betina ka? *act innocent*
Tauke: *asks the sister in chinese* eh, the chicken is a male or female?
Tauke sis: *turns the chicken around, looks at the butt* female.
Tauke: betina la. Kenapa?
E: tada papa.. tanya saja. *Holding the breath of laughter in*
Me: *laugh nonstop* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Funny wei. You should have seen the lady's face when we asked that question. Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahah
Me: ...That would be pretty amazing!
Miss C: I know! I'm pretty and amazing!
Me: Hahaahahaha.. Imagine if there's a guy somewhere, and we go up to him and say that "I'm pretty. You're hot. so, that makes us pretty hot eh?"
Miss C: Pretty *point to self*. Hot *right eyebrow rises whilst looking at the guy*. Pretty hot!
on the 13th of Dec, I finally, yes, FINALLY, played the piano with proper guidance and keys or notes! Hahahahaha. For the first time in my life, I played 2 songs with a piano!!!!! hahahahaahahaha. I never even know the notes of the piano thingy in the first place, what more to say playing them. LOL. INTERESTING MUCH WEIIIII.. i REALLY thank God for that! I never knew playing a musical instrument can be EXTREMELY awesome! Imagine the songs one can produce with the knowledge of playing the musical instruments! mannnnn.. I should have learnt the piano when I was a kid!!!!!! ggaaaahhhhhh... I never knew playing the piano is really really awesome! It was hard but I find that great joy from within, just by playing the piano!
Thank you God for the desire to play for You. Thank you God for having Rivka teaching me how to play the piano today! :D Thank you God for being really really really creative! Lord, can I have the gift of playing musical instruments for You? I'd like to bless people around me with it. :) In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Ah yes, I played "Till I see You" and "My Redeemer Lives"
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Mr A: I'll pick you up at the Kajang KTM bus stop.
Me: Oh.. The one next to the roadside? hrmmm... But come to think of it, aren't all bus stops are next to the road side?
Mr A: AMAZING. You are amazingly smart.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
My dream Guy
cute and cuddly.
told you its lame. I'm emotionless. I fear commitment so don't ever speak about me getting into a relationship anytime soon. I wonder why I even was in 2 before. Stupid child. Coz it's for smart people. Hahaahahahahah.. I fear falling in and out of love too. I miss him badly but I don't need any male supporters. right. I just want attention and it can be solved easily. right. The end. I just realized this thing won't cut out for me. uhuh. I'm just being emotional now. mehhhhhh...
Told you this post is lame.
after last summer
when we broke up
I havent seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by
I still got a piece of you under my skin
Its always there no matter where Ive been
So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start
I wish you luck
And I wish it true
Thats the best
I can do for you
Cuz youll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah its hard to do
So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know itll cut me like a knife
So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start
For some reason, this song really hits me. I'm still learning to let time passes by rather fast and learn to not remember although you're still in the head. ALL THE TIME. So yeah, perfect song for now.
"Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start"
- David Choi
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Being asked to love the country is good but being lead by a crappy leader is another.
Being asked to develop our minds and thinking is great but being constraint under ridiculous contradicting laws is another.
Being asked to be in a political party is good too but being backstabbed by fellow power-greed seniors is another.
Being asked to vote is a great one but being paid RM10-RM30 for a vote is another.
Being asked to make a change in Malaysia is the best one can think of but not having the voice be heard is another.
Ready to be changed?
As I went online on my mobile to check on my emails, this stumbled on the screen. Honestly, if you ask me, I find some Malaysian "leaders" are rather childish and sensitive bunch of old people. Sorry to say lah. Truthfully, why are you so scared and be SO SO hurt from people's comments and remarks about yourself? You know yourself and you don't have to ban a social network over somebody's cruel remarks about you. Be humble lah. I find it rather stupid for leaders to have a sense of insecurity when God already place you in that position to guide all sort people with vast kind of funny characters! Does it ever occur to you when you lead, you WILL lead people of different walks of life and with different point of view? How on bloody earth did you get up there in the ruling platform without knowing and accepting the fact that there WILL be consequences of being mock in the future time? Hello, a Malaysian leader should first understand there ARE MILLIONS of citizens which (sorry to make you realize now), apparently are beautifully made and wonderfully made by God of WHICH everyone is UNIQUE, WHICH you should (by now) ACCEPT the fact that PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT BRAINS, DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES and VIEWS OF LIFE. These old folks SERIOUSLY need a time off la... Time off to sit down and watch Simpsons, South Park, Power Rangers, go to a jazz lounge and just take your "superior" neon bulb which is planted on your forehead, off your head! Understand the people. Sit with them. Talk to them. That is why teachers, church ministers, Buddhist gurus, Hindu teachers and Imam have MORE followers than the politic leaders! Oh but of course, you may not know this fact because you are so caught up in yourself that you get VERY hurt from comments. Please la, if a 14 year-old kid can get over somebody calling her fat-ugly-loner-pighead-big bumps-acne girl on Facebook after a short period and WITHOUT TELLING THE MINISTRY TO BAN THE NETWORK, why can't you let go since being old, I ought to believe that you tasted MORE salt-sugar-spices-pepper than us kids?
Come to think of it, did Muhammad quarrel back when people segregate him for being right? Did Prophet Isa Al-Masih ever in His life deny Himself and hate people when everybody else stoned-whipped-hanged him for being true? Did these people ever get OH-SO-OFFENDED by our actions? No! Instead, they were sadden! You know the drill, I don't have to explain more. But at the end of the day, don't fight with stupidity with even more stupidity, that just proves you're not so much of a leader anyway.
If, by any of these comments are very STILL unacceptable by you leaders, I don't know what will happen to Malaysia. Ban this and that over comments. No wonder we are still in the mind of a third-world country. You just officially make your ever-bright citizens to be stupid not think for themselves. Congratulation.
Dear Lord, I know this sounds rather ridiculous but I'd like to ride in a personal jet plane at least once in my life. I want to know how does it feel like to be in one of them... :D Can? oh, First Class seating as well. Can ka? Can ka? :) This is the tiny dream of a young poor girl. If I don't have any of these chances, it's okay though. At least a girl can dream right? :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
RISK IT. U-TURN!
Initially I went with a heavy hardened heart, thinking that it would be just another camp but of course, I went with a heart that longs for rest and a heart that wants to listen. The good news, physical wise, not so much of rest, but spiritually wise, I'm VERY at rest! :) And yes, I listened and I grasped the gist of everything! I know He spoke in my heart in the littlest way that He knows I will respond to. :) thank You Lord. :) I had the best retreat ever! God is awesome and so surreal! gahh.. I'm in love and refreshed!
I made my fair share of mistakes over the past few days, weeks and months. I know I've caused many to question my intentions, my trust and my way of living, which are unrighteous. I fall badly and I get hurt. I'm always delusional and uncertain. I'm always indecisive and consequences suck big time. I know I suck pretty much in every way but one thing that I believe strongly, He changes me through the failures. He made sure I go through all the delusional decisions and actions just to prepare me for His glory. He made sure I HAVE to got through all those with Him! Funny God I'm having huh? Very fun and loving Father whom never leave. :) He's to me, the best father, the best friend and the ever faithful and loving God.. :)
- Trust Him although you are heart-hardened.
- Believe in His Spirit that He'll change your heart.
- Why settle to be God's second best
- Let go of something you love for Him and believe Him. He'll carry you through it.
- Seek His heart and I'll grow.
- Most importantly, be still and rest in His arms. :)
Thank You Daddy.
ohhh! at the end of the conference, I learnt:
I'm just foolish young girl who is in the process of becoming the great woman He wanted me to be!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I cried and i slept. So now, i find being sad and sorry for letting go is nonsense already. I give up feeling sorry.
I'll move on. Today, thank you for everything, Lord. :)
"dont you know you're beautiful?"
I'm no perfect reference anymore..
I'm good at spoiling friendships aren't i?
I hope you're happy.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I find Indonesians have better hospitality than Malaysians.
"Joy, do you trust Me?"
"If you do, I'll make things beautiful"
"Joy, it's okay. Trust Me"
God, i'm THAT sad but i've been in this position before, therefore I'll work out n build up my character with Your guidance, once again. In Jesus most precious name, amen. :')
I'm sorry, I just had to let it go and trust Him. :'(
Sunday, November 7, 2010
today, i learnt one thing about family love through a conversation with a friend of mine.
sometimes, when your friend or stranger is close to your family, i think we shouldn't feel so bad about it. instead, give thanks to God for opening up a way in the heart for that friend of yours to have hope in the future (who knows he/she has a bad family background or has trust issues) or to even love again in the future, through the love that is shown by your family now. You'll not only have new family members, you have more stories to share and God will surely bless all that relationships formed! He always fill the children' cups until they overflow... so why don't you give some to those who are empty or half empty? :)
who knows, that's the only chance for them to feel something again. we just need to lend our home and know that God places that stranger there for growth purposes. We just need to give unconditional love and let God do the rest. Isn't that what Christian Love is all about? :)
~ Uncle Lewis, Aunty Flora, Celine, Nicholas, Adeline ~
Note to the Lims:
If you guys weren't patient enough with me in 2006, I doubt that I'll find the word "family" in my life dictionary ever again. But I thank God that I was thick-face enough and you were brave enough to take me in. HAHAHA. I thank God for every moment that He has blessed me with through your family. :) I love all of you! XOXOXOXOXO! An XO for each members! hahaha
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I ask that You speak to him through his discovery to You.
In Jesus name i pray,
I guess some parents are too caught up with so many works until they hear what the kids are saying on their mouth yet never listen enough to know their heart. Please, I'm being subjective here, I'm not in a place to judge cause I have no kids, that's true. No kids so you think that I won't understand the difference. heh. Nonetheless, I find some parents are just too clouded with gloomy days that when kids say some things, they never really think it through. To them, it's not a problem.
Dear parents out there,
that's all about it,
from a heart of a brokenhearted daughter.
a guy of good heart but sometimes they don't see it.
a guy that works for the joy of it but they see pass it.
a guy that loves from within but only some see it.
a guy that wants attention but only some give it.
a guy that loves the family but too many dramas swallowing it.
a guy that enjoy building things but lack of supports discourage it.
a guy that speaks with softness and calmness somehow too many circumstances challenges it.
a guy of kind heart but most of the time, people take it over.
a guy of a crazily fun mind but situations never allow it.
a guy in an imperfect family, makes him the man that he is today.
I love you Miah!
I thank you for being ever so caring and so hardworking all these while... I'm proud to have you as a brother cause you are a blessing from God to me!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Now I know the reason for all the emotional things for the past 3 days or so. My period is back!!!!!!
THANK YOU GOD!
I tell you ah.... Damn my period. I have raging hormones going on today. From really annoyed to super happy to extremely sad then Super needy pulak. hahahahahahahahaahahahaahah
Dear Cedric, Su-Jian, Greg, Luke and Qila, I'm sorry for all the sudden changes going on today. lolllll... I hope you had fun experiencing the all main emotions of Joy's in a day, especially Qila. She literally heard me screamed, laughed, saddens and angry in a 40mins trip back and forth to Midvally today. hahaahahahahahahahahahahaah.. I LOVE IT TODAY!
PS: I HAD A HIGHSCORE OF 114260 OF BEJEWELED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WUHOOOOO!!!!!!!
but i feel like i need a pat on the head for a long time......
where is varreni when u need her?????
ren, you owe me a pat.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I wanna go back home. But I cant. dad says he dont wanna waste money.
I AM EFFFINNNNNGGGGG SAD.
I made my friend angry.
I cant help my friends with their quarrel.
I hate seeing them quarrel.
I dislike being in UKM nowadays.
I wanna go to the beach.
I despise everything foolish about me.
I find that I'm far from a wise person.
I love him. But i'm being unfair.
I miss him. But I miss you.
I miss her. and I miss you.
When will i go back.
Let me give you my schedule.
Last paper of exam: 10 Nov.
Jakarta trip: 12-24th.
National Conference: 29th -4Dec.
College Dinner-Family day Preparation Camp: 13th-19thdec.
Semester reopens 19th Dec until End of April 2011.
when will my period comes? stupid cycle.
I miss my roommate. yes.
Business and Entrepreneurship courses are never my strength.
I pray that the stupid faculty can stop shoving us as guinea pigs when it comes to introduction of new courses.
If my cgpa dropped, I swear I'll cry.
STUPID FACULTY. %#$%$^!!#%$^(#%*
sigh. even my schools allowed me to drop this freaking subject when I was form 5. BUT noooooo, not the stupid faculty that go and make this stupid subject (for me la. not to those business minded out there. no pun intended.) freaking compulsory! #$^@#$#%$@#!^(^"^*%(#$@$@!
I wanna cry.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
A friend of mine asked what should he give for his friend's wedding. So our texting conversation goes:
A: Eh, Miss X is getting married soon. Any idea on what should I give?
Me: Wedding ah? Money. So that she can use it to pay for her wedding.. Hahahaha..
It's not cheap, you know..
A: Maybe Umbrella, the line will be "may the both of you walk through all the weather under the same umbrella." :)
Me: Umbrella ah? Might as well you get them a pair of chickens!
A: Lol. I will give them an umbrella.
Me: ah.. I still prefer a pair of chickens. The line is "may they reproduce and have beautiful edible babies like a newlywed like you!"
A: What?! .....
After dinner, I went into a crazier mode
Me: Oh, why don't you give them a pair of cicak?? It's free! and this time, the line is *thinking* "2 is better than 1"
A: Ok, that sounds like a workable idea. ...
I hope you enjoy yourself reading this.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A. I miss talking to them.
B. They just don't talk anymore.
C. They are just busy.
D. If they are not busy, they just don't tell you that they are there where they are there.
E. I just feel sad.
G. I miss them. that's all.
whatever la. just call when you feel like it. I give up asking where are you guys and hoping to meet up.
have a great life.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
APPARENTLY, my friend didn't pass the gifts that are meant for the sister!! :( Sigh. patience. patience. iNSTEAD, the gifts are left in the friend's car and I doubt that the friend knows the emotional value I have on those gifts. :(
Friday, October 8, 2010
Mine, would be, full of warmth and joy. The extremity of it all.
I'd like you to come to my kind of heaven,
but only if you allow yourself to step in. :)
come, join me. that's the biggest trust you can possibly have in me.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Author's Feather by Joy Gracia Liso
paper roses, pink and red
may I want a yellow instead
songs of joy for thy songs of love, grace and faith
seemingly parted by earthly death
return, my love
for many demands of roaring tides to subside
once died, then no more
but tales of us an opportune life
no tides or demands shall part us both,
cause life inscribed by the author's feather
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
but in churc today, YB Hannah said
"I knew I was called to preached when I became His child. God will fulfill the dreams He put in your heart, so keep holding on. Here I am, preaching in schools, churches, marketplaces as a politician. So just keep your calling deep inside because it will come to pass. "
really crazy la kan, for dreaming for something big. heh.
BUT ofcoz, she said "obedience and faith are needed in the process. you just need to work with Him in order for His work to really come to pass"
then her husband, Pr Ram, prayed over the church and he said
"...... you will stand and overlook the cities and know that God place you there to make a change....."
of all the things he said, this spoke strongly in my heart. until now. hrmm.
k la. i'm rambling. die.
U SEE! a girl like me, who rambles over things, who is indecisive, APPARENTLY has this crazy dream. LOL. k la. bye. HAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA
"NAIB JOHAN JATUH KEPADA AHMAD FIRDAUS DARI KOLEJ TUN HUSSEIN ON!"
It got me thinking for a moment and all I can answer him is that
"Well, for me, I'd try my best to learn the basic of a particular
skills and then use these to train a new batch of people. I just want
to set a platform for others to start from or step on and yea, let they themselves
grow from there. You guys don't see the possibilities in yourself so I just get it out from you and ya lor. See how far have you gone now? from debate to this. like that la.. Apparently, it just happened that I have sufficient knowledge on a particular subject and that's enough to bring you guys far. That's why I never really settle for debate... That's all. "
His grace is sufficient for all huh. :) kinda surprising to see how God places me to do new things or try some new stuffs, and in return I'm able to bless someone with the things I learnt and in return, it brings glory to Him. hehehee.. THANK YOU LORD! Truthfully, bringing out the best out of a person's full potential is just as fun as riding a rollercoaster la.. :) Mat is going for National Public Speaking Competition in Kuatan Pahang today (REPRESENTING UKM!!!!!!!!) and interesting enough, we only practice 1 round last night. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. I have no bloody idea how to train him but I only tell what I know best --> Style of speaking, manner of speaking and content arrangements. I'm praying that Jesus will carry him through the competition! Hey kid! Don't fear for I'm praying for ya! HUGS!!!!!
THANK YOU LORD.
THANK YOU LORD!
I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marvelling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make you mine
You are the one I want, you are the one I want
I've been thinking of changing my mind
It never stays the same for long
But of all the things I know for sure
You're the only certain one
You are the one I want, you are the one I want
I've been counting up all my wrongs
One sorry for each star
See I'd apologise my way to you
If the heavens stretched that far
You are the one I want, you are the one I want
I won't find what I am looking for
If I only "see" by keeping score
'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic
'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the one
When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung your song
You'll still be the one I want
Friday, October 1, 2010
to those who are around me, feeling the ups and downs, you guys are better than this. Jesus was never different when he treats the pharisees or the adulterers. He knows all things yet he chose to befriend them. Follow LOVE, then you won't hurt anyone throughout the journey. Believe me when I said that, cause the only one you'll hurt is your own pride and ego.
Father No. 2.
Mr. Lim. Lewis Lim.
Character 101: Penangite-Mirian. super caring, street smart, ex-chef, very sensitive, funny, AWESOME cook, love to cook, sweet, determined-minded, serious in work, better joker than Dad no.1 hahaahha, really grand-fatherly type, oh, father of 3.
Father No. 3
Introducing Mr Loh. Mr Loh Seng Huat. Lau Ba Loh! hahhahaahah
Characteristic 101: Johorian, VERY VERY funny, love to eat, super humble, caring, determine-minded, street smart, politician-to-be, fatherly character, serious in work, leader type. A REAL JOKER. Father of 5.
To be honest, when people ask me why won't I go back to Miri during holiday coz it's HOME, I just say "I have tons of families here in semenanjung.. Here's my home too.. So what's so bad about it?" :)
God places people and friends in your family, so work yourself up from there la. Make them your family cause they are put in your life for a reason. :) You won't lose a thing! You have food, shelter and support! :O
I'm blessed to have each one of them in my life. If you look back, they have some common grounds. I guess I'll settle down with a man of these kind one day. and yes, I doubt that my surname will ever change to non-L letter word. LOLLL.. *hint hint* hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Miss Joy Liso-Lim-Loh.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Punya la me ni mengada like anything n attention-seeker type. So sad wei.
I wonder why la I end up with a guy who is the opposite of me????!! ahahahahaahahahahah..
partly tension, partly awesome. LOL. seriously!
tension much when I don't get the stupid attention that I wanted. partly awesome is when I get attention when I dont need them and when I learn to be less dependent on people. HAHAAHAHAHAHA..
kesusahan itu sebahagian dari kehidupan.
calie ba saya ni.
Love is a battlefield.
Going to train 'em now.
My college's junior whom I prefer calling them Friends.
They are awesome bunch of people, if u ask me.
I thank God for every moment that I'm with them.
God never fails to amaze me with the new skills they are making or ME having.
i learnt patience, tons of wisdom and grace.
I polish up my counseling skills, time management, teaching skills and lame-ness skills.
but most of all, I learn to grow every time that they are around.
On the 2nd and 3rd, Mat is going to represent the college and UKM for a Public Speaking Competition. *sikit lagi mau tulis pubic speaking.. ahahhahahahaahahahahahaha * honestly, I have no idea on how to train people for public speaking. He'll be my first guinea pig. XD But like I said earlier on, I learn rite? yes, this is a learning process. I'm TRYING my best on not to be blind and guide the blind. LOL.
Do pray that I'll manage him well. :)
Another competition is on the 9th of Oct.. Mat, Wai Wai and Chong Yen are competing in KTDI. I'm not sure AGAIN on how to train them. LOL.
Hear my prayer... Send me help from everywhere to teach me to train my friends on how to give a good show on the competitions... I'm new in this whole thing. I know I did compete twice in primary school and ALL i could remember was the style that I was taught on. Why does only that side of memory comes up? why? Teach me oh Lord on how to do this. I commit all these 3 competitions unto your hands, I ask that You guide me through that I may be able to train them according to Your Will. Give me the sufficient help to build them up according to Your ways. I ask that through these competitions, I may be able to bring You Glory. I'm not doing this for my own name, but for Your glory. I'm poor in mind and skills but You are rich enough to carry my friends and I far in the competition. Thank You Lord for the opportunities given to build our character. Thank You for the joy and fun moments, the stress times too. LOL. Thank You Lord, In Jesus' name, amen.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Dear Uncle Hajok, you've been lovely and a great blessing to many.
I miss you. I'm sad. I dono why are you so dear to me. but I thank God for that. :)
*been emotional the whole day. i miss my friends -- Sek kuan, Liza, Varreni, Michelle, Livan and Sherlyn dearly.*
Monday, September 20, 2010
I prayed for a car,
Caroline Lee can be my witness.
I told her about my thoughts.
I told her my worries and my excitement.
worries in term of finance-more responsibilities.
excitement in giving more blessings for others.
I finally got it.
and I'm scared. LOL.
and I'm glad.
Dear Lord, thank You for the blessings, thank You for the car, thank You for the trust that You put in my hand now. But Lord, I commit this car unto Your hands. I pray that it'll be a blessing to You and Your ministries. I don't want it to be a reason of irresponsibility and I want to grow even closer to You with the presence of this car. Let it be a vessel of blessings. Carry me throughout the whole usage Lord. I know not how to handle a car but You do, teach me via friends. Give me wisdom. Give me grace, humility, love and a servanthood heart as I have this car. I surrender each part of this car unto Your hands. Use it Lord for Your glory. :) In Jesus' name, amen. :)
Ps: This car is not my car but it has the same design, colour and uh, my rims are silver and red, instead of pink? LOL. I love my new baby. :)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Okay, I feel envious of those that are able to go overseas and study!!!!!
LOL. the fact that they are able to go venture around new places, see new faces, do new things, have different study style, and may even experience new things like snow etc etc, makes me a lil green on the eyes. LOL. SIGH. why can't I be sponsored by any institute or relatives like any of my friends?
Reasons? glad enough to entertain you...
#1 I'm not that smart to get straight As or near straight As to get sponsored by any institutes.
#2 the fact that i'm from an average family, I can't afford expensive universities internationally.
#3 the fact that i'm a mediocre in my studies or social life, I think i suit better in Malaysia cause of the lifestyle. sigh.
hahahahahahaahahahaha. *gila mode*
Kesian kan me? stuck here. they say the other side is greener than our side. or some sort like that. I think it's somewhat true in some sense la. Better quality in service, tougher exams, higher quality of exam level, good food etc etc... SIGH. I feel like complaining why i'm still stuck here. WHY. hahahahahahaa.. Yes, remind me of the 3 reasons again. xP
*ranting mode ends*
Well, aside from the top 3 reasons, I think I know why I'm still back in Malaysia. :) God knows my character more than I. I know deep down I'll still have a huge spot of my country home in my heart. I know I'll miss malaysia a few months after being in such a super nicer way cooler country. I still remember when I was in Sydney for near 2 months, I was slightly bored coz there's no friends around, no friendly faces, tight on budget etc etc. I love the whole atmosphere but I sense of no homey-lovey thingling thing in my heart. heh. :) I'd love vacations overseas but anything longer than 2 weeks, I'll think about it? LOL. Yea, I love Malaysia. No matter how terrible it is in corruptions, how slow are the services, how terrible is the service but my families of hundreds and friends that are uncountable and the future that I'm longing for for Malaysia are keeping me safely tucked in the local ground... Perhaps, I may want to move to any parts of the Asean countries, one day. Say Phillippines? (is that a correct speeling?) I have this soft spot for the kids there for years now! heh. I might settle down there if I love it there. :) But of course, that has to depend on God's will. :)
Dear Lord, I pray that I'm able to go the Phillipine one day and serve you there for as long as you want me to. :) Oh, if it's Your will, please put the same vision in the heart of my loved ones and -the one- so that we can work this out in Your name. if not now, maybe later la, also can. take Your time. LOL!!! :) thank you Lord. :))))) In Jesus' name, amen. :) I love You God. :)
Some of them will go Gossip Girl in their small town, where they'll go clubs, get wasted and laugh their way through.
Some of them will go sex-ing here and there, knowing that it's okay doing it in the public.
Some of them will go flirt around with their friends, when they know the spouses are somewhere far, but within limit.
Some of them will always remain beautiful no matter where they go cause they're just perfect. Beautiful, handsome, smart, caring, strong humor, chillax type, independent, strong and perfect.
Some of them will continuously seeking God for guidance, help and just want to be in His presence.
Some of them will just go to holy places (church, mosque, temples etc) just to warm the bench.
Some of them will laugh like nobody's business/complain like nobody's business etc etc.
Some of them will get addicted over certain things (shopping, cars, gadgets etc).
Some of them will be either remain rich or poor (physically, mentally or emotionally)
Some of them will be hoping that true love exist or will just hope hate revolves around them. Either way, it works in this world.. :)
Some of them will remain a control freak/calm peaceful type/jolly type/leader type.
We are one of these, that makes this world interesting, beautiful in fact. :) Work with what we have and the world will work with you. :)
oh, to end my random useless post, I realize that i've gained A LOT of weight. pronto.
Monday, September 6, 2010
NOT FUNNY, I KNOW.
Hellu Boss, I'm now a part of Mr Roger's staff. Ngehehehehe.. Like a star on stage, we must entertain the audience aka customer with our best. YYEEEERRRRRRRRRR..... BAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
K la, first day was tiring but fun. XD I had a "buddy" called Johan, friendly guy. :D K la, ASSIGNMENT TIME. LOL. NITE LOVEs~
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Funny experience with the roomate, Miss Esther + Mami Varenni + Su Jian + Caroline!!
Ah yes, we went for sport and I sprained my right thumb. THAT'S WHY I NEVER LIKE PLAYING BASKETBALL! =.=" I love WATCHING but not PLAYING the game.
After makan MCD, I sang this random chinese song, then everyone were trying hard to IGNORE ME. So I kept on singing whatever chinese words that were popping out until the point where there were sudden *SMACK a GAZILLION TIME* by Miss Esther. HAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
You should have seen her annoyance.
then CAROL pula, sang "SAN ZHI LAU FU. SAN ZHI LAU FU. PAU DE KUAI". which is totally wrong. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHHAH..
our conversation in MCD and durian were crazy overall. :)
oh, Durian was good. banyak daging wei. XD
Friday, September 3, 2010
I have this poor muscles around my fingers.
I hate the feeling of my thumbs getting tired after texting people.
I dislike replying ppl's msgs too often.
Don't know why, but I love to drop by once in a while though...
if only there's a phone that has a virtual keyboard that I can use ALL my fingers
that would BE SOOOO GREAT.
I love to check my facebook msgs-walls-email etc.
But I dislike replying using my phone.
Tired much. my thumbs will get ache at the end of the day.
Even Cedric finds it annoying when i suddenly stop replying him after awhile. HAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAAJAAJAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
He can only chat with me normally when I'm online and goes "YOU DIDN'T REPLY MY SMS! (again)" and his expression will be =.=""""""
Too bad, I prefer talking face to face.
I guess that explains why huh.
Oh, I dislike replying spamming wall too. LOL.
I tend to leave the wall after a few people started to "talk" there.
I love to comment once or twice but more than that, i'll go "urgh"
Don't judge me. I just dislike it.
So bottom line,
I love to talk or listen rathan texting(sms, fb-replying).
Sunday, August 29, 2010
im at a phase where I wanna do everything
I do not know where my commitments are.
I do know I just wanna serve as wherever I am at.
I'm just lost.
Dear Lord, what is it there for me to do now? what is it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Dear Lord, I ask of You to just continue to carry me through.
Debate tournament is tonight.
Give me the wisdom to grow in love and in patient.
Give me the heart to live it out for you.
I'm sorry for the previous post.
I know You chose me to be a jaksa for a reason.
I know I have to learn the hard way to grow out of something.
Let me draw close to you, even in the midst of anger.
I have to control my temper. I have to forgive.
I'm sorry Lord Jesus. Teach me to be more like you.
Day by day.
1 Cor 13:3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Thank You Lord for opening my eyes to not just see beyond the problems. Teach me to love my felos and colleagues. I want to grow more like you, like love. Love is patient. Haih. This is the area I'm supposed to go through huh, God? I bet it is.
Well, bout Cedric. It has been a couple of days since I've not chatted with him? I think it was a couple of few days. LOL. I'm kinda starting to get awkward now, not hearing from him but knowing(in a good way) that he's busy with studies. I having nothing against him with studies, fyi. Dear Lord, remind me to be patient, not self-seeking, kind, not easily angered, not rude, not boastful, persevere, grateful, not keeping records of wrong... Teach me to be submissive to You, instead of wanting things to go my way. Haih. Thank You for showing me the light and grace every seconds of the day.. In Jesus' name, Amen.
thank You for calming my anger too.
thank You for taking away those anger.
thank You for letting me know that I'm able to do this.
thank You for the encouragements from friends
thank You for the faith.
thank You for the grace.
THank You Lord Jesus.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
How I'd die in a car crash.
and how struggling it is to not be drown by my old blood.
How I'm fighting for air yet the blood keeps on flowing in, like water.
I don't recall bout the pain
But I recall bout the legacy I will leave.
But do I actually have a legacy to leave here on earth?
As the memories keep on flashing in my mind
I see the people I've served in UKM, UiTM, Miri, SMK Chung Hua Miri etc.
I see the faces of these people and I see their smiles.
I see the little things I did.
I see only the little things, but did they bring any impact to those who smiled back at me?
I don't know why has it been almost a month I've been thinking bout death?
Seriously. Not funny. hahahaahahahahahaha.. I think Liza is bored of me asking her "If I die kan Liza, will you be sad and cry?" HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. *lame, i know* u know what her replies would be "ih, I'm not gonna answer that. stupid question. of coz la sad, calie you. gai you." hahahahahahahaahahahahahahah
sigh. tired now. real tired.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Ate medicine and woke up 3 hours later.
not a fun thing to do.
i nearly fainted when i went to wash my face. LOL.
I was quiet in PERKEB too.
I can't seem to bother to open my mouth and speak.
I'm just too consumed with the medicine.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
teach me to be patient with thy servants.
teach me to love my neighbours, you know who is that specifically.
I hav 1 semester to grow out of this.
Please mold my character throughout this semester.
Let me be like You.
Let me grow more like YOU.
Key survival for Joy's 2nd Year 1st Sem:
I need them, Lord. Be present in my room.
I need YOU to be present in my room.
Coz honestly I'm trying hard here,
But I need Your strength to carry me through this sem.
First time I encounter such trial,
It's not fun ba God... Really.
I wanna cry when she's around.
She's nice as a whole outside but totally a different person in the room.
that is something new to me. I love her I do, but her character is challenging my way of thinking.
Why can't she just be nice once in awhile and talk in the room?
I'm going to live with her for the next one semester,
I don't mind, I love the fact I have someone to live with.
But most of the times, I feel constraint in my own home. I honestly do.
I'm thinking of quiting our CF too. I can't afford to have a grudge while worshipping You.
I don't want a queen treatment, I don't need much attention,
but a lil "Hie, how are you?" won't kill her, would it?
Giving is what I'm learning this sem, because of her.
it's a good practice. but it's depressing type of giving.
I'm giving so that she will have a happier life this sem,
but apparently it still doesn't work.
But God, if it's pleasing to You, please tell me?
change to make the peace.
I'm changing myself: loud outside to quiet outside, attention outside to cold treatment inside,
CHANGING. but it's making me sad. :(
i need your help God.
Carry me through.
I wanna cry everyday I get in the room.
It's like an atom full of negative aura.
but sad la god. you know how i feel.
please let her speak to me kindly or at least happily everyday.
a happy tone Hie would be enough.
haih. haih. haih.
my College's junior debaters had won the Inter-College English Debate 2010!
Thank You Lord! :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
that loser ced is not online.
i know he's busy in settling everything down.
man, i guess this is how he feels when i rarely reply him
i miss him.
why is the world so huge and cause different time zone.
i miss that guy, that boy.
oh, thank goodness there's a senior of mine is keeping me occupied
his name is greg, a nice guy.
i told him bout ced.
but i want to talk to ced more.
gonna wait for him to email me.
but can you just please be fast?
kamu ni kan, cuba ckp hie ka.
but i doubt u have the time to go online.
sabar jak la.
ranting here is all i can do for now.
saydrik. oh saydrik. di manakah dikau?
it has been day 2, he has been in States.
i'm okay with him being away coz 3 years are not long.
not when im busy with studies, college and everything else.
but now, i miss talking to him.
babi ba him.
okay. im not making any sense.
i just need to clear my head.
i have quiz tomoro, i know wat to do, im just clearing my head for 15mins.
do you know that ppl's studying span is 45mins only? and then u gotta do something else to clear off n then continue again. BAH!
k la. study time. LOL
rindu sama kamu.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
I'm happy now!
10things to be thankful for?
1. Through Jesus, I'm able to have the courage to speak nicely to my family and I LOVE THEM now and forever! Never knew I could feel that way after few years of grudges. LOL..
2. Through Him, I'm living a life that is full of correction yet full of love! Nothing can beat that!
3. Through Him, I'm able to bless my juniors in my colleges with whatever I have. Debate! Debate! Debate! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhaaa.. May God bless each one of them! They are awesome bunch of FRIENDS!
4. Through Him, I'm able to write this! Lol.
5. Through Him, I'm able to run activities in my college smoothly and with grace! Who knew I'm still sane after a month of running here and there! LOL~
6. Through Him, my relationship with Cedric is growing. It may be at a SUPER EXTREMELY SLOWWWWWWWWWW pace, I know I'm growing with Ced, either personally growing and growing as a couple. :) God bless his love for me. :)
7. Through Him, my days are really meaningful and crazy! :) Day by day, He continuously show me grace and mercy and LOVE and and and FAITHFULNESS!!!! Imagine, He blessed me with finance even when I didnt ask for it! LOLL~~~
8. Through Him, my sucky unavoidable situation becomes bearable daily. LOL. Seriously! Life is challenging weiiii~~ I have a friend who is not a friend now and that sucks but He is giving me the joy to go through it! With His strength, I AM ABLE. :)
9. Through Him, I have AWESOME friends and leaders to watch over me! Just when I thought I wanted to be alone, He brings me fellowship that builds me up! :D
10. Through Him, I live because He lives. :)
thank you daddy God! you're the BEST Dad anyone can ask for. Love your daughter!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
OH, here are some verses that I want to bless you with: