Saturday, December 31, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with end of 2011

New year is here! Yey! ^^

I just want to say thank You Lord for being such a faithful and living God in my life for the past one year. I experienced more love from friends and family in times of joy, suffering and sorrow. Though life wasn't easy last year, You have carried me far beyond my imagination. :)

If I could recall, I'd try to list down all the blessings that You have given and ushered me, just to give You an offering of praise and thanksgiving:

1. You gave my great seniors that are continuously blessing me with support and encouragement.
2. You gave me strength, support and joy to go through JAKSA though I cried so many tears along the way.
3. You walked with me in times of quietness and emptiness.
4. You gave me chances to meet new people from different workplace, different colleges, different states and different countries.
5. You gave me a sense of belonging in a family through Paul's family and my own big family back in Miri, when I needed it most.
6. You gave me hope when I had issues financially.
7. You gave me courage to speak of your Grace to people that I may not ever see again.
8. You opened up opportunities for me to serve you in the children's ministry, though I thought of declining to take up this ministry (and i still am)
9. You spoke to me in the busy-ness and in times quiet.
10. You carried me academically, gave me courage to speak boldly in presentations and gain favour in my lecturers.
11. You taught me management when I was chosen to be General Secretary, which I never ever thought before.
12. You brought me to bless different people of different religion as how You wanted me to learn to love.
13. You opened an opportunity for me to share Your truth to different people.
14. You encouraged me through my CF, ICC members, classmates, Uni friends, other friends and family members.
15. You taught me how to love others though it was hard for me to swallow.
16. You taught me grace and humility though it was the hardest for me to do and I'm still suck at it..
17. You opened up opportunity to bless my classmates with prayer and support.
18. You gave me people to help me through emotionally and mentally. :)
19. You were there to remind me of the shitty things I did and what I needed to learn.
20. You brought me to places I've never been before in my entire life.
21. You brought me people to bless me with prophecies and words of encouragement.
22. You spoke with me every day and You were never quiet.

Above all, You carried me and I knew it all along. :)

Thank You Daddy God for being there for me. Thank You for being my best mentor in relationship. Thank You for being faithful when I wasn't being one. Thank you for providing me grace, support, love and care. Thank You Abba Father.

Thank You Daddy. :)

I love you for being just an awesome God and Father and Friend to me. :)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with home 2

I went back Miri with the grace of the Lord. I had the opportunity to go back after months of praying for it. :) thank You Daddy God.

Spelling Out Life... with Influence

"Joy, you are My beautiful child. Never once I leave you. I will carry you far beyond your imagination. I will cause My sweet fragrance around you for you to experience that I am alive in you and people will see them. I will cause the fragrance of influence be upon you and with this influence, I will bring people into your life and they'll see My glory and know Me. I will bring you higher than you ever thought about. But you need to discern very well and walk with Me, Joy. All that I give you is good but you need to walk with Me. Grow with me and you'll go far, further than before. But be very careful. Never mistaken grace with fame. I love you, Joy. You are my daughter. Walk with me."

Spelling Out Life... with Faith

i miss my daddy God. I really miss God.

Spelling Out Life... with lost and not found

I'm currently at the stage where I deliberately run away from the work of God, the grace of God and the love of God.

If you want to know how I feel or think, here is the list:

1. I'm lost. spiritually.
2. I lost vision of what a woman of God should be like.
3. I lost vision of what a Christian is.
4. I lost the strength that wakes me up every morning.
5. I'm sad that I'm not serving in church at the moment.
6. I'm sad that I don't feel joy in doing anything.
7. I feel empty.
8. I'm going crazy inside.
9. I'm down.
10. I feel broken every day.
11. I don't anticipate for anything. nothing interests me anymore.
12. I miss worshiping God in an awesome wondrous manner.
13. I feel dead inside.
14. I don't experience the fruit of the Spirit and that hurts me.
15. I feel empty.
16. I miss God.
17. I'm dried up.
18. I feel as if I live to waste oxygen.

I'm at the stage where I want to go home and see my daddy God and say "Daddy, I'm tired. Carry me to my room, can?'' and i dont know what to do now.

Spelling Out Life... with Ipu Beridang

She left on the 29th of November 2011, the day of my close friend's birthday. :)

I love you Ipu. You are one awesome figure. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Pastor Kid


I'm officially a PK now. what is PK? Look at the title. HAHAHAHAHAH..

Never in my entire life that I come across that "title". LOL. Used to be "Anak Tuan/Anak Polis/Anak Boss" then now, "Anak Pastor".. heheheheheh.. It's interesting to know, of course.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with 7.11.11

we went for a karaoke session in CEO Neway in Fahrenheit88. 7hours of singing, dancing and emo-ing. HAHAHAHA..

it was a good time. :)

thanks to Su-Jian who made it happen for me, thanks to Georgina, Danny, Cora, Varreni, Adi, Pang, Alyssa and Marie for the awesome time out. LOL.

the drama was hilarious. rm84 for 7 bowls of titbits. :D

Spelling Out Life... with Home


i want to fly in an airplane. go somewhere.

Spelling Out Life... with home

i want to go home.

I can't sleep after a whole day singing songs in CEO Neway in Fahrenheit88 in Bukit Bintang area. I miss flying back "home". I just miss the idea of going back to my hometown. sigh.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Encouragement

"The work of the Holy Spirit is Mine, and they will come to completion. The work I've started in you will be done."

...somehow.. I feel like, If I quit TESL, I sense the consequence of disobedience is heavy... hahahaha.. I shall be glad that I'm on the right track. :D

Spelling Out Life... with October!


October is here. :)

Reason why I love it this month is that NO MORE ORIENTATION! Hahahaha... Honestly, doing a one-month orientation program is insane. INSANE, I tell you. With all the meetings, talks, long speeches by idontknowwho and unnecessary events for a month, those really drained me out! BIG TIME! There's not a week where I've not cried out to Him and said "DADDY, THIS IS STUPID. REALLY.. I CAN'T DO THIS!" Well, after a month has passed, I made it through. He carried me through all the times where I cried myself to sleep and stressed out over all these. In the quiet times, He said "Hold on. You are strong." and that made me even sadder because I'm not!

and lo, I remembered this scene as I was interviewed by a lady of God... A senior, Chen May, spoke words of encouragement to me as she sent me back to UKM. "Joy, through all the times that you feel terrible and yet you made it through really well, it was when the Holy Spirit in you works. It was when you gave yourself up to allow Him to work through you." I guess it's true... God has been working in me. :) Last month was hell, but I met more angels than I have before. Last month I cried a lot more than I have in this year, but I was lifted up by these angels. :)

The beginning of this month, however, as I learn to fix my eyes on Him, I realized of His presence in whatever things I do. He never fails to teach me a lot of new things and He blessed me with the love that is ever faithful. :)

This month, He helped me out in the presentations that my groups are working on and my lecturers liked it! :) Yey! He brought people into my life that I could learn my hospitality skills. :) He made me spend time with my PERKEB family and I had fun. :) He brought me friends that stood by me when my days are bad. :) He brought me out for tons of makan sessions and random outings with all my beloveds. :)

day 9 and I'm glad that He's a cool faithful God. :)

A week has passed, and I'm looking forward for this week! :)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Balance

Hie Hie! Heheheh...

I'm doing alright here! :)

Okay, finally I have some time to wind down before I get too keraiiiziii! hahahaha..

Want to know what happened to me the past 4 weeks of September? If you want to know, go ahead and read. If you don't want to know, read jak la. HAHAHAHA..

Week 1

Orientation for the juniors are held. As usual, there'll be drama from the junior side and the side of the higher authority. My goodness, being the PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM between 2 breads are ANNOYING that week! The juniors got pissed at us for last minute details, we are shoveled with last minute infos by the PC PUSAT.. I consoled 2 juniors during this week... It wasn't easy to put myself in their shoes but I tried la, it ended well, i assume. :) But above all, I thank God that I can be of good examples

Week 2

Orientation Week is over! YEY. Here comes another responsibilities from PERKEB, as you all know, I'm the person in charge of the meeting arrangement with University. It wasn't easy for me to balance it all out when JAKSA and PERKEB this week. I forgot a few infos, I missed certain things but God sustained me, He did. and the best part, He put a lot of great friends to watch over me. :) I pity my beloved cause of my tantrum. I lashed people out of stress. I cried out of stress. I fell out of stress... This is the first time I feel college is not fun anymore. :P

Week 3

VC Cup English debate is here!! Hihihih.. Watching the juniors out is simply de-stressing! I should work as a motivator or trainer in the future wei.. It's actually a miracle to watch how far people grow in a particularly new skill. :) I'm proud of the juniors though this year we didn't break into the quarter. :) They gave out their best in the last speech and yes, I'm proud to see my 2nd juniors train these people too! Arrangement for PERKEB has finally come to places and God has been good la. :P Staying in college is not so bad after all. :) The sad thing for this week was that a friend of mine left Malaysia. :(

Week 4

This week, spending time with my beloved has been a blessing. :) All my favourite angels are graduating and I'm blessed to be able to watch them graduate. They have been such great influence on my side for the past 3 years in UKM la.. :) I'm honoured to know them personally and I'm blessed to have them in my life. :) God bless each and everyone of you. :) Oh yes, the play in UNITEN is so much better than last year's. It's adapted from A Walk to Remember (my favourite movie ever) and the songs played in the theater is so nice! :) Kudos to all of the casts and crews. :) hihihi.. September has come to an end.

Balancing out studies, PERKEB and JAKSA is coming to a picture right now and I don't feel too stress for now. :) It's tough la indeed but I know and believe that He carries me through, though I only see a set of footprints on the ground. :)

Monday, September 19, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with low emotional state of mind

i need a hug.

i need someone to tell me that "ilek la.. its nothing big"

i need someone to tell me that "hey. ur going to be okay. coz He is with you"

i need someone to pinch me and say "dont be such a puss and jump back up, will you???"

i need someone to throw me a bucket of ice water on my face.

i need someone to tell me "ur schedule is not pack. so u will be A-OK"

i need someone to tell me "look unto heaven and see His faithfulness"

i need someone to tell me "the LORD gave you a good break in Penang, remember? so what makes you think He won't carry you through the week?"

I need someone to tell me "chillax"

i need myself to absorb all the things I said above.

Spelling Out Life... with Running Away

I've been running away from my family.

I wish that I don't have this issue.

I wish that Paul didn't bring this up.

I wish that I can love everyone else but treat my family as secondary thing.

I wish that Paul could just shut himself up.

I'm pissed at myself.

God, teach me to look unto heaven.

Spelling Out Life... with unnecessary stress

I guess I've been pushing myself to the point of unnecessary stress. Betul ba. Buduh ba otak sia ni.. cis. hahahaahahah.. kalau sia duduk di luar badan sia kan, semestinya sia ni ckp dgn bdn sia ni "ish. ilek ilek ba. tada apa2 tu..." hahahaahaha..

Council work is done, PERKEB work tinggal satu, class blum mula but I treat myself as if the world is going to end.

"Joy. be still. Look unto heaven."

hmm.. look unto heaven?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with being selfless

throughout the time of suffering, I realized I have to learn to give up so many things physically and emotionally. It isn't easy... part of me doesn't want to lose my marbles in the whole process, part of me want to give up, part of me just want to see God do something, part of me is holding on to the grand promises of God and part of me just doesn't want to give in my traditional rigid perception of how things SHOULD run! You've been there before, don't you. Yea, at this season of life, I think I have an issue of being selfless.

God, God, break my pride and let Your Holy Spirit mold me greatly. I am ready for the next couple of pride-breaking days, carry me through though.. Give me the courage as I fall down to my level of humility. Give me the strength to carry myself selflessly in these days.

In Jesus name,

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with "I puasa la"

As Malaysians, one way or another, we are bound to fast over some things or occasions. We are either following own belief’s yearly fast or we just simply want to fast on over-indulgences, such as Facebook, shopping, eating snacks and so on. However, when it comes to fasting, I realized there is more than just not eating our 3 favourite meals of the day or resisting our minds from doing certain acts. Fasting, for me, challenges us to go beyond our horizon of daily routine and it is supposed to upgrade us to a whole new level of growth -- spiritually. It should, isn't it?

Fasting, as I see it, is not hoping for God above to pardon our never-ending sins, to bless our plain pathetic or to some, awesome lives or even to grant ample of favour for us. It is supposed to challenge us to grow more in Him, not restricting us over a ritual or tradition. Fasting supposedly goes beyond our understanding of our own benefits and of our own self. It is never about “what’s for dinner tonight?” or “I’d like to eat to this for dinner and breakfast” because yea, it’s not just about me, me, me and me! It is never meant to be about us and it never should be about us. Fasting, to me, should make us revolving more around God, or whoever that you may worship. Through fasting, one should have an eternal perspective of how we worship the one who creates us and of how we should dwell in His presence. Because at the end of the day, it is all about Him. Once we have grasped the wholesome idea of this, it makes fasting way easier, no?

One may think that fasting is a way to losing weight, I may not object, because it IS true! Haha. *you should try it!* Nonetheless, this is not the main point here. LOL. Again, as I am in the process of renewing my walk with God, I realized that fasting goes beyond our capabilities to serve our selfish desire but more towards the community.

I once read a scripture in Isaiah 58 verse 1 till 14 (Yesaya 58:1-14, in BM)). This scripture calls for us:

“For day after day they seek me out;

they seem eager to know my ways,

as if they were a nation that does what is right

and has not forsaken the commands of its God.

They ask me for just decisions

and seem eager for God to come near them.

‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,

‘and you have not seen it?

Why have we humbled ourselves,

and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please

and exploit all your workers.

Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,

and in striking each other with wicked fists.

You cannot fast as you do today

and expect your voice to be heard on high.

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,

only a day for people to humble themselves?

Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed

and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?

Is that what you call a fast,

a day acceptable to the LORD?

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

We are called to serve others as how we worship our Lord, we are called to bless others with whatever that you have sacrificed for during this fasting season, may it be giving your old (or even new!) clothes, time, attention, cash etc. We are called to be blessings to others because He has first blessed us! What good will fasting be if our relationships with one another are not showing the righteousness and the love of our Lord? Let us challenge ourselves to grow and reach out for the poor and needy out of real conviction and surely the Lord will bless our genuine heart as how you have blessed Him through those generous acts. :) I can bet you learn to expand your level of humility and your contact network all over the place too! Who knows, when you run for presidency, those hands you reached out before will stand up for you, just as how you stood up for them! Haha! :)

Dwell closer in Him through this season of get-to-know-God, and surely you will find joy in Him, just as how it is mentioned in the Scripture. On top of that, be blessed as how you have bless others.

Day 18 of Ramadhan and the joy of the Lord should still be with you! hihihi.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Passions

"You will work among the majority"

*flashes of various faces*

"You will have to hold on to Me even more but NEVER EVER doubt that I'll leave."

"You will serve these group of people in your life."

"Your walk with him is not going to be easy but you have to trust Me."

"Everything will be beautiful in My timing. Just believe"

"You will be as one of the top of the world but you will serve them as how I served you."

"You are called for a greater call but always know that I am always with you."

"It is certainly easier to walk with the crowd than to go against it. Just hold close to Me and you will grow."

"Many doesn't see the burden in your heart but there are people out there with the same burden as you, thinking over the same thing. It's just a matter of time that you'll work together. Just have faith."

"just believe and you'll be fine. just believe."

"If you ever stop praying for these people, the rocks will cry out and what's your purpose of being here at the first place?"

"stop going on your own strength. Just let go and believe that I'll bring everything together in time."

"I need you to go through all these in order for you to learn on your own. But it means you well."

If I ever stop discerning on His words in my life, I'd rather die than to live another thousand years of never knowing Him again.

Lord, great is thy faithfulness in my life. thank You! :)

Spelling Out Life... with Thanksgiving #2

Hey there readers, it has been a while, don't you think so? :) I kind of miss the whole drama that I always put in my writings (or so they seem), but yea, things have been busy the whole semester break and it is finally coming to an end yo! BOO! ;P

If there are words to describe of His faithfulness, it'll be certainly be the song "Fire Fall Down" by Hillsong United.

"These hands are yours
Teach them to serve
As you please and I'll reach out
Desperate to see all the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in you"

You've changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In you I am blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of you

I guess I've been struggling so much more with my own character until the point where He just HAS to break my pride in order for me to listen to Him! As I spend time with Him everyday for the past couple of weeks, it has been both tough and interesting I may add... Revealing of another side of me until I can't seem to ignore and I just HAVE to change for the better of myself. It'll be shallow and stupid of me when I ignore His gentle nudge, when I could feel extremely bitter towards mere mortals that nudge me. LOL.

To He who has died and lives, He is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only He is the life, He is the ever faithful pillar that loves me and I can't describe what life could have been if He's not in it.

Thank You Abba Father, my friend, my saviour, my Lord, my pillar, my foundation and my love, Lord Jesus Christ.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Windy Road

Windy road ahead! Gonna be ready for the unexpected twist in few months down the road.. :) Lord, Lord, one thing I ask, as we wake up daily the next coming months, let us grow closer to You, gain strength from You alone and never be bitter in whatever situation that is to come.. Amen.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Working Alone

I guess working without your friends does make everything different.. :) But nonetheless, God has been blessing me with my colleagues. :) They have been blessing me with food everyday!!! :D My manager does give me the creep sometimes though... Is that the typical manager style, oh people who works? Hmmm.. HAHAHAHA...

K.. K.. Thank You LORD for the awesome past weeks.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Work


I'm now working with the *cough* Koreans! Muahahahaah..

They are rather quiet when I'm there AND the best part of all, I'm working in a Bakery! :DDDDD imagine that, Joy, who has zero experience in packing stuff and literally hates packing stuff, ended up doing that for the next 3 months *gasps* hahhahahaha..

kkkkk. busy gila now. But i think it's where I'm supposed to be. :) hugs LORD. :) I love you.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Family

Everyone says family of the same blood watches out for you,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood takes care of you, rain or shine,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood supports you,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood loves you,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood builds you up,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood sticks together,
but i beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood is inseparable,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood grows together,
but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood spends time together,
but I beg to differ.

What do I agree in?

Family doesn't make up of the same bloodline. They don't. Family is made up from a group of individuals of different races, characters, looks, weights etc, that support, care, grow together, spend time together and love one another. That is what I call family. I realized I have more families than I could imagine and asked for, want to know why? My fellow bloodlines are strangers to me, literally. If I could name one disappointment in life, it would be having fellow bloodlines that doesn't care or love you as a person. They know your existence but they couldn't be bothered about your being. When you stick to them, care for them emotionally, spiritually and physically, in the end, what do you get? Not even one support. Not even one! Okay, maybe one or two supports, can't deny that. But when you are totally in need, they are gone. Like KAPPOOOOOSH! BAM! "I'M OUTTA HERE!" or "SEE YA, DON'T WANNA BE YA"

Therefore, I thank God for the families I have all around Malaysia. :) They have been nothing but nice to me and love me like their own. :) thank you from the deepest bit of my heart! :) If there's "World Family Day", I'd call each one of you just to say THANK YOU! :)

My mood now is disappointment.

Somehow, a friend of mine: Choudhry, comes in the picture right now, to remind me to let go. Though he doesn't know what I'm going through right now, I think God sends him to bless me with the song "Irisdescent" :) Wanna know what the lyric says?

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure's all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration,
And let it go,
Let it go."


thank You LORD for always being here with me through different individuals... :) I shall be glad and know I'm loved by YOU, him and my other foster families.. :)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Redang Lang Tengah


I really thank my Daddy God for giving me opportunity to go for a vacation on an island, where I've not been to. I've been wishing to go to a private island before and my dream has come through! THANK YOU LORD!!! :))))) I also want to thank Him for giving me the time to create friendships with different bunch of people in college! The 3days 2 nights, from 10-12th of May, in Redang Lang Tengah were awesome as we went for snorkeling, karaoke-ing, volley-balling and food-feeding 24/7. the boring part was the meeting. Hahahaha. Hmph! I've grown big after that! LOL.

And the thing about the island, it is gorgeous! Imagine going for a honeymoon with your dearly beloved there! FUYOOOOO!! LOL. 2-3resorts on the island some more! Speaking about complete privacy, the phone coverage there can be rather sucky, so those who really wants peace and quiet moments with the nature, you can swim your way there. :) It's beautiful, quiet and serene. There's BLUE CORAL too! muhohohohoh! :D

K la, let the pictures drool you. :D or you drool after looking. :D or maybe not. :D

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Struggles with Cash

internal struggles with finance security really hits me big time. I'm pissed at myself rather than doubting He who will provide myself. I'm still picking things up slowly. I need an account book. I need to start now or I'll forever be a selfish brat who dreams of owning a private jet plane one day.

another struggle after another. I really have to learn to get myself together! right??

hugs joy. hugs.


the weather is killing me. its too humid

Monday, May 9, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Jom Masuk Universiti 2011

Sitting down reminiscing the moments I had, with my JAKSA colleagues and SMK Seri Tangkak Johor Students, is creating that solemn emotion one always have after certain situation. I really thank God for every wee bit of struggles, joy and tears that I had whilst handling the programme. :) I thank God for the strengthening of friendships, newly formed friendships and new experiences (PLAYING M-16!!)

Preparing for the programme was not an easy task for me la. Writing more than 10 letters in a short period wasn't fun, making proposals, having proposals being rejected, letters being rejected etc etc.. I cried coz I hate secretarial job before this but after all those struggles, I learn to develop a sense of management in handling little little things and hey, I never knew being a secretary is actually very easy! LOL!

During the programme, 6th-8th of May 2011, I realized that I can be VERY strict to people. yes, STRICT. Hahahahaha... I punished the students the squat-stand(what do people call this again?) 30-40times because they were deliberately late. LOL. I even left, yes, LEFT, my ajk because he slept in his room! waited for him 20mins in the scorching hot weather wasn't fun. LOL. Nonetheless, we apologized to one another soon after and we're okay with it.

That was the strict side of me, but of course, Joy GL wasn't made to be all evil and all. I think I still have my maternal love instinct in me the whole time. LOL. I was in charge with the students' welfare and health and I tell you, it was FUN! So many people had sick, fever, scratches, bruised, scars etc etc on the second day. LOL. I learnt back on first aid through Wan Zairul Azri. :) Awesome friend and leader he is! :) I learnt to shift people's attention off the injuries they have too. :) Pretty good thing to do if one is injured.. For example, this girl cried big time after she accidentally cut her palm, LOL... (dont laugh), as I took out the medicine out from the F.A.K., I quickly asked her "hey... do you have siblings? how old are they?" and her reaction was puzzling. HAAHAHAHA.. "huh? ermm... *still sobbing mode* I have 5. and uhm, *sobbing lessen* the eldest is uh... 34. and uh... *stop crying* the second one ah, 30 lor.. blaa bla bla". Geez, I should have taken nursing instead of teaching last time. LOLL...

The students that I came to know personally kan, they are really innocent and they are hungry for more knowledge if the school learn to get to know this people. Some of them really taught me a lot about life, just by talking to me about their families, their interests, their friends, teachers and about themselves.. Their characters varies and they are great bunch of kids! :) Thank God for the chances of getting to know them, encouraging them and blessing them with whatever I had.

oh! One thing for sure, I hate the school system. I HATE IT. Some of you who knows me well, rarely hate something or people right? yea, the school system really pisses me off. REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

The best part of all, I prayed with 4 other Christian students before they left. :) We prayed for their exams and studies, their friends studies, their families etc. :) The funniest departure was when a girl cried when I hugged her.. She said these in chinese "Sis, thank you for taking care of me. I'm going to miss you. I really hope we can meet again.. and please dont tell my teacher I cried again. she'll post in the school news wan.." hahaahahahahahaahahahahaah.... then I called her teacher and she went "WEEEIIIIII JIEEE!!!!! BU YAOO!!!!" hahahahahaa..

but above all, the most encouraging words for me was when Teacher Suhaila said "Joy, I hope you'll be a great teacher next time. You'll be great one next time" :) and another photog teacher said "Joy, thanks for everything. You'll make a great teacher one day."


all in all, what new things I experienced the whole time?
- Ushering YB.
- Playing M-16 (shot 3 cans within 25m distance!!!!!)
- walked 4-5km of hills and curves within an hour. HAHAHAHA.. punya lambat...
- Staying in Markas Palapes, pretty neat stuff! :) Fun too!
- Bonding with my new batch of JAKSA people was great as well!
- Showing Gadoh to the non-muslim students and encouraging them to respect one another etc.. :)

k la, k la, lunch time. hugs!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Secretarial Works

Hahahahaha.. I think I can get used to this work!

I know earlier on I was ranting with so much burden but I think after that day, I had a good cry/complaint/release of tension, I'm back up on my feet again.

I thank Him for teaching me how to be more organized in my work. Thank Him for the strength and patience. :) Still learning the art of patience right now. :) Thank Him for molding me in that area.. :)

Lately, for a week i've not been sleeping well. I think i'm going to the clinic to give me the calming pills to make me sleep. I really am stressed out in a minor way.

Learning to cope up with it.

oh oh oh oh!!!!! Im so happy I finished all my work in time! :) And i'm proud that my works are settled even before the due date! I'm so proud of myself. hahaahahahahaa.. I'm gonna treat myself with ice cream this weekend. :)

For the first time in history, I've written more than 10letters in 3days. I never once written more than once in a long long long time... LOLLL

Monday, April 25, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Better self

I'm okay now. I just need to sleep cause I haven't gotten a full cycle lately. LOL. Never mess with Joy's sleep or she'll crack after a few days. hahahahaha..

Kk. I'm okay now. LOL. I'll continue writing my JAKSA letters tomorrow. I want to sleep because I need to send in the paperwork tomorrow. I wonder how do Prime Minister sleeps at night... He has the whole country to think through. What about me? A big-sized yet tiny role of a student leader that doesn't know how to carry herself even with little responsibilities.

Sigh. Nonetheless, I'm thankful for being able to be in the room now. Lying on the floor amongst the mess and in the dark is just pure bliss.

Thank You Lord for the responsibilities. These are Your ministries and I shall run them diligently with Your strength.. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Responsibility







"draw close to me and you'll find strength."

i'm sad, God. :'( I'm tired, God. I'm stressed, God. I'm honestly sad, God. Daddy, I'm sad. I really am sad. I'm stressed.

Spelling Out Life... with Fats

I'm big fat and huge. thank you.

aside from that thought being fed in my head. I'm frigging stress out over JAKSA. I want to cry. I know I have to learn to handle management, be more frigging organized and be frigging ready for things, but right now I feel so inadequate. I FEEL SO #@%q#@%#@% pissed at myself for not being able to train my brains to take things lightly and enjoy the whole @#%$#@ process. I'm pissed at myself for not being #@$@#%#% organized and slow. I'm picking things up slowly. I suck.

I want to eat all those slimming pills and be uber skinny like everyone else. At the end of the day, looks carry yourself further in the world.


i'm just stupid. fat. ugly. really dumb.

I just want to be alone. screw you.

i'm pissed.

i'm never good enough for you.



i'll be fine. I'm just pissed off at myself for JAKSA's stuff.
responsibility is never fun. #@$%!@ IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'M STRESS. thank you.

i really feel so #@%$^@^3 up!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Sarawak State Election

Taib won the round. im bummed out. damn sad.


Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB Seniors


I'm emotional now. Period is here, what to do. Anyway, memandangkan saya tengah emotional, I shall post an emotional post. T.T (sedih sudah)

To all my seniors:

1. Su-Jian Koay:

You've been so great to me. Thank you for being cool when I nearly cried in the car. LOL. I'll never forget that part. (T.T) Thank you for the emotional and spiritual support the whole 2 years that I've known you. You're one awesome senior that cooks, counsels, jokes around, wise and protects. Always remember that you are AWWEEEESOOMMMEEEEEEE (barney, HIMYM).

2. Caroline Lee:
The senior of the same species, I look up to as a big sister... Thank you for your love, support, concern, lame jokes, weird driving, great laughter, hospitality and your prayer. You are one beautiful woman, a full grown woman who knows what she wants in life. Live up to your calling, kay. Because His work in you is still moving and working for the whole world to know Him.

3. Benjamin Chan:

A subtle character but a strong faith you have there. Thank you for blessing me with your listening ears, support, care, hospitality and love. I see that the Lord has been faithful to you, just speak forth of His grace and faithfulness to those who haven't heard Him. He will carry you through the words that He has prepared for them. Just know that He will finish what He has first called you to be.

4. Isabel Lo:

the woman with a knowledgeable mind and a loving heart. Thank you for your companionship and love throughout the whole 2 years of knowing you. I love our crazy and sad moments together. Thank you for supporting me emotionally with your mum's amazing story back in first year. Thank you for being just great in helping me building up the characters of the junior debaters. Thank you for being you when we're together. You are one beautiful character that He always use in the littlest thing you do. Be daring in being different, that's all that I can say. Just be daring.

5. Davin:
loud crazy one, hehe. Thank you for faithfully serving me when I first came to UKM, bringing me to church and all. Thank you for the heart-to-heart session in the van. that is priceless. You are priceless. continue to be faithful because you are meant to be one.

6. Evon:
lol. i doubt that you read this but i'm glad that you have blessed me with your funny comments about so many things! thank you for your love stories... heheehheheheeheh....

7. Danny:

orang lawak. hahaahahaha.. jum kita lagu HSM time karaoke lagi! hahaahahahahaahah.. thank you for always bringing out the life out of everyone! you are the joy of the place where He puts you to be.

8. Taiko:

You are one faithful character. Seek and you will find. Open up your heart and never doubt. A faithful man will just live by faith and know that he is in good hand. You have an abundant future, always believe in it. thank you for always being there for me. thank you for loving me as a sister. thank you for always lighten up my day with your random comments. :) Don't forget our pinky promise!!!!!


to all the UKM seniors, thank you for your presence in my life. to the names I've not mentioned, I cant write more. Crying badly now. Thank you.

thank you.

I pray that the Good Lord will always break you and mold you and also discipline you and love you. I pray that He will strengthen you and give you all the wisdom that you need for your future undertakings. I pray that you continue to walk with Him and bless Him with whatever that He has given you. I love you guys with my heart and soul. You are my blessings. You are my treasures and I thank Him for all the moments we have had together. Thank You Lord Jesus for all the beautiful souls that You have blessed me.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with More Responsibilities

Matthew 25:14-30 (New Living Translation)

Parable of the Three Servants
14 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. 15 He gave five bags of silver[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

16 “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. 17 The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. 18 But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. 20 The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’

21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together![b]

22 “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’

23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

24 “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. 25 I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’

26 “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, 27 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’

28 “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. 29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 30 Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’


at times like this, somehow I know that God teaching me a lot of new responsibilities for my future growth. I know not what are they for but for now, I'm taking the role of leadership and teaching.

As the new semester takes place in September, 2 new responsibilities are added in, compared to last year. I honestly do not know how I'll handle my time and my mind. Time management is not my forte but I guess I have to learn to separate what's important and what's not.

Lord Lord, all that I ask for is Your only Hand to carry me through.

I believe that all the work that You've given me is a blessing instead of burden.

In jesus name, I can do all these.


Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB AJK 2011/2012

Use me Lord according to Your will.

I know nothing but I want You to bring me far

Spelling Out Life... with JAKSA 2011/2012

Hear ye! Hear ye!

I'm the Kolej Tun Hussein Onn Student Council for 2011/2012.

I'm the General Secretary for the coming academic calendar year.

I'm freaking out honestly. i NEVER once becoming a secretary before.

I'm honoured for given responsibilities but I'm scared.

Please be with me. Ask "How are you?" and listen to my cries when the semester starts in September k? That's all that I need. Pray for me too. I need all the emotional support. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Pastoral Care

Lately, I've been speaking to 3 different characters: a Pastor, Pastor's wife and Pastor's kid.

One thing I find them in common, they suffer emotional and mental struggle, so bad.

Pastors have so many things to handle.
Pastors welfare are not taken care of.
Pastors have to listen for people's struggles and zip in their own struggles.

Pastors' wives have to abandon luxury treatment.
Pastors' wives have to deal with husbands' and childrens' welfare.
Pastors' wives have to die to themselves and serve everyone in the church too.

Pastors' kids have to deal with putting up a good front ALL the time.
Pastors' kids have no attention from fathers.
Pastors' kids have to depend on their siblings for family support.


hmm... God, You are teaching me about HUMILITY, aren't you? My time is nearing when He puts me there in the pedestal pedal, soon.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with misses

LOL. Don't laugh or grin. I know some of you would. :D

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Banning dances

after reading from here:

I think religious leaders in Malaysia should have a monthly gathering just to clear the air on what is good for the Muslims to do and what cant be done. It's rather embarrassing if extremists are on the bar of unity-hatred box.


Poco-poco is not written in the Bible.

So before you extremists start to ban everything and make every Malays be pissed at the Christians for all these banning processes, please, I beg you to READ the Bible! PLEASE! Before you start to pass stupid irrelevant judgement on the Christians, please read the Bible. Google it in or

Funny stuff. Indeed. :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Cinderella Dream

she walks through in a cave,
she saw two dresses and she had the instruction of wearing the blue dress,
to her surprise, she saw beautiful blue gems appearing before her! :)
she follows the blue gems trail in that cave that lead her to happiness.

when she wakes up from her nap,
she saw the possibilities of trusting the blue gems around her.

yet, when she fell asleep the second time,
she dreamt of the same cave again,
this time, the same instruction appeared, but she took the red dress.
She was hoping to see the blue gems to lead her out again,
but to her dismay, she was wrong.
the blue gems turned into burning red shiny spikes and she grew scared!
she followed it and it led her to destruction.

the angels at the end questioned her, "have I not asked you to listen? come now, wake up and learn."
She woke up startled.

and I realized I woke up too.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 1 again

Humble yourself under the Mighty power of God
and at the right time, He will lift you up in honor.

Learning. Man, this is tough. I never knew I'd be as irritated as now. Irritated in the manner of myself. macam berhenti merokok only. LOL. Imagine you're used to one person and there u go, you shut them off. LORD, I'M SAD. It's a good thing that I'm feeling this way, to show how much I need to change in certain things = my characters in viewing things.

I'll make it through this. Amen.

words of wisdom are : wait. just wait.


i can. :)

Lord, i'm humbling. ahhahahaaahahah.

= still in childish mode.

cane me.

Spelling Out Life... with damn relationships

friendships are hard to keep. it's just a willing heart to go the distance to listen to the most shallow part of the other person's shallowest phase in life. that's all.

girl, it's okay. it's just a transition period. just love me as how you equally love those that are around you. I'm shallow. i know.

one thing after another. joy + relationships = never ending dramas. !@$!@#$%^@#~(%(*%^

friends after friends leaving.

but I wont, not on you.

again, I'm shallow. i'm sorry.

no, this post is not about him. the end.

Spelling Out Life... With Day 1

God reminded me of His promise and I know well of this should be done long time ago. I feel stupid for putting myself in these shoes. Well, better start now then to regret after. Dear Lord, carry us well. :)

day 1: the Lord is my shepherd. Instruction is not easy but I'll stick to it.. A month of finding back the LOVE from up above, this will determine the course of journey yet who will gain glory? Not me nor him, indeed I'll give it back to our Lord Jesus Christ.

thank Him for the love and support from the leaders and elders. Thank Him for their concern. A way for wisdom is to heed the words of the elders and I shall do it..

Spelling Out Life... with Time Out

time out. Version 2.

by the end of this, we're going to be stronger.
Cause that is the decision I'm going to make soon after.
I know this time, He is above us and in us.


Saturday, March 26, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Questions 3

K la. I Give up.

If the godly relationship is something that would have every leaders' approvals, then what I have now is not up to that level yet.

If my relationship isn't bringing anyone from my side any good, from the way people perceive me and all, I shall take a huge step backward to think this through.

In Jesus name,


Its hilarious how my first post makes myself sound like a child, instead of a mature person. foolish me. :D well, we gotta learn

Spelling Out Life... with Questions 2

okay. I just say all those before coz I cant digest.

Now, I thank God for all the advices. and I shall sip it in.

the bible says, take heed of your elders' words.

I'm thinking twice now.

Spelling Out Life... With Questions

I come to learn that I make people question my capabilities in handling relationships right now.

To many, in a relationship, one should:

1. be serious in the relationship
2. take her/his time
3. not jump straight into it
4. have a clear mind
5. not follow feelings much
6. be sure of oneself

etc etc.

That pressures me.

Being 21, flamboyant, outgoing, friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of girl, it's not a fun thing to have people's perceptions of "what a relationship should be" tie around my neck. Yes, I honour the conventional traditional way of courtship. But, I dont know la, I have my own perception of what I see my relationship be, you know.

For me, the way I see relationship is that
1. I inform/tell everyone I love about him, vice versa
2. I won't go PDA (Public Display of Affection) around.
3. I won't do what is not right to me or make him do whatever that is not right before our God.
4. I grow with him and vice versa.
5. I update people about our current walk in life.
6. My studies or other commitments are not affected by it.
7. I let him meet everyone that is important to me and vice versa.

I don't know la. Honestly, I feel like I cant fit in people's perception right now and I'm technically going up against current. It's pressuring ba. People expect me to learn from my past and they expect me to learn REALLY well. Now, many are questioning the way I carry myself with my past words, whether "will joy keep her words as she promised?" or "will she repeat the same mistake again and fall?". Everyone has their eyes on me, wanting me to succeed until the point where I begin to develop this huge fear that I will fail them one day.

How I feel right now?
1. I wanna cry for sharing the news with people about him. Although I do want people to know his existence.
2. I wanna cry because I'm pressured about "will this next step I take is a bad one? will they look down on me if it's a mistake?"
3. I wanna cry because I'm capable of failing this current relationship one day and everyone is going to give me that head shakes again.
4. I wanna cry because now, I'm beginning to develop a sense of faith in this one and people are telling me to back off for now.
5. I wanna cry because their perceptions are making me doubtful of myself. I cant do this, right???
6. I feel stupid. I don't know the manual book for dating but all I know I'm honouring myself before God and him before Him. Somehow it's not enough to make people have a little faith in me in this whole thing.

My sister Grace just opened up my eyes. she kept on emphasizing that "Joy, you are still young. It's okay if you make mistake. It's part of life. If you're happy now, then good la. Better than being scared in taking nothing at all the whole time. Don't stress out about your relationship and what others perceive you. You will learn through the process la. Relax jak la. biar jak mereka habis air liur." HAHAHAHAHA..

so begitu la perasaan saya sekarang. tension.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with The Article 11

Article number: 11

(1)Every person has the right to profess and practice his religion and, subject to Clause (4), to propagate it.
(2) No person shall be compelled to pay any tax the proceeds of which are specially allocated in whole or in part for the purposes of a religion other than his own.
(3) Every religious group has the right
(a) to manage its own religious affairs;
(b) to establish and maintain institutions for religious or charitable purposes; and
(c) to acquire and own property and hold and administer it in accordance with law.
(4) State law and in respect of the Federal Territories of Kuala Lumpur and Labuan, federal law may control or restrict the propagation of any religious doctrine or belief among persons professing the religion of Islam.
(5) This Article does not authorize any act contrary to any general law relating to public order, public health or morality

Spelling Out Life... with Current Issues

If stamping on bible is a standard procedure,
by all means, stamp all the religious books in Malaysia.
Quran is just for the Muslims, the Tipitaka for the Buddhist, the Veda for the Hindus.

Fair isn't it?

What is a standard procedure to the govt. anyway?
Is it standard for Malaysians to be bribed and got away with it?
Is it standard for Malaysians to close the Altantuya's case?
Is it standard for a student to scratch a teacher's car?
Is it standard for lecturers to come in late and care more about her Masters Students than her undergrads?
Is it standard for Malaysians to manipulate the citizens with so many promises?
Is it standard for Malaysians to close Teoh Beng Hock's case?
Is it standard for Malaysian to shoot a boy at his own agenda?
Is it standard for to have accusations upon accusations towards every political parties?
Is it standard for Malaysians to mock one another when status is jeopardized?
Is it standard for Malaysians to put a video of pornography publicly without the person's consent be let go?
Is it standard for Malaysians to say that it's karma for the Japanese and they deserved the tsunami because of WW2?
Is it standard for Malaysians to actually send help to the needy yet mock them at the same time?
Is it standard to send all the bright Malaysians to study overseas and let them grow there instead of here?
Is it standard to shut off Malaysians when they publicize about the truth on certain things?
Is it standard to have Malaysians misusing powers?
Is it standard to cover up lies with lies and kill or hurt those who actually knows the truth?

I just don't get it.
Why is it such standard to stamp on Bibles when the rest of the issues above carry more weight to the country? Why aren't the citizens' welfares be taken care off first before slandering the Christians? Yes I'm severely not satisfied for the Bible issue but I'm heartbroken because it's clearly shown how people care more about tiny stuff than big issues above. If this is the lifestyle of the (not) rich and (not) famous people, there goes the country.

Spelling Out Life... with Pranks

I pranked the wrong people the other day. Until now, she's not talking to me...


She was family and now, she's just a family's girlfriend.

So learnt my lesson, never to prank her ever again, in life. I thought she's one of those that have serious face but chillax type. =.=" sigh. She'll never forgive me for being like this.

But then again, I can't blame her, it's her serious character that surrounds her life. I should've told him not to tell her at the first place! geez.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with a Dream

nightmares, what do you do when you had one?

Sigh. This morning, as I was praying, I was reminded of a nightmare I once had, around end of last year, to be exact... I questioned what good will it bring to me? I got scared and cried, so what good will it possibly bring?

I dreamt about my city or was it a city not of my own, being hit by a tsunami. It was a city. Yes, tsunami. I dreamt that I was stuck in a traffic jam on a hill and I ended up coming out of the car because it's not moving. I recalled my friends were with me and we ran all the way to the top of the hill! It wasn't a great thing to experience. I really felt as if I was there. But the weird thing was, it happened twice and I ran towards a different hill. Have you seen this one particular movie where it was about this president got shot but the whole thing is witnessed from different perspectives? It was exactly alike. Somehow I saw this tsunami happening twice but at a different angle when I saw it the second time.

Sigh. Lord, Lord, help me with the dreams you have planted in me. I don't get why. I really wish You can teach me.

Spelling Out Life... with My 21st!

When all the simple things I desired, God has blessed me with even more than I expected!


I had the family meal I longed for
(@ Village View Bangi)
I had the homecook food I craved for, NERNNY COOKED!!!!

- Thanks to the PERKEB people: Varrenni, Esther, Jared, Ben, Rofia, Rachel, Raymond, Nernny!-


I hung out with my new friends from SMK JLN REKO (the one behind the Shell Station after Philo). I had fun getting to know the heart of the Form3 girls personally. :)

They treated me with McFlurry!


Jared, Esther and Varreni surprised me in the car! :D
So much for going dating in Serdang huh, Jared? Hahahaha
SAME GOES TO REN: "Oh, I wanna go Hentian Kajang"
Esther: "I'm going back to Melaka la, use Kajang station"

These 3 crazy people had to endure ear blasting session the moment I saw GREEN TEA CHEESE CAKE!!!!!! hahaahahaha.. I wailed and laughed, of course. LOL! The session continued when Ren gave me my 2nd present for the day! :D BROS BOTTLE!!!


Went to Subang Square to eat in Sinbad Restaurant, the Arabian Food. :)
Played Murderer Game! :DD

-Thanks to: Sek Kuan, Isabel, Dev, Maggie, Edna, Jeremy, Darryl, Jan Hoe, Fea, Cher Linn, Jim.


The crying session happened when Taiko, Isa and Maggie
surprised me in the car! :DD

They gave me Secret Recipe's Chocolate Indulgence cake, a gorgeous Silver necklace and a beautiful card! :)

12 March 2011

Went to Times Square, KL for birthday shopping with Sharon, after 7pm.
Sharon got me Starbucks TRIPLE CHEESE something2. I couldn't recall.
I bought 2 pairs of shoes from NICHII for RM70!!!!!!!
a pair of heels and a pair of sandals.
Had Subway for dinner.

13 March 2011

I went to IKEA with Tim, Amy..... Very fun talking to them in the car!
ah, and not forgetting Ling too. Yes, he tagged along.
Tim and Amy treated me lunch of IKEA MEATBALLS AND DAIM CAKE!!!

The stupid part of the day, I pranked the wrong person until the whole Miri family clan were extremely pissed off. LOL. If you want to know what's the story about, ask me personally. LOL. I hope they don't read my blog though. Or else they say I'm not repenting from my pranking sins. :P

That's about it! :)

Thank You Lord for the great and awesome people that You've put in my life!

Bless them abundantly!

-I shall post photos the next round-

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Pre Wedding : Converse in Love

I name this post Converse in Love,
in a tribute to their matching clothes, especially shoes!
This is my first time shooting a couple, not only that they were wearing CONVERSE SNEAKERS!
So yes, Cute isn't it? Converse in Love.
Which also means, being in love/speaking of love/speak in love etc etc.
Here you go, here's a post of my journey of a voluntary mission which turns blessed!

Pre-wedding Sneaker-Peeker

I tell you, they are fun!

the attempt of her carrying him.
Mission failed. HAHAAHAHAA.
You should have seen him!!! He really did jumped on her back. HAHAHAHAHA..

Nick shot from another angle, I tried this one. :)

of all, this is my favourite, coz of their emotions!


Aren't they awesome?? The couple, I mean! Hahahaha..
I shall present to you Julia and Handoko! :D
going to be married in June, i think,

ps: Dont you think she looks like Agnes Monica? HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Day 3


3 more days.

DAY 4 was fun! :D

yesterday was the first time I shot alongside Nick for a pre-wedding shooting. On top of that, that's my first time shooting a couple since 2007 AAAANNNDDDD that's my first time shooting an international couple! They are from Indonesia. :D Handoko & his lovely lovely fiance, Julia! :) They are really awesome. AANNNNNNNDDDD that's my first time DRIVING TO AND FRO Melaka-KL! OMGGGG.... so tiring!!!!

I really am blessed by the couple ba... really nice couple!!!!

Wanna know their story in short?

Hans said "Well, for 2 years I've been with her, she changed me. I change her. for the better, characters, I mean and that's how I know she's the one.." and Julia said something like "for 2 years, we've been through a lot, we worked it out, we've been better and that's how I know."


Here you go Hans and Julia, your love story, that has blessed me. :) May the good Lord blesses you in your marriage. :) Keep growing in Him and bless others as how you have blessed me! :)


I don't know what I want for birthday, I just want homecook meals. :( I'm sad. I want homecook food.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Spelling Out Life... With 8 days

Can I have a Bro's 600ml or 500ml water bottle for a birthday gift? Hahahahaha. I don't have a decent water bottle since 2008. LOL. So I'd so the very appreciate it if I have one? LOLLL... :D

What do I want for birthday, for real?
1. Friends to celebrate it with.
2. To be able to spend time with a family.
3. To have a key pendant! (I just found out that people give keys to the person who is celebrating 21st birthday and I find it cool. I'm suddenly excited for it! LOL.)
4. To have a green tea cheese birthday cake. which I find it hard to find.. :(
5. go SS2 Murni and try their spaghetti meatball!!!!!! :DDD

I just realized all I need is people and food to make me happy. :) Nothing big.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! yesterday was awesomely memorable but soul-shooting at the same time. :) Thank God for it.


I'm going to be bolder now. Amen.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with 10.5 Days

Malaysians are born extremely smart but raised with stupidity under the government's ruling.

Oh, the best part, the government wants all to be dumb followers with all the restricting rules here and there but still smart enough to make the country move 1 step ahead instead of 100steps ahead.

At one point, I've been having visions of this country not in a good shape, and yes, I've already foreseen the country is under his ruling, just waiting for the day for her to burn. figuratively of course.

Thank you, country. :)

Spelling Out Life... with 10 Days

Day 10-more-to-go

God says to me "not all bad things that happened bring more harm instead it will cause you to pray more and seek Me more."

So it's pretty obvious how my maths is terrible, I can't even count my own countdown. HAHAHA.

All Glory to Him in the highest.

I pray that all you who read will be blessed. (NOT CAUSE OF MY FAILING MATHS)

"The Lord wants your heart. He wants to bless you with an everlasting joy, peace, security and love in Him. He loves you more than anyone could possibly imagine! He made you to bless your family, friends and me! He made you live this far to let you know that He is in control, He never fails. He may answer certain issues rather slow but it is never too late. He is molding everyone, including you! yes you! to work in His kingdom. What joy or peace can the world possibly give or even last for that matters, if you still feel empty in the inside after seeking for so long? None can compare to His own Spirit to dwell in you! You are His child and You always will... But, to know Him is to accept his only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, into your life as your personal Lord and Savior. He is the way, the truth and the life, no one can go through the father unless through Him. :) Don't take too long to justify your reasons for not having Him this soon. This prize is too big to be justified to begin with anyway! :) I know this sounds to religion-ish, but I once had the same thought too but God changed my mind when I began to take the leap of faith! :) Live because He first live! :)"

I love you! :)