Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with Mirror Her

She becomes your expectation when you least know it
She becomes your doll when you want it to be
She becomes your life when you subtly feed it

She becomes less of her mind when she finally realized it too late.
She becomes less of her soul when she finally found her mind
She becomes less of her heart when she finally found her soul
She becomes less of nothingness when she finally found her heart left

She yearns to be what you want her to be, 
yet it seems like she's retaliating.
She yearns to strive her inner beauty,
yet it is against time, when time is not yet there.
She yearns to build her self again,
yet it seems like she was never up all along.
She yearns to be independent and strong,
yet it seems like she was not meant to be.
She yearns to love herself and others,
yet it seems like she had no love to begin with.

Dear you, 
She's retaliating because you want her to be your expectation.
She's retaliating because experiences will nurture her, not you.
She's retaliating because she wants herself back, not the image you want of her.
She's retaliating because she knows she is perfect, but not in your time.
She's retaliating because that love she had was scarred deep inside, not because she had none.

She is building herself now but you need to find yourself too, 
because she sees that you are exactly her.

Spelling Out Life... with Cataclysm

When you were standing in the wake of devastation 

When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown 

With the cataclysm raining down

Your insides crying, "Save me now" 

You were there, impossibly alone. 
- Irisdescent

yes, I am possibly alone and I need His saving hands. sigh

Spelling Out Life... with Not-So-Positive Mind

Lately with what is going on in my family and relationship, I start to see things in a mundane-lifeless way... I have not been feeding myself with truth and words of encouragement but I gave myself hard-aching lies that sips out the joy in me. I know God is good but I lose heart. I lose heart. It's easy to be in that position, u see, u just need to stay away from the Word for a day or two, pick quarrels with someone you love once or twice, say "i'm okay" everyday, be alone and online for almost all the time, isolate yourself on and off, and VOILA, you just got your heart lost! sigh.

Oh Lord, Lord, teach me words of life once again that I may worship You again and bless others with it. I've been nothing but "I Dont Know" or "I cant". teach me to stop being useless and give me the heart to grow again. I'm tired and lost.