Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with "I'm Fine"

I welcome you in the name of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.
:)


Right now, the term "I'm Fine" is just meaningless to me. I'm just stress over things back at home. I just want to ignore everything and yet it's just there. It's just there and I don't know how to go about it.

He gives me the positions that I'm now in and I'm really waiting for the moment when He can take me away from it all, I'm grateful but I'm really tired and burnt out. I really am, Lord.

"just a while more."

Spelling Out Life... with tired

i'm burnt out. 4th week and burnt out.

I really want to quit everything.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with anger

T.T

I'm angry la. I've been crying inside for hours and hours. Lord, let me hold my words and say good things. Let me not bring someone down with me. :'(

Lord, I want to go out of campus. I'm stress. Please tell me I can take things day by day and there's no rush. :) Please Lord, remind me to have joy in you today.

Your mercy is new everyday. Remind me oh Lord.

Spelling Out Life... with JAKSA 2011/2012 no.2

I miss all the meetings actually. :p

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with ANNOYANCE

I find my junior is getting on my nerves.

I know I'm an annoying person up front but she deliberately annoys me cause I told her off about her character few days ago. Now, for payback, she finds every loophole that I do and put shits in it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cuba ka take it in like an adult kalau orang tegur. Ni tidak, makin lagi make things worst. I feel like screaming at her!

TAU YEN!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with Emo Period

I'm stressing out over unnecessary issue. Why? I haven't gotten my period for a long long time now. AND NO, it has nothing to do with me being pregnant!

And guess what, I just found out I was born alongside a frigging tumor in the womb! LOL... I think I'll be dead in my mum's womb if my body isn't strong. Hah! Thank GOD!!!! LOL..

so yes, at the end of the day, I inherited my mum's period and I'll be having it until I get my menopause. T.T Sad ba... on top of being less emotional to people around me, people will surely think I have sex just cause I have a boyfriend hence, the no-period thing. T.T I shall gladly say no to that assumption, for I respect our Lord's command of no sex before marriage. the end to that. BUT, I'M STILL SAD COZ I INHERITED MY MUM'S PERIOD....... I was growing alongside a frigging tumor for 9 months!!!!!! wth. you see, if she has it, most likely I'll face the same thing! AND she got operated a month just to remove the tumor after i was born! I wasn't a breast-milked kid! you see! T.T


SOOOOOO SADD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I feel like a retard. an emotional retard that doesn't have any hormone in her ovaries. T.T


SOOOOOOOO SAD!!!


i wanna cry.


:(


DADDY God, whatever it is, please make cycle normal? thanks. :( I emo dy... :(

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with Bible Class

I went to Epiphany Class last Sunday. Banyak la saya belajar, pasal Epiphany is actually a sudden realization thing that you experience--- for instance: "BINGO!" or "AHA!" or "NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE"

My teacher -- Mama Judith, an ex atheist-buddhist-freethinker-hindust-pagan, taught us about the birth of Jesus Christ as an epiphany to the whole universe and yea, one thing I brought back was "Those who met Jesus or even heard of Jesus, even at his infant age, their lives are never the same again!"


Kan?


Do u notice that?

There's a group that denies His existence, another group that accepts His existence, another group that deny His teaching, another group that couldn't be bother about this man called Jesus Christ, which is the way, the truth and the Life!

Even the Magi HAD to use another way back to their country after they met Jesus! How awesome is that? Another way! They didn't go back the same way, why is that? The LORD spoke to them and had them trusting Him to carry them back to where they are supposed to share about the kid Jesus! Hah! Cool, isn't it?


OHHHH... one thing I learnt as well, THE MAGI DIDN'T COME TO VISIT JESUS WHEN MARY GAVE BIRTH. hahahahahahahahaahhaha... all those years, watching the christmas plays, i feel so cheated. ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha...



1 resolution down. :D

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Spelling Out Life... with Zumba Fitness!


Alyssa brought her Zumba Fitness party for me to try out. HAHA

and guess what, after 45mins, I looked like someone who came out of a pool!

AND the funniest part, David Leong and I had the first 10mins session together. LAWAK TO THE MAXX!!! hahahahahaahah....

it was a damn good workout! Perhaps, I should I do it again on Monday to release stress! Hahaha..


:P


- typing this is beginning to be hard as my abs, obliques are starting to be in pain!!!!!!!!! omgggggggg..... hahahahahahahaha


-first time Zumba-ing and I'm at awe how far I went! hahahaahahahahaah

Spelling Out Life... with serving

I think I want to be a sunday school teacher this year.

Spelling Out Life... with a ring

I could choose.
I have known him.
and I always love.
or not.
anyhow you may perceive it.


A.
I love you for so many reasons.
yet I see you getting further now.

B.
I love you for an unknown reason.
yet I see it in your eyes too. Incomplete.

C.
I love you for both unknown yet many reasons.
yet I am to believe in it.



When it finally rings,
which will you answer to?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with home

i want to go home.




I can't sleep after a whole day singing songs in CEO Neway in Fahrenheit88 in Bukit Bintang area. I miss flying back "home". I just miss the idea of going back to my hometown. sigh.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Working Alone

I guess working without your friends does make everything different.. :) But nonetheless, God has been blessing me with my colleagues. :) They have been blessing me with food everyday!!! :D My manager does give me the creep sometimes though... Is that the typical manager style, oh people who works? Hmmm.. HAHAHAHA...


K.. K.. Thank You LORD for the awesome past weeks.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Better self

meh.
I'm okay now. I just need to sleep cause I haven't gotten a full cycle lately. LOL. Never mess with Joy's sleep or she'll crack after a few days. hahahahaha..

Kk. I'm okay now. LOL. I'll continue writing my JAKSA letters tomorrow. I want to sleep because I need to send in the paperwork tomorrow. I wonder how do Prime Minister sleeps at night... He has the whole country to think through. What about me? A big-sized yet tiny role of a student leader that doesn't know how to carry herself even with little responsibilities.

Sigh. Nonetheless, I'm thankful for being able to be in the room now. Lying on the floor amongst the mess and in the dark is just pure bliss.


Thank You Lord for the responsibilities. These are Your ministries and I shall run them diligently with Your strength.. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Fats

I'm big fat and huge. thank you.

aside from that thought being fed in my head. I'm frigging stress out over JAKSA. I want to cry. I know I have to learn to handle management, be more frigging organized and be frigging ready for things, but right now I feel so inadequate. I FEEL SO #@%q#@%#@% pissed at myself for not being able to train my brains to take things lightly and enjoy the whole @#%$#@ process. I'm pissed at myself for not being #@$@#%#% organized and slow. I'm picking things up slowly. I suck.

I want to eat all those slimming pills and be uber skinny like everyone else. At the end of the day, looks carry yourself further in the world.

#$$#@@%#$%!@#$!@#@%$#@%$
@#$@#$@#%#%@#$

i'm just stupid. fat. ugly. really dumb.

I just want to be alone. screw you.

i'm pissed.

i'm never good enough for you.

$#@^%^*^&(&!@#

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i'll be fine. I'm just pissed off at myself for JAKSA's stuff.
responsibility is never fun. #@$%!@ IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'M STRESS. thank you.

i really feel so #@%$^@^3 up!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Sarawak State Election

Taib won the round. im bummed out. damn sad.

RETIRE. PLEASE.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with More Responsibilities

Matthew 25:14-30 (New Living Translation)

Parable of the Three Servants
14 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. 15 He gave five bags of silver[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

16 “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. 17 The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. 18 But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. 20 The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’

21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together![b]

22 “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’

23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

24 “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. 25 I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’

26 “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, 27 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’

28 “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. 29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 30 Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’





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at times like this, somehow I know that God teaching me a lot of new responsibilities for my future growth. I know not what are they for but for now, I'm taking the role of leadership and teaching.

As the new semester takes place in September, 2 new responsibilities are added in, compared to last year. I honestly do not know how I'll handle my time and my mind. Time management is not my forte but I guess I have to learn to separate what's important and what's not.

Lord Lord, all that I ask for is Your only Hand to carry me through.

I believe that all the work that You've given me is a blessing instead of burden.

In jesus name, I can do all these.

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB AJK 2011/2012

Use me Lord according to Your will.

I know nothing but I want You to bring me far

Spelling Out Life... with Pastoral Care

Lately, I've been speaking to 3 different characters: a Pastor, Pastor's wife and Pastor's kid.

One thing I find them in common, they suffer emotional and mental struggle, so bad.

Pastors have so many things to handle.
Pastors welfare are not taken care of.
Pastors have to listen for people's struggles and zip in their own struggles.

Pastors' wives have to abandon luxury treatment.
Pastors' wives have to deal with husbands' and childrens' welfare.
Pastors' wives have to die to themselves and serve everyone in the church too.

Pastors' kids have to deal with putting up a good front ALL the time.
Pastors' kids have no attention from fathers.
Pastors' kids have to depend on their siblings for family support.



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hmm... God, You are teaching me about HUMILITY, aren't you? My time is nearing when He puts me there in the pedestal pedal, soon.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with misses


LOL. Don't laugh or grin. I know some of you would. :D



Thursday, March 31, 2011

Spelling Out Life... with Banning dances

after reading from here:


I think religious leaders in Malaysia should have a monthly gathering just to clear the air on what is good for the Muslims to do and what cant be done. It's rather embarrassing if extremists are on the bar of unity-hatred box.

Chill.

Poco-poco is not written in the Bible.

So before you extremists start to ban everything and make every Malays be pissed at the Christians for all these banning processes, please, I beg you to READ the Bible! PLEASE! Before you start to pass stupid irrelevant judgement on the Christians, please read the Bible. Google it in Bible.com or Biblegateaway.com.

Funny stuff. Indeed. :)