Spelling Out Life... with Broken Puzzles

"Tikkun olam.”


Exactly. Basically, it says that the world has been broken into pieces. All this chaos, all this discord. And our job - everyone’s job - is to try to put the pieces back together. To make things whole again.”


And you believe that?”


I guess I do. I mean, I don’t know how the world broke. And I don’t know if there’s a God who can help us fix it. But the fact that the world is broken - I absolutely believe that. Just look around us. Every minute - every single second - there are a million things you could be thinking about. A million things you could be worrying about. Our world - don’t you feel we’re becoming more and more fragmented? I used to think that when I got older, the world would make so much more sense. But you know what? The older I get, the more confusing it is to me. The more complicated it is. Harder. You’d think we’d be getting better at it. But there’s just more and more chaos. The pieces - they’re everywhere. And nobody knows what to do about it. I find myself grasping, Nick. You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not only because it’s right, but because it will mean that such a thing is still possible? I want to believe in that.”


Do you really think it’s getting worse? I mean, aren’t we better off than we were twenty years ago? Or a hundred?”


We’re better off. But I don’t know if the world’s better off. I don’t know if the two are the same thing.”


You’re right.”


Excuse me?”


I said, ‘You’re right.’”


But nobody ever says, ‘You’re right.’ Just like that.”


Really?”


Really.”


…Then it hits me.


Maybe we’re the pieces,”


What?”


Maybe that’s it. With what you were talking about before. The world being broken. Maybe it isn’t that we’re supposed to find the pieces and put them back together. Maybe we’re the pieces. Maybe, what we’re supposed to do is come together. That’s how we stop the breaking.”


"Tikkun olam."

— David Levithan (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist)

As I read this quote from another writer's blog, i just knew deep inside each one of us is a puzzle piece specially made to complete one amazing picture, that one beautifully crafted artwork made by God Himself.. It may take up a whole generation or more even to form something visible for all to make sense of out of, it may even need millions of years just to justify all the never-ending questions of the infamous Wh- whys, where, hows etc, but of course, it all strips down to a single unit that makes all the other units running, which is you and I.


Sigh.


If there is that one moment in my life, or maybe uncountable moments, that I ever felt anything less worthy of God or myself (in which of course I always do in teeming times), I guess I just need to suck in my utter stupidity and utmost foolishness and just begin to believe in that slightest hope of me being on earth does make a difference in the eyes of God... and you know what, by solely believing in that alone, it does make my puzzle piece connects to others' pieces and somehow complete this fool's flustering thoughts. :)


AH.


I'm leaving to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow morning and I wonder if my presence in Miri for the past few days make a difference in somebody's life. One thing for sure, all the conversation I had these couple weeks made me learn a lot more about myself than before... There goes all the puzzle pieces huh. :)



It's pitter-patterly raining outside... I'm still yet awake. to see another new adventure evolves itself in the daylight to come and the days to arrive...



I just hope I'll make it to Melaka for Christmas this year. God, I'm poor. I don't have anyone to celebrate my 2010 Christmas with this year if I don't make it for Melaka. :) Rejoice. what a hard word to swallow in right now.


Rejoice and the whole world rejoice with you.


amen.


Lord, I don't want huge presents but I just want enough cash to carry me until next year. Sigh. Is there anyone wanna bank in some money for me? LOL. I WISH.