Spelling out Life... with Annoyance

Dear Lord,
teach me to be patient with thy servants.
teach me to love my neighbours, you know who is that specifically.
I hav 1 semester to grow out of this.
Please mold my character throughout this semester.
Let me be like You.
Let me grow more like YOU.
Please.


Key survival for Joy's 2nd Year 1st Sem:
Patience
Joy
Lovingkindness
Wisdom
Grace
Faithfulness
Love
Peace.
Goodness





I need them, Lord. Be present in my room.
I need YOU to be present in my room.
Coz honestly I'm trying hard here,
But I need Your strength to carry me through this sem.
First time I encounter such trial,
It's not fun ba God... Really.

I wanna cry when she's around.
She's nice as a whole outside but totally a different person in the room.
that is something new to me. I love her I do, but her character is challenging my way of thinking.
Why can't she just be nice once in awhile and talk in the room?
Sigh.
I'm going to live with her for the next one semester,
I don't mind, I love the fact I have someone to live with.
But most of the times, I feel constraint in my own home. I honestly do.
I'm thinking of quiting our CF too. I can't afford to have a grudge while worshipping You.
I don't want a queen treatment, I don't need much attention,
but a lil "Hie, how are you?" won't kill her, would it?
Giving is what I'm learning this sem, because of her.
it's a good practice. but it's depressing type of giving.
I'm giving so that she will have a happier life this sem,
but apparently it still doesn't work.
But God, if it's pleasing to You, please tell me?
please.

change to make the peace.
I know.
I'm changing myself: loud outside to quiet outside, attention outside to cold treatment inside,
CHANGING. but it's making me sad. :(
It's hard.
Seriously God.
HARD.
i need your help God.
Carry me through.
I wanna cry everyday I get in the room.
It's like an atom full of negative aura.
LOL,
but sad la god. you know how i feel.
please let her speak to me kindly or at least happily everyday.
that's all.
a happy tone Hie would be enough.
haih. haih. haih.