Spelling out Life... with Lost

im at a lost phase.
im at a phase where I wanna do everything
I do not know where my commitments are.
I do know I just wanna serve as wherever I am at.
I'm just lost.

Dear Lord, what is it there for me to do now? what is it.

Spelling out Life... with Patience

Okay. Swallow my pride.

Dear Lord, I ask of You to just continue to carry me through.

Debate tournament is tonight.

Give me the wisdom to grow in love and in patient.

Give me the heart to live it out for you.

I'm sorry for the previous post.

I know You chose me to be a jaksa for a reason.

I know I have to learn the hard way to grow out of something.

Let me draw close to you, even in the midst of anger.

I have to control my temper. I have to forgive.

I'm sorry Lord Jesus. Teach me to be more like you.

Day by day.



1 Cor 13:3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.









HAIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHH...

Thank You Lord for opening my eyes to not just see beyond the problems. Teach me to love my felos and colleagues. I want to grow more like you, like love. Love is patient. Haih. This is the area I'm supposed to go through huh, God? I bet it is.





Well, bout Cedric. It has been a couple of days since I've not chatted with him? I think it was a couple of few days. LOL. I'm kinda starting to get awkward now, not hearing from him but knowing(in a good way) that he's busy with studies. I having nothing against him with studies, fyi. Dear Lord, remind me to be patient, not self-seeking, kind, not easily angered, not rude, not boastful, persevere, grateful, not keeping records of wrong... Teach me to be submissive to You, instead of wanting things to go my way. Haih. Thank You for showing me the light and grace every seconds of the day.. In Jesus' name, Amen.


:)

thank You for calming my anger too.
thank You for taking away those anger.
thank You for letting me know that I'm able to do this.
thank You for the encouragements from friends
thank You for the faith.
thank You for the grace.

THank You Lord Jesus.

Spelling out Life... with Roommate 2.

We had kittens in our room the other day.
I screamed coz I was shocked.
She laughed and laughed.
It was epic.

me "THERE'S A KITTEN IN OUR ROOM!!!!!!!! *SCREAM* THERE'S A BABY MIAO!"
She "HAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAH"


funny. heh.

Spelling out Life... with Moving

i'm going to make another decision soon.
going to move.
is this another phase?
cause I do not know where I'm heading

Spelling out Life... with Death

lately, I've been thinking bout death.
How I'd die in a car crash.
and how struggling it is to not be drown by my old blood.
How I'm fighting for air yet the blood keeps on flowing in, like water.


I don't recall bout the pain
But I recall bout the legacy I will leave.
But do I actually have a legacy to leave here on earth?


As the memories keep on flashing in my mind
I see the people I've served in UKM, UiTM, Miri, SMK Chung Hua Miri etc.
I see the faces of these people and I see their smiles.
I see the little things I did.
I see only the little things, but did they bring any impact to those who smiled back at me?
Did they?







I don't know why has it been almost a month I've been thinking bout death?
Seriously. Not funny. hahahaahahahahahaha.. I think Liza is bored of me asking her "If I die kan Liza, will you be sad and cry?" HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. *lame, i know* u know what her replies would be "ih, I'm not gonna answer that. stupid question. of coz la sad, calie you. gai you." hahahahahahahaahahahahahahah








sigh. tired now. real tired.

Spelling out Life... with Roommate

I find this couple of weeks had been better. :)
She and I ate dinner a couple of times,
we talked and joked lately.


THANK YOU LORD. :)
Continue to draw us together.
Amen.

Spelling out Life... with Sickness

I'm down with a flu n cough now.

Ate medicine and woke up 3 hours later.
not a fun thing to do.
i nearly fainted when i went to wash my face. LOL.
I was quiet in PERKEB too.
REALLY QUIET.
I can't seem to bother to open my mouth and speak.
I'm just too consumed with the medicine.
I'm tired.

lol.



nite.
xoxo,

Spelling out Life... with Better Relationship

Just hours after my previous post, my roommate asked me out for dinner!
LOL.
I really thank God for the action. :)
Thank You Lord.

Continue to draw us closer to one another.




xoxo.

Spelling out Life... with Annoyance

Dear Lord,
teach me to be patient with thy servants.
teach me to love my neighbours, you know who is that specifically.
I hav 1 semester to grow out of this.
Please mold my character throughout this semester.
Let me be like You.
Let me grow more like YOU.
Please.


Key survival for Joy's 2nd Year 1st Sem:
Patience
Joy
Lovingkindness
Wisdom
Grace
Faithfulness
Love
Peace.
Goodness





I need them, Lord. Be present in my room.
I need YOU to be present in my room.
Coz honestly I'm trying hard here,
But I need Your strength to carry me through this sem.
First time I encounter such trial,
It's not fun ba God... Really.

I wanna cry when she's around.
She's nice as a whole outside but totally a different person in the room.
that is something new to me. I love her I do, but her character is challenging my way of thinking.
Why can't she just be nice once in awhile and talk in the room?
Sigh.
I'm going to live with her for the next one semester,
I don't mind, I love the fact I have someone to live with.
But most of the times, I feel constraint in my own home. I honestly do.
I'm thinking of quiting our CF too. I can't afford to have a grudge while worshipping You.
I don't want a queen treatment, I don't need much attention,
but a lil "Hie, how are you?" won't kill her, would it?
Giving is what I'm learning this sem, because of her.
it's a good practice. but it's depressing type of giving.
I'm giving so that she will have a happier life this sem,
but apparently it still doesn't work.
But God, if it's pleasing to You, please tell me?
please.

change to make the peace.
I know.
I'm changing myself: loud outside to quiet outside, attention outside to cold treatment inside,
CHANGING. but it's making me sad. :(
It's hard.
Seriously God.
HARD.
i need your help God.
Carry me through.
I wanna cry everyday I get in the room.
It's like an atom full of negative aura.
LOL,
but sad la god. you know how i feel.
please let her speak to me kindly or at least happily everyday.
that's all.
a happy tone Hie would be enough.
haih. haih. haih.

Spelling out Life... with Inter-College English Debate 2010

Just as some of you had known,
my College's junior debaters had won the Inter-College English Debate 2010!
Thank You Lord! :)

*best part, our friends from KDO won 2nd!!! How cool was that?! I LOVE THE KDO PEOPLE! ahahaha*

Preparing them for a month or less than that was tiring, fun and slightly annoying! LOL. *we can't expect oh-so-fun-and-joy the whole time, can we?* From calling them to arranging rooms etc etc is a tiring job but HECK, IT WAS WORTH IT! They were awesome! :) Even if they didn't win anything, I'd still be proud of EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! :) *hugs*

So yea, here's the photos of us and the KDO junior debaters!

*pocoyo!*

:)

It was a memorable time.

They are now my debate family.

and yes, they are awesome bunch of people

:)

best remarks:

Do you want the kids to rape each another? -Alicia, KDO

HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH

Spelling out Life... with misses

Hah.
that loser ced is not online.
i know he's busy in settling everything down.
man, i guess this is how he feels when i rarely reply him
hahahaahahahahaahaha.
babi him.
i miss him.
why is the world so huge and cause different time zone.
i miss that guy, that boy.
LOL.
oh, thank goodness there's a senior of mine is keeping me occupied
his name is greg, a nice guy.
i told him bout ced.
but i want to talk to ced more.
gonna wait for him to email me.
but can you just please be fast?
LOL.
kamu ni kan, cuba ckp hie ka.
but i doubt u have the time to go online.
LOL
sabar jak la.
ranting here is all i can do for now.
LOLLLL..

saydrik. oh saydrik. di manakah dikau?
hahhaahahahahahahaahhaahahahaahahahaha..
it has been day 2, he has been in States.
i'm okay with him being away coz 3 years are not long.
not when im busy with studies, college and everything else.
but now, i miss talking to him.
babi ba him.
bumbumbumBOOOOOOBOOOOBOOOOOO.
okay. im not making any sense.
i just need to clear my head.
i have quiz tomoro, i know wat to do, im just clearing my head for 15mins.
LOL.
do you know that ppl's studying span is 45mins only? and then u gotta do something else to clear off n then continue again. BAH!

k la. study time. LOL


xoxo,
rindu sama kamu.

Spelling out Life... with New Hair Product

I'm testing my hair on this new buble hair dye thingy. I picked on Mocha Orange for no specific reason... LOL! So, yea. will post up the result soon! :D

Spelling out Life... with SIGHS

i'm just a lil down?
Yea.
He's leaving in 14hours time?
Yea.
I'm just down. sigh.
standing against time.
sigh.
not feelings of fear, if you ask me.
just sad that he's not around that often.. :)
K la, that's all.
nite.
nite.
sad.

Spelling out Life... with Change

C.H.A.N.G.E

Changing

Here

And

Now:

Great

Evangelism

That just come into mind. LOL.

have a great day people!

:)

Spelling out Life... with Happiness

Lol.



I'm happy now!



:)





10things to be thankful for?



1. Through Jesus, I'm able to have the courage to speak nicely to my family and I LOVE THEM now and forever! Never knew I could feel that way after few years of grudges. LOL..



2. Through Him, I'm living a life that is full of correction yet full of love! Nothing can beat that!



3. Through Him, I'm able to bless my juniors in my colleges with whatever I have. Debate! Debate! Debate! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhaaa.. May God bless each one of them! They are awesome bunch of FRIENDS!





4. Through Him, I'm able to write this! Lol.





5. Through Him, I'm able to run activities in my college smoothly and with grace! Who knew I'm still sane after a month of running here and there! LOL~





6. Through Him, my relationship with Cedric is growing. It may be at a SUPER EXTREMELY SLOWWWWWWWWWW pace, I know I'm growing with Ced, either personally growing and growing as a couple. :) God bless his love for me. :)





7. Through Him, my days are really meaningful and crazy! :) Day by day, He continuously show me grace and mercy and LOVE and and and FAITHFULNESS!!!! Imagine, He blessed me with finance even when I didnt ask for it! LOLL~~~





8. Through Him, my sucky unavoidable situation becomes bearable daily. LOL. Seriously! Life is challenging weiiii~~ I have a friend who is not a friend now and that sucks but He is giving me the joy to go through it! With His strength, I AM ABLE. :)





9. Through Him, I have AWESOME friends and leaders to watch over me! Just when I thought I wanted to be alone, He brings me fellowship that builds me up! :D





10. Through Him, I live because He lives. :)







xoxo,

thank you daddy God! you're the BEST Dad anyone can ask for. Love your daughter!

Spelling out Life... with Pornography

Let's watch one!

.

.

.

.

.

.

No Kidding!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Seriously?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Maybe...

*gasp*

Perhaps that is what we youth people always go through nowadays, where we are encouraged to explore sexual thoughts and sexual being, behind close doors or so. For most, "it's okay" but not knowing that you are on your way to self-condemnation at later years. It may not be easy with our hormones at its raging stage etc, however, it's a choice you want to make la. I'm not here to condemn you and all.

Want to know why? I've been there and sometimes i do fall into this temptation, in which I'm not proud of. I'm still learning from Jesus who is perfecting my will of resisting to porn and all. To be honest, before I knew Jesus, my life was just pretty much boring and meaningless. I turned to pornography when I was just 11? It got stuck to me for a few long years... TRUE! Those images haunt me so bad until they carried me far far far away from a life that Jesus had promised me. Those images haunt me and made me do things that is associated to it. I was being such stupid and shallow and indeed, dirty in mental-emotional wise. Ever since God showed me great love and more love through my Christian friends and leaders from church, I realized "hey! there's so much more to life than just porn/masturbation/sex!". And no, I've not sexed with anyone *thank God for that.. feeuuhh! * But, now that He's slowly molding me according to His ways, I can honestly and proudly say here in my world of blog life, I learnt to let go of pornography bit by bit, since the day I surrendered my life to He who made me in His love. I learnt to accept myself and learnt to love&respect opposite genders as brothers too! :) With Christ in my life, I learnt to love Him and love&live life more, and that, my friend, taught me to let go of pornography... :) It's not easy! It certainly not! Come on, its like smoking cigarette! How would you feel of changing after 6-7years of addiction! LOL... I can assure you that, but He never fails to lift my spirit up and encourage me through friends! He continuously shaped me by changing my mind and way of perceiving things etc...Gosh, those ENDLESS LOVE and PATIENT! Those are the best gift you can have from having Jesus in your life, period! Who on earth can love you more when you continously fail that person?? None but Jesus. "For God so LOVE the earth that He sent His one and only Son Jesus, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have ETERNAL LIFE" So yea, I can assure to you that I am still a sinner that is living in this world but I have assurance that every single day of my life, He's perfecting me to be like Him with His Spirit, despite of my daily failures. LOL.. What an awesome God I'm serving huh? :)

They say, YOU BECOME WHAT YOU SERVE and again, I'm proud to say, I love serving and loving the living God Jesus that made me great in ways that noone will ever see, even before I was created... :) I know I've changed completely because of Him and am still changing and I'm loving every moment of it!

ps: I know this is pretty much shameful thing to share on a blog, but ah well, if Jesus forgave me long time ago, so what is so bad about it? He carried me through. Being transparent to people around my new me is better than to hide my walk with Him...

OH, here are some verses that I want to bless you with:

John 3:17--For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. :)

SO...

PORN ANYONE?

LOL!

Spelling out Life... with Sarawak's Minister

Freedom of speech in Malaysia overall is never a free one unless you are smart enough to cover your tracts. LOL. I find this site is very very very informative, I got to stumble upon this site the other day and I thought of sharing it to the world. :)

Click Here

There you go!

:)

I find many ministers cover their flow of cash with more lies than anyone can offer. That's the end of our country and I strongly pray that Malaysians are wise enough to urge ALL MINISTERS to reveal their spendings + wages to the public without COVERING anything.

At the end of the day, if we are true and just in our ways, we shouldn't be upset for being transparent, right? Since all the ministers are IN the ISA or MACC project, so I doubt it wouldn't be a problem right?

:)

Dear Lord, I pray that all corruptions will be revealed daily until the day where righteous leaders will stand up and be transparent in the eyes of the public and rule this country. I ask this so that Your Spirit will not depart from this country and that Your Glory will remain here. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Spelling out Life... with my sadness

sad. Ced is leaving.

Debate tourney is happening on that day. I'm cooking for a cooking show that night itself. and

Ced is leaving.

trying to not think much bout it. Daddy God will carry me through. :) sigh. still sad. i'm Joy, He'll bring me through.

Spelling out Life... with MTV Worldstage 2010

Just so you know, Liza and I went to the MTV Worldstage 2010 at Sunway Lagoon.
The whole day was hilarious in a way that God was being ultra cool to carry us through the whole day!

No Kiddin'!

Here's the story:

I woke up at around 10am with Liza freaking out coz we didn't book any rental car.
We made a few calls and we amazingly got a car. *God bless that man*

The problem (yes we did have a problem) was I had to drive there (NO that was not the problem) and I had no idea HOW. Thus, I made a call to Michelle Dee *God bless her!* and I asked for a direction while waiting for the car to be sent over. LOL. Once I got the brief idea, Liza however, came out with an idea of MAKING KATY PERRY's banner! Oh WOW! Right? I spent an hour doin our banner and decorating our shades!

HAHAHAHAHH!

Soon enough, it was coming towards 2pm and we had our banner and shades decorations done. We drove over to KTM area to get some chinese food and got some fuel at the petrol station.

I drove and drove and things gone OK until we got semi lost at Bandar Puchong area, i think. Hahahah.. We went to Petronas around the area *God bless Petronas workers* and they showed us the way to Puchong Toll which is (where I supposed to go) not far from the station! LOL. Off we go again and YES, I'm a proud first time driver to Sunway from UKM! hahahahahahahahhahahahaha

Once we arrived, we got a parking space in less than 10mins! How cool was thatt??

So yea, we put on our make up and TADAAAA! We looked rather ANGMO-ishh. hahahahahaahha.

*yes, we got interviewed by ASTRO Awani and a press came over to take our photos*

Overall, if the whole organizers cut down the times of waiting for performances, I'd love it so much. Ranking wise: 1. KP 2. Tokio Hotel 3. Bunkface 4. WONDERGIRLS.

kATy PerRy

Tokio Hotel!

Bunkface!

Wondergirls
*which I find they are only suitable for TV commercial instead*

We went back home smoothly, without being lost *a round of applause for me!*! hahahahaha..
and the best-weird part, the pak Guard didnt stop us. :D

Here are some pics to fill your hearts: <3>

It rained! :S

But! It didnt stop us from cheering for Katy Perry!

XOXO