Spelling Out Life... with Secretarial Works

Hahahahaha.. I think I can get used to this work!

I know earlier on I was ranting with so much burden but I think after that day, I had a good cry/complaint/release of tension, I'm back up on my feet again.

I thank Him for teaching me how to be more organized in my work. Thank Him for the strength and patience. :) Still learning the art of patience right now. :) Thank Him for molding me in that area.. :)

Lately, for a week i've not been sleeping well. I think i'm going to the clinic to give me the calming pills to make me sleep. I really am stressed out in a minor way.

Learning to cope up with it.

oh oh oh oh!!!!! Im so happy I finished all my work in time! :) And i'm proud that my works are settled even before the due date! I'm so proud of myself. hahaahahahahaa.. I'm gonna treat myself with ice cream this weekend. :)

For the first time in history, I've written more than 10letters in 3days. I never once written more than once in a long long long time... LOLLL

Spelling Out Life... with Better self

meh.

I'm okay now. I just need to sleep cause I haven't gotten a full cycle lately. LOL. Never mess with Joy's sleep or she'll crack after a few days. hahahahaha..

Kk. I'm okay now. LOL. I'll continue writing my JAKSA letters tomorrow. I want to sleep because I need to send in the paperwork tomorrow. I wonder how do Prime Minister sleeps at night... He has the whole country to think through. What about me? A big-sized yet tiny role of a student leader that doesn't know how to carry herself even with little responsibilities.

Sigh. Nonetheless, I'm thankful for being able to be in the room now. Lying on the floor amongst the mess and in the dark is just pure bliss.

Thank You Lord for the responsibilities. These are Your ministries and I shall run them diligently with Your strength.. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Responsibility

GOD,

I'M PISSED. SERIOUSLY ANNOYED.

DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I CAN DO THIS????!!!!!!!!!

I'M NOT GOOD IN ORGANIZING MY MIND, MY THOUGHTS AND SO MANY THINGS.

I SUCK IN BEING A SECRETARY!!!!!!!! I SUCK AT BEING SOMEBODY'S GIRLFRIEND.

I SUCK AT BEING SOMEBODY'S FRIEND. I SUCK AT KEEPING PROMISES. I SUCK AT RUNNING THINGS. I SUCK AT DOING SIMPLE THINGS. I SUCK IN HANDLING MY EMOTIONS. I SUCK AT TEACHING SOMEBODY. I SUCK AT SO MANY THINGS.

GOD,

DO YOU REALLY THINK I CAN DO THIS?????!!!!

I'M PISSED AT MYSELF. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS.

GOD,

PLEASE HELP.

"draw close to me and you'll find strength."

i'm sad, God. :'( I'm tired, God. I'm stressed, God. I'm honestly sad, God. Daddy, I'm sad. I really am sad. I'm stressed.

Spelling Out Life... with Fats

I'm big fat and huge. thank you.

aside from that thought being fed in my head. I'm frigging stress out over JAKSA. I want to cry. I know I have to learn to handle management, be more frigging organized and be frigging ready for things, but right now I feel so inadequate. I FEEL SO #@%q#@%#@% pissed at myself for not being able to train my brains to take things lightly and enjoy the whole @#%$#@ process. I'm pissed at myself for not being #@$@#%#% organized and slow. I'm picking things up slowly. I suck.

I want to eat all those slimming pills and be uber skinny like everyone else. At the end of the day, looks carry yourself further in the world.

#$$#@@%#$%!@#$!@#@%$#@%$

@#$@#$@#%#%@#$

i'm just stupid. fat. ugly. really dumb.

I just want to be alone. screw you.

i'm pissed.

i'm never good enough for you.

$#@^%^*^&(&!@#

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i'll be fine. I'm just pissed off at myself for JAKSA's stuff.

responsibility is never fun. #@$%!@ IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'M STRESS. thank you.

i really feel so #@%$^@^3 up!

Spelling Out Life... with Sarawak State Election

Taib won the round. im bummed out. damn sad.

RETIRE. PLEASE.

Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB Seniors

hah!

I'm emotional now. Period is here, what to do. Anyway, memandangkan saya tengah emotional, I shall post an emotional post. T.T (sedih sudah)

To all my seniors:

1. Su-Jian Koay:

You've been so great to me. Thank you for being cool when I nearly cried in the car. LOL. I'll never forget that part. (T.T) Thank you for the emotional and spiritual support the whole 2 years that I've known you. You're one awesome senior that cooks, counsels, jokes around, wise and protects. Always remember that you are AWWEEEESOOMMMEEEEEEE (barney, HIMYM).

2. Caroline Lee:

The senior of the same species, I look up to as a big sister... Thank you for your love, support, concern, lame jokes, weird driving, great laughter, hospitality and your prayer. You are one beautiful woman, a full grown woman who knows what she wants in life. Live up to your calling, kay. Because His work in you is still moving and working for the whole world to know Him.

3. Benjamin Chan:

A subtle character but a strong faith you have there. Thank you for blessing me with your listening ears, support, care, hospitality and love. I see that the Lord has been faithful to you, just speak forth of His grace and faithfulness to those who haven't heard Him. He will carry you through the words that He has prepared for them. Just know that He will finish what He has first called you to be.

4. Isabel Lo:

the woman with a knowledgeable mind and a loving heart. Thank you for your companionship and love throughout the whole 2 years of knowing you. I love our crazy and sad moments together. Thank you for supporting me emotionally with your mum's amazing story back in first year. Thank you for being just great in helping me building up the characters of the junior debaters. Thank you for being you when we're together. You are one beautiful character that He always use in the littlest thing you do. Be daring in being different, that's all that I can say. Just be daring.

5. Davin:

loud crazy one, hehe. Thank you for faithfully serving me when I first came to UKM, bringing me to church and all. Thank you for the heart-to-heart session in the van. that is priceless. You are priceless. continue to be faithful because you are meant to be one.

6. Evon:

lol. i doubt that you read this but i'm glad that you have blessed me with your funny comments about so many things! thank you for your love stories... heheehheheheeheh....

7. Danny:

orang lawak. hahaahahaha.. jum kita lagu HSM time karaoke lagi! hahaahahahahaahah.. thank you for always bringing out the life out of everyone! you are the joy of the place where He puts you to be.

8. Taiko:

You are one faithful character. Seek and you will find. Open up your heart and never doubt. A faithful man will just live by faith and know that he is in good hand. You have an abundant future, always believe in it. thank you for always being there for me. thank you for loving me as a sister. thank you for always lighten up my day with your random comments. :) Don't forget our pinky promise!!!!!

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to all the UKM seniors, thank you for your presence in my life. to the names I've not mentioned, I cant write more. Crying badly now. Thank you.

thank you.

I pray that the Good Lord will always break you and mold you and also discipline you and love you. I pray that He will strengthen you and give you all the wisdom that you need for your future undertakings. I pray that you continue to walk with Him and bless Him with whatever that He has given you. I love you guys with my heart and soul. You are my blessings. You are my treasures and I thank Him for all the moments we have had together. Thank You Lord Jesus for all the beautiful souls that You have blessed me.

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with More Responsibilities

Matthew 25:14-30 (New Living Translation)

Parable of the Three Servants

¹⁴ “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. ¹⁵ He gave five bags of silver^[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

¹⁶ “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. ¹⁷ The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. ¹⁸ But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

¹⁹ “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. ²⁰ The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’

²¹ “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!^[b]’

²² “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’

²³ “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

²⁴ “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. ²⁵ I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’

²⁶ “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, ²⁷ why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’

²⁸ “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. ²⁹ To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. ³⁰ Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

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at times like this, somehow I know that God teaching me a lot of new responsibilities for my future growth. I know not what are they for but for now, I'm taking the role of leadership and teaching.

As the new semester takes place in September, 2 new responsibilities are added in, compared to last year. I honestly do not know how I'll handle my time and my mind. Time management is not my forte but I guess I have to learn to separate what's important and what's not.

Lord Lord, all that I ask for is Your only Hand to carry me through.

I believe that all the work that You've given me is a blessing instead of burden.

In jesus name, I can do all these.

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB AJK 2011/2012

Use me Lord according to Your will.

I know nothing but I want You to bring me far

Spelling Out Life... with JAKSA 2011/2012

Hear ye! Hear ye!

I'm the Kolej Tun Hussein Onn Student Council for 2011/2012.

I'm the General Secretary for the coming academic calendar year.

I'm freaking out honestly. i NEVER once becoming a secretary before.

I'm honoured for given responsibilities but I'm scared.

Please be with me. Ask "How are you?" and listen to my cries when the semester starts in September k? That's all that I need. Pray for me too. I need all the emotional support. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Pastoral Care

Lately, I've been speaking to 3 different characters: a Pastor, Pastor's wife and Pastor's kid.

One thing I find them in common, they suffer emotional and mental struggle, so bad.

Pastors have so many things to handle.

Pastors welfare are not taken care of.

Pastors have to listen for people's struggles and zip in their own struggles.

Pastors' wives have to abandon luxury treatment.

Pastors' wives have to deal with husbands' and childrens' welfare.

Pastors' wives have to die to themselves and serve everyone in the church too.

Pastors' kids have to deal with putting up a good front ALL the time.

Pastors' kids have no attention from fathers.

Pastors' kids have to depend on their siblings for family support.

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hmm... God, You are teaching me about HUMILITY, aren't you? My time is nearing when He puts me there in the pedestal pedal, soon.

Spelling Out Life... with misses

LOL. Don't laugh or grin. I know some of you would. :D