Spelling Out Life... with Sands of Time

I had a poem written for literature class this week. It was supposed to be for Ipu Beridang, my great grandma who left us last November. But little that I know, her first daughter, Kerato Daring, aka my own grandma, left us last night at 11pm. It was shocking and I thought I could see her again alive on Saturday. I had it all planned out but I was wrong. I love you, Ipu.

Here goes:

Sands of time falls in arrear

Petals dance in tears

No sight of heaven here

nor the heart is a crown.

wait, I can hear the sand finally ceases now

rest for awhile,

I'll catch on. Don't you worry.

For the sun rises and falls,

and there's grace that calls.

Spelling Out Life... with "I'm Fine"

I welcome you in the name of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

:)

Right now, the term "I'm Fine" is just meaningless to me. I'm just stress over things back at home. I just want to ignore everything and yet it's just there. It's just there and I don't know how to go about it.

He gives me the positions that I'm now in and I'm really waiting for the moment when He can take me away from it all, I'm grateful but I'm really tired and burnt out. I really am, Lord.

"just a while more."

Spelling Out Life... with anything

I don't want to be anything.

I don't want to do anything.

I feel stupid and shallow.

One side I'm stamped as the lazy one.

One side I'm the not committed one.

God, I feel stupid for taking so many responsibilities. Seriously stupid. I don't know what am I doing lately. I just feel stupid

Spelling Out Life... with tired

i'm burnt out. 4th week and burnt out.

I really want to quit everything.

Spelling Out Life... with anger

T.T

I'm angry la. I've been crying inside for hours and hours. Lord, let me hold my words and say good things. Let me not bring someone down with me. :'(

Lord, I want to go out of campus. I'm stress. Please tell me I can take things day by day and there's no rush. :) Please Lord, remind me to have joy in you today.

Your mercy is new everyday. Remind me oh Lord.

Spelling Out Life... with JAKSA 2011/2012 no.2

I miss all the meetings actually. :p

Spelling Out Life... with stress

i'm stress coz of everything that I'm into now.

Lord, direct my mind to you because right now i'm honestly looking at those problems instead of you. teach me Lord to be strong.

I'm stress. :'(

him, parents, family, JAKSA, PERKEB and assignments are giving me this HUGE stress. :'(

I cannot do all these Lord. I cannot. :'(

Look unto the Lord for He is the source of strenght. He is the joy.

Spelling Out Life... with My 22nd Birthday

I receive you with love from the Lord Jesus Christ! :)

It was perfect I'd say.

:)

At midnight, Paul, Wai Wai, Jian, Alyssa, Grace, Ben, Rachel and Raymond surprised me from the room till Dataran Gemilang! I was caked = Floured, egg-ed, watered.

In the morning, my new friend Sathia gave me a flower as my birthday gift. I had lunch with my new friends, Nurul and Syalabiah.

At night, I got to spend time with Paul, Wai Wai, Alyssa, Grace, Rowen, Shellyn, Christina and David in TGIFriday's. :)

It was perfect. :)

Thank you Daddy God. :)

Spelling Out Life... with a step closer

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

I got the offer letter to the Kursus Kepimpinan Pelajar!

YEY!!!!

If you're wondering why it matters to me, let me tell you, IT IS! hahahaha!!!

If you're wondering what on earth is it, let me kindly tell you, it's a requirement for anyone who plans to run for campus election!!!!

YEYYYY!!!!!!

It'll be on Friday til Sunday noon!!! Yey! Yey! Yey! :D

I'm happy. :D My second pre-birthday gift from the Lord! :D

Spelling Out Life... with My 22nd!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

Ah!

We have come to the week of my last days of being 21! YEY! Initially, I wanted to go to Port dickson on Sunday and have picnic but I have the closing ceremony at 4 til 6pm. (T.T) That is a huge bummer.... sigh. I thought of planning to have a close family friends outing but the stupid closing ceremony is at stupid hours. (T.T) Well, If I can't get that at all, I just settle for makan. sad wei, dah la tak dapat go picnic, kasi gemuk diri sendiri lagi tu. HAHAHAAHAH... still sad coz my plan sucks and fails. now you know why i never plan 3months earlier or 3 weeks before an actual date! I guess, I just want a tub of green ice cream from Baskin Robbin, a large Matcha Red Bean from Chatime, makan dinner time with close friends and family with a tiny slice of Green Tea Cheese Cake. I cant wait to buy them on Sunday and make myself fat!!! hahahaahahahah!!! Nothing much that I want anymore, i LOVE GREEN TEA and RED BEAN, kidding, I have a great boyfriend who annoys me less by the day (yey for both!), great friends who takes care of me everyday, great parents that talk to me almost everyday and yea, a great God, Jesus Christ. :)

The road for the past year has been a tremendous ride for me and My Daddy God.

Jesus has taught me the meaning about serving the people, He has taught me the meaning about love and commitment, He has taught me the meaning about friendship and He has taught me how He is the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings.

I find that I've lived a great 361 days for the past one year. Through the breakdowns, I know Jesus was the one who picked me up, through the accomplishment, I know Jesus was the one who pushed me forward, through the stubbornness, I know Jesus was the one who taught me well.

Ahh!

How great is my God. =)

Lord,

this year,

I just pray that You'll continue to break my heart that breaks yours, let Your glory be seen through me, speak to me when I'm stubborn, teach me when I'm being a fool, walk with me throughout the year, give me wisdom in the way I speak, give me unending love so that Your love is seen, support me when I'm down, carry me when I'm tired, give me joy when I'm weary, give me peace when I'm shaken, strengthen me when I'm weak, open up opportunities for me to grow in any areas that need growth, open up opportunity for me to expand my horizon in education and politics, draw people of different lives to speak to me, bring me down when I forget your Grace, remind me when I forget that You are my Savior and lift me up like Prophet Nehemiah. Let this be a year of Nehemiah for me, Lord. A year of Abrahamic has past, let me plant and establish something new this year. I believe I have what it takes to go forth because You placed it there long before I have it, Lord. May Your will be done in my life as it is in Heaven. Amen.