Spelling Out Life... with Family

Everyone says family of the same blood watches out for you,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood takes care of you, rain or shine,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood supports you,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood loves you,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood builds you up,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood sticks together,

but i beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood is inseparable,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood grows together,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood spends time together,

but I beg to differ.

What do I agree in?

Family doesn't make up of the same bloodline. They don't. Family is made up from a group of individuals of different races, characters, looks, weights etc, that support, care, grow together, spend time together and love one another. That is what I call family. I realized I have more families than I could imagine and asked for, want to know why? My fellow bloodlines are strangers to me, literally. If I could name one disappointment in life, it would be having fellow bloodlines that doesn't care or love you as a person. They know your existence but they couldn't be bothered about your being. When you stick to them, care for them emotionally, spiritually and physically, in the end, what do you get? Not even one support. Not even one! Okay, maybe one or two supports, can't deny that. But when you are totally in need, they are gone. Like KAPPOOOOOSH! BAM! "I'M OUTTA HERE!" or "SEE YA, DON'T WANNA BE YA"

Therefore, I thank God for the families I have all around Malaysia. :) They have been nothing but nice to me and love me like their own. :) thank you from the deepest bit of my heart! :) If there's "World Family Day", I'd call each one of you just to say THANK YOU! :)

My mood now is disappointment.

Somehow, a friend of mine: Choudhry, comes in the picture right now, to remind me to let go. Though he doesn't know what I'm going through right now, I think God sends him to bless me with the song "Irisdescent" :) Wanna know what the lyric says?

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known.

Remember all the sadness and frustration,

And let it go,

Let it go."

:(

thank You LORD for always being here with me through different individuals... :) I shall be glad and know I'm loved by YOU, him and my other foster families.. :)

Spelling Out Life... with damn relationships

friendships are hard to keep. it's just a willing heart to go the distance to listen to the most shallow part of the other person's shallowest phase in life. that's all.

girl, it's okay. it's just a transition period. just love me as how you equally love those that are around you. I'm shallow. i know.

one thing after another. joy + relationships = never ending dramas. !@$!@#$%^@#~(%(*%^

friends after friends leaving.

but I wont, not on you.

again, I'm shallow. i'm sorry.

no, this post is not about him. the end.

Spelling Out Life... with Current Issues

If stamping on bible is a standard procedure,

by all means, stamp all the religious books in Malaysia.

Quran is just for the Muslims, the Tipitaka for the Buddhist, the Veda for the Hindus.

Fair isn't it?

What is a standard procedure to the govt. anyway?

Is it standard for Malaysians to be bribed and got away with it?

Is it standard for Malaysians to close the Altantuya's case?

Is it standard for a student to scratch a teacher's car?

Is it standard for lecturers to come in late and care more about her Masters Students than her undergrads?

Is it standard for Malaysians to manipulate the citizens with so many promises?

Is it standard for Malaysians to close Teoh Beng Hock's case?

Is it standard for Malaysian to shoot a boy at his own agenda?

Is it standard for to have accusations upon accusations towards every political parties?

Is it standard for Malaysians to mock one another when status is jeopardized?

Is it standard for Malaysians to put a video of pornography publicly without the person's consent be let go?

Is it standard for Malaysians to say that it's karma for the Japanese and they deserved the tsunami because of WW2?

Is it standard for Malaysians to actually send help to the needy yet mock them at the same time?

Is it standard to send all the bright Malaysians to study overseas and let them grow there instead of here?

Is it standard to shut off Malaysians when they publicize about the truth on certain things?

Is it standard to have Malaysians misusing powers?

Is it standard to cover up lies with lies and kill or hurt those who actually knows the truth?

I just don't get it.

Why is it such standard to stamp on Bibles when the rest of the issues above carry more weight to the country? Why aren't the citizens' welfares be taken care off first before slandering the Christians? Yes I'm severely not satisfied for the Bible issue but I'm heartbroken because it's clearly shown how people care more about tiny stuff than big issues above. If this is the lifestyle of the (not) rich and (not) famous people, there goes the country.

Spelling Out Life... with God's Heart

Lord, Lord,

now I know what breaks You. I'm REALLY sorry.

now I feel what breaks You.

NOW I KNOW.

You've shown me personally that, pretty much CLEARLY.

NOW I KNOW.

and God, it hurts so much. It hurts me so much!

EXCRUCIATINGLY painful.

Lord, Lord,

I give up on my stupid slow self. Teach me more about You.

Teach me how to reach out and stop being such a coward.

Use me tremendously in the Council, in my class, in my daily activities.

I give up being nobody in my college.

I give up being quiet in You.

Teach me.

You've broken my heart into seeing things that are possibly wrong and

You've shown me how those break You, instead.

Lord, Lord

please use me.

please. I know I'm foolish in so many ways

but teach me. Teach me to love. Teach me to worship You like never before.

YAHWEH,

I really am broken.

Thank You Lord for making me feel what hurts You.

Thank You.

Spelling Out Life... with Disappointments

Shoving people expectations and then wrecking it in the end was what I did.

Showing signs of moving on and actually doing it is what I'm doing.

Seeking God in the midst of it all and practicing what I do is what I'm doing now.

I'm just a little disappointed in some people, that's all.

It has been my fault from the start, I admit it.

But I never knew you of all people never approach me after my mistakes!

Yes, I made stupid decisions, I never knew I'm now the stranger in your eyes.

Yes, a stranger.

It has been 16 days of New Year and you never once said "Hie Joy, how are you?" or even "Happy New Year" OR POKE ME on FB for goodness sake! Thank YOU for the moral support by not supporting me ever since.

Appreciation Note

Thank God for UKM seniors and some close MIRI-UKM-JOHOR-ICC friends who are kind enough to deal with my random character and they still have a wee hope in me that I'll change certain ways of how I carry myself, you know. They know certain steps I take are considered stupid now but they just advice me now and then just to kick the sense out of me, but hey, that's more than what I've prayed for! I learn every now and then, I see things from different perspective now and then; But the best part of all, I know I'm growing and I approach things differently now because of their supports and love. I thank God for every cautious minds on me! At least I know I still have a space in their heads. At least I know they won't forsake and leave me alone when I might or might not do stupid things again. At least I know they still care despite of it all. At least I'm no stranger.

:)

Thank you. I'll wait and count until the day you say hie. :)

Even if you do say hie after reading this post, I'll treat you the same as before. Don't worry. You're not a stranger to me coz the whole time, you are family.

Spelling Out Life... with New Academic Calendar

SEMESTER I, 2011/2012 SESSION

REGISTRATION OF NEW STUDENTS : 04/09/2011 (Sunday)
(LOCAL & INTERNATIONAL)

REGISTRATION OF NEW STUDENTS : 06/09/2011 (Tuesday)
(EX-CFS)

LECTURES : 12/09/2011 - 06/11/2011 8 weeks (Monday) (Sunday)

BREAK : 07/11/2011 - 13/11/2011 1 week (Monday) (Sunday)

LECTURES : 14/11/2011 - 25/12/2011 6 weeks (Monday) (Sunday)

REVISION PERIOD : 26/12/2011 - 28/12/2011 3 days (Monday) (Wednesday)

EXAMINATION PERIOD: 29/12/2011 - 15/01/2012 2 weeks 4 days (Thursday) (Sunday)

INTER SEM. VACATION: 16/01/2012 - 06/02/2012 3 weeks 1 day (Monday) (Monday)

NOTES :

• ‘Eid Ul-Fitr 30 - 31 August 2011 Tuesday - Wednesday

• National Day 31 August 2011 Wednesday

• Malaysia Day 16 September 2011 Friday

• Sultan of Pahang’s Birthday 24 October 2011 Monday

• Deepavali 26 October 2011 Wednesday

• ‘Eid Ul-Adha 6 – 7 November 2011 Sunday – Monday

• 1 Muharram 27 November 2011 Sunday

• Sultan Selangor’s Birthday 11 December 2011 Sunday

• Christmas Day 25 December 2011 Sunday

• New Year 1 January 2012 Sunday

• Chinese New Year 23 – 24 January 2012 Monday - Tuesday

• Maulidur Rasul 5 February 2012 Sunday

School Holidays 27 Aug 2011 - 4 Sept 2011 Saturday - Sunday
School Holidays 19 Nov 2011 - 1 Jan 2012 Saturday – Sunday








Honestly... I hate the new calendar. The thought of NO FREAKING CHRISTMAS is NOT FAIR. I do love the thought of attracting international students but what the heck, no Christmas, No New Year!!!!!! Sighhhhhhhh... What say you?

Spelling Out Life... With a Tiny Hope

verse 1:
would you believe me if i said...
that we are the ones who can make the change
in the world today...
would you believe me if i said...
that all of your dreams in your heart
can come true... today...
would you believe me if i said...
that life could be all that you want it to be... today...

chorus:
and if i had wings i would fly
'cause all that i need, You are
and if the world caved in around me
to You i'd still hold on
cause You're all that i believe
and the one that created me
JESUS.. because of You.. i'm FREE

verse 2:
would you believe me if i said...
that God can make miracles happen today
would you believe me if i said...
that you dont need to wait for the answers before..
you step out in faith..
would you believe me if i said
that nothing is ever IMPOSSIBLE.. for God..

Bridge:
just live your life.. with God inside
you wont regret one moment of it
and give all that you can for God... for God








i dono why i'm stuck to this song for the past 4hours.
can i ask for a miracle that i have visa and tickets now?

Spelling Out Life... With a Crushed Dreams 2

Come to think of it, I'm okay already.
I've cried over it.
I'm still disappointed though.
I just wish that I can get my visa and tickets are emailed to me by midnight.
"just have hope" is what keeping me sane.
I don't know why it is there.
But it is there in my mind.
That tiny soft soothing voice.
sigh.
I'm not angry anymore.
I'm just sad.



:)


Updated:
Sis is sad.
She bought all my personal toiletries already, only to know I'm not going.
How awesome that a father can crushed his 2 daughters' hopes.

that is how sad I am now.