Spelling Out Life with... His Strength!

Oh boy, it's not easy. It needs constant reminder not to fall back into sexual immoralities, lustful thoughts, speeches and actions. But to make it clear, I have not had sex with anyone ever in my life, which I thank God He had been there preventing me for a good long few years now. Good God he is. :)

So far, I fell a few times, of course, but every day it is a lesson learnt and now, for a good few weeks, I'm free from it! HAHA. I feel clean and it's like a testimony to me! Kudos to me. I do encourage all of you, who have sexual addictions on stuff you shouldn't have, pray for repentance, tell someone about it and come clean. don't fall for hell when heaven is just steps away. :) He will work in you and through you and I'll pray alongside you. :) He helps and He's a forgiving father and He loves you. :)

xx

all glory to God in the highest. 

Spelling Out Life... with The Lord's Call

Hey guys, how are ya?

:)

I've been having some quiet time lately, it has been good. :) Today, I've read the book of Haggai coz that's what He wants me to learn from. From the utter painful cane from book of Hosea, He reminds me about His forgiveness and grace that He wants me to have after a long time. A few verses stroke my mind as I spent time with Him.

Haggai 1:1-12

⁷ This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. ⁹ “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house. ¹⁰ Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. ¹¹ I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands.”

He constantly reminded me of "give careful thought to your ways" and "because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house". It took me a second to know that I've been such a slack in His ways, which all of you have known. I know I'm not going to be best at keeping my mouth shut or be less like a kid, but I guess, everybody needs to start from somewhere. I also learnt that God wants so much of His temple to be there, which is in us, that pure loving relationship that He so very want to have, but it was in ruin because we are so busy with everything outside this relationship of His. We want our own home, a place of security, to be a place where we design, we forge, we create and it's all about US, our selfish self, that we leave behind His temple, and we constantly and independently grow on our own strength to build a security for ourself, just plain forgetting the only place He wants to dwell in. 

and one thing I'm still not done praying is due to this verse. I still can't get around it. It was speaking so loud  that I know He spoke to me though still don't know what it means. 

Haggai 2:23

“‘On that day,’ declares the Lord Almighty, ‘I will take you, my servant Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you,’ declares the Lord Almighty.”

I am not doubtful of what will happen in the next adventure I face but rest assured, He will take me to another level of faith. I will be that joy and grace that He will be proud of because I am His own. :) 

For I have forgotten the ways that You want me to have, restore in me the heart to be passionate for this land, the people and for Your words. This is what You have called me for and flame it back, Lord. 

That's about it today.

Nothing promiscuous. LOL. 

To God be the glory. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Reality

I welcome you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. :)

I hope I don't mislead all of you from the Truth that I have in my life. The truth of how He is real to me is there but it's not easy when you become a Christian. It's just NOT!

It's by far, the most challenging, mind quenching, attitude crapping, rebelling, outrageously insane faith that one could possible have in one's entire life! It is! But believing and falling in love with the one Living Lord Jesus Christ is just undeniably magnetic, loving, soul-freedom assuring, awesome and outrageously crazy fun! SERIOUS! Kid you not!

Follow my old posts since 2007, I've been downright falling into shit, yet I know the Lord is with me. I've been up in my head, there He is knocking my down a notch. I've been a stupid Christian on and off my entire life, yet He is molding me through every seasons of it. Imagine, the good times are actually more than those bad ones! You know why? God is good! He gives you the joy and grace through the bad ones, hence, good experience topples those bad ones! :) The affair my dad had before was excruciatingly painful but He was there through my godfamily, my ex and best friends. :) The joy they gave me was the joy that He wanted me to have. :) I came out of it believing in Him and correcting my father. See, who says you can't talk back to your parents? I had a chance and it made a difference! :) Praise His name for all the trials I had, even now. :) 

Oh yes, I've been posting more negative, an unlikely "Christian" way of postings, but hey, I know deep in my heart that this is a phase I'm supposed to go through. I know at the end of these, I'll learn again. I'm taking heart of the decision I've made last week. I'm stronger in Him now. I'm growing. I know I am. :) Praise Him. 

Repentance doesn't come easy but who says the same God that was resurrected on the third day of His death, isn't alive and can't do any miracles and wondrous beauty in a lowly life like me? :)

My God is good. :) I hope you're encouraged whenever you're down. The Lord is with you at all time, even you choose to look at your mistakes and faults. 

Amen

Spelling Out Life... with Take heart

I came across the song "Take Heart" by Hillsong on Youtube yesterday evening. The lyrics spoke to me heart and I was sobbing alone in my cubicle in the library! I honestly don't know of the hurt I've given to myself and to others, it's eating me up inside and I believe that the Lord is speaking to me about letting it go. But I'm not ready to trust again. I went in the game early and I lost. I lost in a big fight. Everyone said I'm not ready and I'm not capable to play the game and here I am, I'm not going to play the game anymore. I had enough of losing this game. I can't. I'm not strong and capable. and so be it.

All our troubles

And all our tears

God our hope

He has overcome

All our failure

And all our fear

God our love

He has overcome

All our heartache

And all our pain

God our healer

He has overcome

All our burdens

And all our shame

God our freedom

He has overcome

All our troubles

Though You did but I'm far from overcoming anything. not yet Lord. I'm too weak. 

Hold on to hope
And take courage again

I'll try to hope, I'll just hope on You but not on any of these people's plannings for me. I had enough, Lord. sigh.

Spelling Out Life.. with Blessings

Hey guys,

Just want to thank God today for giving me a good start of the day, not that any other day is bad, but today, I just found out my close friend, deedee, got a job with Jon. I'm glad that he is taking her in his production team. :) She thanked me for introducing her to Jon and I was glad God answered her prayer. :) I woke up and that's the first text I received! It's wonderful to able to help someone. :D Praise God huh!!

And the best part of all, my brunch today was paid by one of my office admins! SO HAPPY! I think I took a lot of sayur and I was really praying and got scared if I have not enough money to pay. Then Abang Fendi went behind me and asked "is that all you're eating? I pay for you la.", SO HAPPY ba me!!! HAHAHA..

Another thing, my council money got reimbursed! YEY! So happy! I got enough for the week.

Thank God for Paul in helping me financially too!

Thank You God! :D For helping me through and loving me all day through!

I'm a happy girl.

Spelling Out Life.. with God

If you ask me how much I know the Bible, I can proudly tell you I don't know much!

If you ask me who spoke of what verse in the Bible, I don't know. Honestly.

If you ask me how many titles does God have, I don't know. Only a few. HAHA..

If you ask me about the theology of Trinity, I have little to explain it to you!

If you ask me about who are Jesus' decendents, I think I'll mix the characters up!

If you ask me about the people around Jesus's life, I'll get blur and says "Maybe they are the jews? Pharisees? Disciples?".

That's how shallow I am towards the Bible.

But honestly, I love God, I know how faithful, loving, cool, funny, crazy, strict, jealous, good, kind, supportive, caring, just, discipline, protective is He to me! He is my father, friend, my pillar, my provider, teacher and shelter. God is good to me in all the shitty things I've been through. As much as I hate to admit it, he IS my REDEEMER and SAVIOUR, though I don't deserve to receive His grace. I change because of Him. I love because of Him. I cry for the lost and broken souls because of Him. I live because He died for me. I shine because of Him. I am me because He made me. I am free, though I fall. I have a purpose in life, though I screw things up. I have everything because He is with me.

that's all that I know of my daddy. He's a cool God. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Help

Help me Lord. I'm struggling inside. Every part of me is screaming and mourning over my mistakes. Help me, God.