Scrumpcious Life ...♥

Spelling Out Life... with Counting m Blessings

2012-01-17T12:02:00.003+08:00

Up to 17th day of 2012.

I've been blessed with :

1. just enough financial aid to last me for this month.

2. a once in a lifetime chance of being able to be in the new KTM's driver coach from Midvalley to Serdang. LOL. I've never been in a train's driver coach before and to have the chance to see how the driver operates a whole train is pretty cool. Kesian the driver though.. AND I realized there are actually cameras in the coaches! hahaahahaha...

3. friends where I can constantly pour my hospitality skills on to, especially to the juniors around me. WHICH I've never really do much.

4. Paul that always be there for me at whatever cost, though we may quarrel till the next day.

5. friends where I can talk my secrets or where I can rant or where they always support me emotionally. Namely Michelle, Livan, etc.

6. a chance to stay in the college for free for 2 semesters though the responsibilities that come along are shitty. HAHA.

7. Paul's family for planning my semester break HAHAAHAHAHA...

8. a new experience with Wai Wai to go for London Weight Management and undergo the steaming room-wrapping in plastic while being on a warm plate-wrapping on velcro with infrared heat vibrator pad. hahahahahaahahahahahahah..

9. studied for a shitty sub that I love practicing but exam wise, I think I just failed it just now.

10. a new therapeutic Gingko Akemi Pillow, bought by Paul. HEHEHEH..

11. encouragement from friends.

12. daily experiences that trains me to be patient and be grateful of whatever I have.

13. the confidence to answer 4 essays in 50 mins. HAHAHAH. that was really God speed and the answers just came in nonstop! HAH! how awesome is that!

14. the chances to spend time with people more WHILE watching series! like dying Ben's hair and Rachel's hair!

15. the chance to bless my close friend Qila her belated 21st birthday with a simple makan-makan. :)

16. the chance to play zumba! HUAHUAHUAHUA... :P

17. the chance to slowly change Paul's style. HAHAHAHA...

18. the chance of my parents being so nice to me everyday.

19. the chance to go to Gynae Clinic in the Serdang Hospital.

20. the chance to discover my badminton skills are better this year. HAH! :D AND I get to gang up with Paul for the time as a sport partner! Pretty good team I might say! :D

21. the chance to have Pr Daniel speaking to us Paul about the relationship. HAHAHAHAHHA.. It was realllyyyyy stressing me up instead of stressing paul out. ahahahahhaahah... but its a good lesson from my spiritual daddy Daniel! :D I'll face more whacking from him along this year. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHH.. prepare Joy, prepare!!!!!

22. the chance to be anticipating the moment where I'll meet MICHELLE HEE!!!!!! hahahaahahahahahaha.. She's coming soon!

Thank You Daddy God for blessing me so far.. :) I'll keep on counting my blessings

Spelling Out Life... with Emo Period

2012-01-11T19:14:00.004+08:00

I'm stressing out over unnecessary issue. Why? I haven't gotten my period for a long long time now. AND NO, it has nothing to do with me being pregnant!

And guess what, I just found out I was born alongside a frigging tumor in the womb! LOL... I think I'll be dead in my mum's womb if my body isn't strong. Hah! Thank GOD!!!! LOL..

so yes, at the end of the day, I inherited my mum's period and I'll be having it until I get my menopause. T.T Sad ba... on top of being less emotional to people around me, people will surely think I have sex just cause I have a boyfriend hence, the no-period thing. T.T I shall gladly say no to that assumption, for I respect our Lord's command of no sex before marriage. the end to that. BUT, I'M STILL SAD COZ I INHERITED MY MUM'S PERIOD....... I was growing alongside a frigging tumor for 9 months!!!!!! wth. you see, if she has it, most likely I'll face the same thing! AND she got operated a month just to remove the tumor after i was born! I wasn't a breast-milked kid! you see! T.T

SOOOOOO SADD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like a retard. an emotional retard that doesn't have any hormone in her ovaries. T.T

SOOOOOOOO SAD!!!

i wanna cry.

DADDY God, whatever it is, please make cycle normal? thanks. :( I emo dy... :(

Spelling Out Life... with Bible Class

2012-01-10T18:10:00.002+08:00

I went to Epiphany Class last Sunday. Banyak la saya belajar, pasal Epiphany is actually a sudden realization thing that you experience--- for instance: "BINGO!" or "AHA!" or "NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE"

My teacher -- Mama Judith, an ex atheist-buddhist-freethinker-hindust-pagan, taught us about the birth of Jesus Christ as an epiphany to the whole universe and yea, one thing I brought back was "Those who met Jesus or even heard of Jesus, even at his infant age, their lives are never the same again!"

Kan?

Do u notice that?

There's a group that denies His existence, another group that accepts His existence, another group that deny His teaching, another group that couldn't be bother about this man called Jesus Christ, which is the way, the truth and the Life!

Even the Magi HAD to use another way back to their country after they met Jesus! How awesome is that? Another way! They didn't go back the same way, why is that? The LORD spoke to them and had them trusting Him to carry them back to where they are supposed to share about the kid Jesus! Hah! Cool, isn't it?

OHHHH... one thing I learnt as well, THE MAGI DIDN'T COME TO VISIT JESUS WHEN MARY GAVE BIRTH. hahahahahahahahaahhaha... all those years, watching the christmas plays, i feel so cheated. ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha...

1 resolution down. :D

Spelling Out Life... with Zumba Fitness!

2012-01-07T22:34:00.003+08:00

Alyssa brought her Zumba Fitness party for me to try out. HAHA

and guess what, after 45mins, I looked like someone who came out of a pool!

AND the funniest part, David Leong and I had the first 10mins session together. LAWAK TO THE MAXX!!! hahahahahaahah....

it was a damn good workout! Perhaps, I should I do it again on Monday to release stress! Hahaha..

- typing this is beginning to be hard as my abs, obliques are starting to be in pain!!!!!!!!! omgggggggg..... hahahahahahahaha

-first time Zumba-ing and I'm at awe how far I went! hahahaahahahahaah

Spelling Out Life... with serving

2012-01-07T17:04:00.002+08:00

I think I want to be a sunday school teacher this year.

Spelling Out Life... with a ring

2012-01-07T16:36:00.005+08:00

I could choose.

I have known him.

and I always love.

or not.

anyhow you may perceive it.

I love you for so many reasons.

yet I see you getting further now.

I love you for an unknown reason.

yet I see it in your eyes too. Incomplete.

I love you for both unknown yet many reasons.

yet I am to believe in it.

When it finally rings,

which will you answer to?

Spelling Out Life... with 2012 Resolution!

2012-01-01T23:13:00.003+08:00

Lord,

I had a weird thought today, when Pr Daniel spoke, I couldn't get why the image of me speaking in front of the pulpit arose. Hmmm... I don't know if I'll ever get to that position. :)

Anyway,

here's my new resolution!!!!

1. Get 65kg before March 29. HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA...

2. Get 60 BEFORE 21st July. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

3. Use a book to catat all my minutes in the meeting and stick to it.

4. Help out in Usher and help Bro. Mark and Sis Rojo in their field.

5. Do minimum of 1 good deed to a person every week.

6. Read finish a book of the bible once a month, which means minimum of 12 books this year.

7. Join the Bible class in church, and never skip!

8. Go Singapore. :) Just a simple trip would do, Lord. :)

9. Learn about finance management and apply it.

10. Join UKM MPP and run for Election. if CAN.

11. Learn to apply TESL theories in the things I do. :)

12. Bless the canteen people and office with at least a cake a year.

13. Spend more time getting to know people instead of watching more tv series alone. :)

14. Slow to speak and quick to listen.

15. Go to new places and try new food in the same old restaurants! hahaha!

16. Bless my parents monthly financially, if I can afford to.

I guess that's about it this year. LOL.

Lord, I have no idea how on earth I'm able to do all these in this year, but carry me through k?

xoxo!

Spelling Out Life... with 2012

2012-01-01T23:08:00.003+08:00

New Year, Day 1

Lord, I commit the rest of my days in 2012 unto Your hands. Whatever that I do or say, may Your artwork be seen in them. I commit every relationships that I'm going to build throughout the year, may Your love and compassion be seen in them. I commit another semester of my JAKSA to You, may You teach me whatever I need to learn to grow. I commit my other commitments with church and CF unto Your hands, be with me as I want to give my best to You.

Lord, as my new year resolution is going to be renewed, I pray that You grant me Your vision and passion to run the race of faith once again.

In Jesus name,

amen.

Spelling Out Life... with end of 2011

2011-12-31T20:00:00.003+08:00

New year is here! Yey! ^^

I just want to say thank You Lord for being such a faithful and living God in my life for the past one year. I experienced more love from friends and family in times of joy, suffering and sorrow. Though life wasn't easy last year, You have carried me far beyond my imagination. :)

If I could recall, I'd try to list down all the blessings that You have given and ushered me, just to give You an offering of praise and thanksgiving:

1. You gave my great seniors that are continuously blessing me with support and encouragement.

2. You gave me strength, support and joy to go through JAKSA though I cried so many tears along the way.

3. You walked with me in times of quietness and emptiness.

4. You gave me chances to meet new people from different workplace, different colleges, different states and different countries.

5. You gave me a sense of belonging in a family through Paul's family and my own big family back in Miri, when I needed it most.

6. You gave me hope when I had issues financially.

7. You gave me courage to speak of your Grace to people that I may not ever see again.

8. You opened up opportunities for me to serve you in the children's ministry, though I thought of declining to take up this ministry (and i still am)

9. You spoke to me in the busy-ness and in times quiet.

10. You carried me academically, gave me courage to speak boldly in presentations and gain favour in my lecturers.

11. You taught me management when I was chosen to be General Secretary, which I never ever thought before.

12. You brought me to bless different people of different religion as how You wanted me to learn to love.

13. You opened an opportunity for me to share Your truth to different people.

14. You encouraged me through my CF, ICC members, classmates, Uni friends, other friends and family members.

15. You taught me how to love others though it was hard for me to swallow.

16. You taught me grace and humility though it was the hardest for me to do and I'm still suck at it..

17. You opened up opportunity to bless my classmates with prayer and support.

18. You gave me people to help me through emotionally and mentally. :)

19. You were there to remind me of the shitty things I did and what I needed to learn.

20. You brought me to places I've never been before in my entire life.

21. You brought me people to bless me with prophecies and words of encouragement.

22. You spoke with me every day and You were never quiet.

Above all, You carried me and I knew it all along. :)

Thank You Daddy God for being there for me. Thank You for being my best mentor in relationship. Thank You for being faithful when I wasn't being one. Thank you for providing me grace, support, love and care. Thank You Abba Father.

Thank You Daddy. :)

I love you for being just an awesome God and Father and Friend to me. :)

Spelling Out Life... with home 2

2011-12-11T20:41:00.001+08:00

I went back Miri with the grace of the Lord. I had the opportunity to go back after months of praying for it. :) thank You Daddy God.

Spelling Out Life... with Influence

2011-12-11T20:27:00.004+08:00

"Joy, you are My beautiful child. Never once I leave you. I will carry you far beyond your imagination. I will cause My sweet fragrance around you for you to experience that I am alive in you and people will see them. I will cause the fragrance of influence be upon you and with this influence, I will bring people into your life and they'll see My glory and know Me. I will bring you higher than you ever thought about. But you need to discern very well and walk with Me, Joy. All that I give you is good but you need to walk with Me. Grow with me and you'll go far, further than before. But be very careful. Never mistaken grace with fame. I love you, Joy. You are my daughter. Walk with me."

Spelling Out Life... with Faith

2011-12-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

i miss my daddy God. I really miss God.

Spelling Out Life... with lost and not found

2011-12-11T20:12:00.002+08:00

I'm currently at the stage where I deliberately run away from the work of God, the grace of God and the love of God.

If you want to know how I feel or think, here is the list:

1. I'm lost. spiritually.

2. I lost vision of what a woman of God should be like.

3. I lost vision of what a Christian is.

4. I lost the strength that wakes me up every morning.

5. I'm sad that I'm not serving in church at the moment.

6. I'm sad that I don't feel joy in doing anything.

7. I feel empty.

8. I'm going crazy inside.

9. I'm down.

10. I feel broken every day.

11. I don't anticipate for anything. nothing interests me anymore.

12. I miss worshiping God in an awesome wondrous manner.

13. I feel dead inside.

14. I don't experience the fruit of the Spirit and that hurts me.

15. I feel empty.

16. I miss God.

17. I'm dried up.

18. I feel as if I live to waste oxygen.

I'm at the stage where I want to go home and see my daddy God and say "Daddy, I'm tired. Carry me to my room, can?'' and i dont know what to do now.

Spelling Out Life... with Ipu Beridang

2011-12-11T20:11:00.001+08:00

She left on the 29th of November 2011, the day of my close friend's birthday. :)

I love you Ipu. You are one awesome figure. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Pastor Kid

2011-12-11T20:06:00.002+08:00

HAH.

I'm officially a PK now. what is PK? Look at the title. HAHAHAHAHAH..

Never in my entire life that I come across that "title". LOL. Used to be "Anak Tuan/Anak Polis/Anak Boss" then now, "Anak Pastor".. heheheheheh.. It's interesting to know, of course.

Spelling Out Life... with 7.11.11

2011-11-08T10:23:00.003+08:00

we went for a karaoke session in CEO Neway in Fahrenheit88. 7hours of singing, dancing and emo-ing. HAHAHAHA..

it was a good time. :)

thanks to Su-Jian who made it happen for me, thanks to Georgina, Danny, Cora, Varreni, Adi, Pang, Alyssa and Marie for the awesome time out. LOL.

the drama was hilarious. rm84 for 7 bowls of titbits. :D

Spelling Out Life... with Home

2011-11-08T10:19:00.002+08:00

meh.

i want to fly in an airplane. go somewhere.

Spelling Out Life... with home

2011-11-08T07:45:00.002+08:00

i want to go home.

I can't sleep after a whole day singing songs in CEO Neway in Fahrenheit88 in Bukit Bintang area. I miss flying back "home". I just miss the idea of going back to my hometown. sigh.

Spelling Out Life... with Encouragement

2011-10-09T21:36:00.002+08:00

"The work of the Holy Spirit is Mine, and they will come to completion. The work I've started in you will be done."

...somehow.. I feel like, If I quit TESL, I sense the consequence of disobedience is heavy... hahahaha.. I shall be glad that I'm on the right track. :D

Spelling Out Life... with October!

2011-10-09T21:00:00.005+08:00

Yey!

October is here. :)

Reason why I love it this month is that NO MORE ORIENTATION! Hahahaha... Honestly, doing a one-month orientation program is insane. INSANE, I tell you. With all the meetings, talks, long speeches by idontknowwho and unnecessary events for a month, those really drained me out! BIG TIME! There's not a week where I've not cried out to Him and said "DADDY, THIS IS STUPID. REALLY.. I CAN'T DO THIS!" Well, after a month has passed, I made it through. He carried me through all the times where I cried myself to sleep and stressed out over all these. In the quiet times, He said "Hold on. You are strong." and that made me even sadder because I'm not!

and lo, I remembered this scene as I was interviewed by a lady of God... A senior, Chen May, spoke words of encouragement to me as she sent me back to UKM. "Joy, through all the times that you feel terrible and yet you made it through really well, it was when the Holy Spirit in you works. It was when you gave yourself up to allow Him to work through you." I guess it's true... God has been working in me. :) Last month was hell, but I met more angels than I have before. Last month I cried a lot more than I have in this year, but I was lifted up by these angels. :)

The beginning of this month, however, as I learn to fix my eyes on Him, I realized of His presence in whatever things I do. He never fails to teach me a lot of new things and He blessed me with the love that is ever faithful. :)

This month, He helped me out in the presentations that my groups are working on and my lecturers liked it! :) Yey! He brought people into my life that I could learn my hospitality skills. :) He made me spend time with my PERKEB family and I had fun. :) He brought me friends that stood by me when my days are bad. :) He brought me out for tons of makan sessions and random outings with all my beloveds. :)

day 9 and I'm glad that He's a cool faithful God. :)

A week has passed, and I'm looking forward for this week! :)

Spelling Out Life... with Balance

2011-09-28T16:24:00.003+08:00

Hie Hie! Heheheh...

I'm doing alright here! :)

Okay, finally I have some time to wind down before I get too keraiiiziii! hahahaha..

Want to know what happened to me the past 4 weeks of September? If you want to know, go ahead and read. If you don't want to know, read jak la. HAHAHAHA..

Week 1

Orientation for the juniors are held. As usual, there'll be drama from the junior side and the side of the higher authority. My goodness, being the PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM between 2 breads are ANNOYING that week! The juniors got pissed at us for last minute details, we are shoveled with last minute infos by the PC PUSAT.. I consoled 2 juniors during this week... It wasn't easy to put myself in their shoes but I tried la, it ended well, i assume. :) But above all, I thank God that I can be of good examples

Week 2

Orientation Week is over! YEY. Here comes another responsibilities from PERKEB, as you all know, I'm the person in charge of the meeting arrangement with University. It wasn't easy for me to balance it all out when JAKSA and PERKEB this week. I forgot a few infos, I missed certain things but God sustained me, He did. and the best part, He put a lot of great friends to watch over me. :) I pity my beloved cause of my tantrum. I lashed people out of stress. I cried out of stress. I fell out of stress... This is the first time I feel college is not fun anymore. :P

Week 3

VC Cup English debate is here!! Hihihih.. Watching the juniors out is simply de-stressing! I should work as a motivator or trainer in the future wei.. It's actually a miracle to watch how far people grow in a particularly new skill. :) I'm proud of the juniors though this year we didn't break into the quarter. :) They gave out their best in the last speech and yes, I'm proud to see my 2nd juniors train these people too! Arrangement for PERKEB has finally come to places and God has been good la. :P Staying in college is not so bad after all. :) The sad thing for this week was that a friend of mine left Malaysia. :(

Week 4

This week, spending time with my beloved has been a blessing. :) All my favourite angels are graduating and I'm blessed to be able to watch them graduate. They have been such great influence on my side for the past 3 years in UKM la.. :) I'm honoured to know them personally and I'm blessed to have them in my life. :) God bless each and everyone of you. :) Oh yes, the play in UNITEN is so much better than last year's. It's adapted from A Walk to Remember (my favourite movie ever) and the songs played in the theater is so nice! :) Kudos to all of the casts and crews. :) hihihi.. September has come to an end.

Balancing out studies, PERKEB and JAKSA is coming to a picture right now and I don't feel too stress for now. :) It's tough la indeed but I know and believe that He carries me through, though I only see a set of footprints on the ground. :)

Spelling Out Life... with low emotional state of mind

2011-09-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

i need a hug.

i need someone to tell me that "ilek la.. its nothing big"

i need someone to tell me that "hey. ur going to be okay. coz He is with you"

i need someone to pinch me and say "dont be such a puss and jump back up, will you???"

i need someone to throw me a bucket of ice water on my face.

i need someone to tell me "ur schedule is not pack. so u will be A-OK"

i need someone to tell me "look unto heaven and see His faithfulness"

i need someone to tell me "the LORD gave you a good break in Penang, remember? so what makes you think He won't carry you through the week?"

I need someone to tell me "chillax"

i need myself to absorb all the things I said above.

Spelling Out Life... with Running Away

2011-09-19T00:25:00.002+08:00

I've been running away from my family.

I wish that I don't have this issue.

I wish that Paul didn't bring this up.

I wish that I can love everyone else but treat my family as secondary thing.

I wish that Paul could just shut himself up.

I'm pissed at myself.

God, teach me to look unto heaven.

Spelling Out Life... with unnecessary stress

2011-09-19T00:22:00.003+08:00

I guess I've been pushing myself to the point of unnecessary stress. Betul ba. Buduh ba otak sia ni.. cis. hahahaahahah.. kalau sia duduk di luar badan sia kan, semestinya sia ni ckp dgn bdn sia ni "ish. ilek ilek ba. tada apa2 tu..." hahahaahaha..

Council work is done, PERKEB work tinggal satu, class blum mula but I treat myself as if the world is going to end.

"Joy. be still. Look unto heaven."

hmm.. look unto heaven?

Spelling Out Life... with being selfless

2011-08-25T09:31:00.002+08:00

throughout the time of suffering, I realized I have to learn to give up so many things physically and emotionally. It isn't easy... part of me doesn't want to lose my marbles in the whole process, part of me want to give up, part of me just want to see God do something, part of me is holding on to the grand promises of God and part of me just doesn't want to give in my traditional rigid perception of how things SHOULD run! You've been there before, don't you. Yea, at this season of life, I think I have an issue of being selfless.

God, God, break my pride and let Your Holy Spirit mold me greatly. I am ready for the next couple of pride-breaking days, carry me through though.. Give me the courage as I fall down to my level of humility. Give me the strength to carry myself selflessly in these days.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with "I puasa la"

2011-08-18T23:41:00.001+08:00

As Malaysians, one way or another, we are bound to fast over some things or occasions. We are either following own belief’s yearly fast or we just simply want to fast on over-indulgences, such as Facebook, shopping, eating snacks and so on. However, when it comes to fasting, I realized there is more than just not eating our 3 favourite meals of the day or resisting our minds from doing certain acts. Fasting, for me, challenges us to go beyond our horizon of daily routine and it is supposed to upgrade us to a whole new level of growth -- spiritually. It should, isn't it?

Fasting, as I see it, is not hoping for God above to pardon our never-ending sins, to bless our plain pathetic or to some, awesome lives or even to grant ample of favour for us. It is supposed to challenge us to grow more in Him, not restricting us over a ritual or tradition. Fasting supposedly goes beyond our understanding of our own benefits and of our own self. It is never about “what’s for dinner tonight?” or “I’d like to eat to this for dinner and breakfast” because yea, it’s not just about me, me, me and me! It is never meant to be about us and it never should be about us. Fasting, to me, should make us revolving more around God, or whoever that you may worship. Through fasting, one should have an eternal perspective of how we worship the one who creates us and of how we should dwell in His presence. Because at the end of the day, it is all about Him. Once we have grasped the wholesome idea of this, it makes fasting way easier, no?

One may think that fasting is a way to losing weight, I may not object, because it IS true! Haha. *you should try it!* Nonetheless, this is not the main point here. LOL. Again, as I am in the process of renewing my walk with God, I realized that fasting goes beyond our capabilities to serve our selfish desire but more towards the community.

I once read a scripture in Isaiah 58 verse 1 till 14 (Yesaya 58:1-14, in BM)). This scripture calls for us:

“For day after day they seek me out;

they seem eager to know my ways,

as if they were a nation that does what is right

and has not forsaken the commands of its God.

They ask me for just decisions

and seem eager for God to come near them.

‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,

‘and you have not seen it?

Why have we humbled ourselves,

and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please

and exploit all your workers.

Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,

and in striking each other with wicked fists.

You cannot fast as you do today

and expect your voice to be heard on high.

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,

only a day for people to humble themselves?

Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed

and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?

Is that what you call a fast,

a day acceptable to the LORD?

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

We are called to serve others as how we worship our Lord, we are called to bless others with whatever that you have sacrificed for during this fasting season, may it be giving your old (or even new!) clothes, time, attention, cash etc. We are called to be blessings to others because He has first blessed us! What good will fasting be if our relationships with one another are not showing the righteousness and the love of our Lord? Let us challenge ourselves to grow and reach out for the poor and needy out of real conviction and surely the Lord will bless our genuine heart as how you have blessed Him through those generous acts. :) I can bet you learn to expand your level of humility and your contact network all over the place too! Who knows, when you run for presidency, those hands you reached out before will stand up for you, just as how you stood up for them! Haha! :)

Dwell closer in Him through this season of get-to-know-God, and surely you will find joy in Him, just as how it is mentioned in the Scripture. On top of that, be blessed as how you have bless others.

Day 18 of Ramadhan and the joy of the Lord should still be with you! hihihi.

Spelling Out Life... with Passions

2011-08-05T23:15:00.002+08:00

"You will work among the majority"

*flashes of various faces*

"You will have to hold on to Me even more but NEVER EVER doubt that I'll leave."

"You will serve these group of people in your life."

"Your walk with him is not going to be easy but you have to trust Me."

"Everything will be beautiful in My timing. Just believe"

"You will be as one of the top of the world but you will serve them as how I served you."

"You are called for a greater call but always know that I am always with you."

"It is certainly easier to walk with the crowd than to go against it. Just hold close to Me and you will grow."

"Many doesn't see the burden in your heart but there are people out there with the same burden as you, thinking over the same thing. It's just a matter of time that you'll work together. Just have faith."

"just believe and you'll be fine. just believe."

"If you ever stop praying for these people, the rocks will cry out and what's your purpose of being here at the first place?"

"stop going on your own strength. Just let go and believe that I'll bring everything together in time."

"I need you to go through all these in order for you to learn on your own. But it means you well."

If I ever stop discerning on His words in my life, I'd rather die than to live another thousand years of never knowing Him again.

Lord, great is thy faithfulness in my life. thank You! :)

Spelling Out Life... with Thanksgiving #2

2011-08-05T22:28:00.002+08:00

Hey there readers, it has been a while, don't you think so? :) I kind of miss the whole drama that I always put in my writings (or so they seem), but yea, things have been busy the whole semester break and it is finally coming to an end yo! BOO! ;P

If there are words to describe of His faithfulness, it'll be certainly be the song "Fire Fall Down" by Hillsong United.

"These hands are yours
Teach them to serve
As you please and I'll reach out
Desperate to see all the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in you"

You've changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In you I am blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of you

I guess I've been struggling so much more with my own character until the point where He just HAS to break my pride in order for me to listen to Him! As I spend time with Him everyday for the past couple of weeks, it has been both tough and interesting I may add... Revealing of another side of me until I can't seem to ignore and I just HAVE to change for the better of myself. It'll be shallow and stupid of me when I ignore His gentle nudge, when I could feel extremely bitter towards mere mortals that nudge me. LOL.

To He who has died and lives, He is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only He is the life, He is the ever faithful pillar that loves me and I can't describe what life could have been if He's not in it.

Thank You Abba Father, my friend, my saviour, my Lord, my pillar, my foundation and my love, Lord Jesus Christ.

Spelling Out Life... with my sister

2011-06-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

i miss her.

Spelling Out Life... with Windy Road

2011-06-16T21:18:00.002+08:00

Windy road ahead! Gonna be ready for the unexpected twist in few months down the road.. :) Lord, Lord, one thing I ask, as we wake up daily the next coming months, let us grow closer to You, gain strength from You alone and never be bitter in whatever situation that is to come.. Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Working Alone

2011-06-06T10:56:00.002+08:00

I guess working without your friends does make everything different.. :) But nonetheless, God has been blessing me with my colleagues. :) They have been blessing me with food everyday!!! :D My manager does give me the creep sometimes though... Is that the typical manager style, oh people who works? Hmmm.. HAHAHAHA...

K.. K.. Thank You LORD for the awesome past weeks.

Spelling Out Life... with Work

2011-05-23T23:08:00.002+08:00

I'm now working with the *cough* Koreans! Muahahahaah..

They are rather quiet when I'm there AND the best part of all, I'm working in a Bakery! :DDDDD imagine that, Joy, who has zero experience in packing stuff and literally hates packing stuff, ended up doing that for the next 3 months *gasps* hahhahahaha..

kkkkk. busy gila now. But i think it's where I'm supposed to be. :) hugs LORD. :) I love you.

Spelling Out Life... with Family

2011-05-17T13:19:00.007+08:00

Everyone says family of the same blood watches out for you,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood takes care of you, rain or shine,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood supports you,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood loves you,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood builds you up,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood sticks together,

but i beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood is inseparable,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood grows together,

but I beg to differ.

Everyone says family of the same blood spends time together,

but I beg to differ.

What do I agree in?

Family doesn't make up of the same bloodline. They don't. Family is made up from a group of individuals of different races, characters, looks, weights etc, that support, care, grow together, spend time together and love one another. That is what I call family. I realized I have more families than I could imagine and asked for, want to know why? My fellow bloodlines are strangers to me, literally. If I could name one disappointment in life, it would be having fellow bloodlines that doesn't care or love you as a person. They know your existence but they couldn't be bothered about your being. When you stick to them, care for them emotionally, spiritually and physically, in the end, what do you get? Not even one support. Not even one! Okay, maybe one or two supports, can't deny that. But when you are totally in need, they are gone. Like KAPPOOOOOSH! BAM! "I'M OUTTA HERE!" or "SEE YA, DON'T WANNA BE YA"

Therefore, I thank God for the families I have all around Malaysia. :) They have been nothing but nice to me and love me like their own. :) thank you from the deepest bit of my heart! :) If there's "World Family Day", I'd call each one of you just to say THANK YOU! :)

My mood now is disappointment.

Somehow, a friend of mine: Choudhry, comes in the picture right now, to remind me to let go. Though he doesn't know what I'm going through right now, I think God sends him to bless me with the song "Irisdescent" :) Wanna know what the lyric says?

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known.

Remember all the sadness and frustration,

And let it go,

Let it go."

thank You LORD for always being here with me through different individuals... :) I shall be glad and know I'm loved by YOU, him and my other foster families.. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Redang Lang Tengah

2011-05-15T23:13:00.010+08:00

I really thank my Daddy God for giving me opportunity to go for a vacation on an island, where I've not been to. I've been wishing to go to a private island before and my dream has come through! THANK YOU LORD!!! :))))) I also want to thank Him for giving me the time to create friendships with different bunch of people in college! The 3days 2 nights, from 10-12th of May, in Redang Lang Tengah were awesome as we went for snorkeling, karaoke-ing, volley-balling and food-feeding 24/7. the boring part was the meeting. Hahahaha. Hmph! I've grown big after that! LOL.

And the thing about the island, it is gorgeous! Imagine going for a honeymoon with your dearly beloved there! FUYOOOOO!! LOL. 2-3resorts on the island some more! Speaking about complete privacy, the phone coverage there can be rather sucky, so those who really wants peace and quiet moments with the nature, you can swim your way there. :) It's beautiful, quiet and serene. There's BLUE CORAL too! muhohohohoh! :D

K la, let the pictures drool you. :D or you drool after looking. :D or maybe not. :D

Spelling Out Life... with Struggles with Cash

2011-05-14T15:32:00.002+08:00

internal struggles with finance security really hits me big time. I'm pissed at myself rather than doubting He who will provide myself. I'm still picking things up slowly. I need an account book. I need to start now or I'll forever be a selfish brat who dreams of owning a private jet plane one day.

another struggle after another. I really have to learn to get myself together! right??

hugs joy. hugs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the weather is killing me. its too humid

Spelling Out Life... with Jom Masuk Universiti 2011

2011-05-09T10:53:00.009+08:00

Sitting down reminiscing the moments I had, with my JAKSA colleagues and SMK Seri Tangkak Johor Students, is creating that solemn emotion one always have after certain situation. I really thank God for every wee bit of struggles, joy and tears that I had whilst handling the programme. :) I thank God for the strengthening of friendships, newly formed friendships and new experiences (PLAYING M-16!!)

Preparing for the programme was not an easy task for me la. Writing more than 10 letters in a short period wasn't fun, making proposals, having proposals being rejected, letters being rejected etc etc.. I cried coz I hate secretarial job before this but after all those struggles, I learn to develop a sense of management in handling little little things and hey, I never knew being a secretary is actually very easy! LOL!

During the programme, 6th-8th of May 2011, I realized that I can be VERY strict to people. yes, STRICT. Hahahahaha... I punished the students the squat-stand(what do people call this again?) 30-40times because they were deliberately late. LOL. I even left, yes, LEFT, my ajk because he slept in his room! waited for him 20mins in the scorching hot weather wasn't fun. LOL. Nonetheless, we apologized to one another soon after and we're okay with it.

That was the strict side of me, but of course, Joy GL wasn't made to be all evil and all. I think I still have my maternal love instinct in me the whole time. LOL. I was in charge with the students' welfare and health and I tell you, it was FUN! So many people had sick, fever, scratches, bruised, scars etc etc on the second day. LOL. I learnt back on first aid through Wan Zairul Azri. :) Awesome friend and leader he is! :) I learnt to shift people's attention off the injuries they have too. :) Pretty good thing to do if one is injured.. For example, this girl cried big time after she accidentally cut her palm, LOL... (dont laugh), as I took out the medicine out from the F.A.K., I quickly asked her "hey... do you have siblings? how old are they?" and her reaction was puzzling. HAAHAHAHA.. "huh? ermm... *still sobbing mode* I have 5. and uhm, *sobbing lessen* the eldest is uh... 34. and uh... *stop crying* the second one ah, 30 lor.. blaa bla bla". Geez, I should have taken nursing instead of teaching last time. LOLL...

The students that I came to know personally kan, they are really innocent and they are hungry for more knowledge if the school learn to get to know this people. Some of them really taught me a lot about life, just by talking to me about their families, their interests, their friends, teachers and about themselves.. Their characters varies and they are great bunch of kids! :) Thank God for the chances of getting to know them, encouraging them and blessing them with whatever I had.

oh! One thing for sure, I hate the school system. I HATE IT. Some of you who knows me well, rarely hate something or people right? yea, the school system really pisses me off. REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

The best part of all, I prayed with 4 other Christian students before they left. :) We prayed for their exams and studies, their friends studies, their families etc. :) The funniest departure was when a girl cried when I hugged her.. She said these in chinese "Sis, thank you for taking care of me. I'm going to miss you. I really hope we can meet again.. and please dont tell my teacher I cried again. she'll post in the school news wan.." hahaahahahahahaahahahahaah.... then I called her teacher and she went "WEEEIIIIII JIEEE!!!!! BU YAOO!!!!" hahahahahaa..

but above all, the most encouraging words for me was when Teacher Suhaila said "Joy, I hope you'll be a great teacher next time. You'll be great one next time" :) and another photog teacher said "Joy, thanks for everything. You'll make a great teacher one day."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... hahahahahah..

all in all, what new things I experienced the whole time?

- Ushering YB.

- Playing M-16 (shot 3 cans within 25m distance!!!!!)

- walked 4-5km of hills and curves within an hour. HAHAHAHA.. punya lambat...

- Staying in Markas Palapes, pretty neat stuff! :) Fun too!

- Bonding with my new batch of JAKSA people was great as well!

- Showing Gadoh to the non-muslim students and encouraging them to respect one another etc.. :)

k la, k la, lunch time. hugs!

Spelling Out Life... with Secretarial Works

2011-04-27T12:10:00.002+08:00

Hahahahaha.. I think I can get used to this work!

I know earlier on I was ranting with so much burden but I think after that day, I had a good cry/complaint/release of tension, I'm back up on my feet again.

I thank Him for teaching me how to be more organized in my work. Thank Him for the strength and patience. :) Still learning the art of patience right now. :) Thank Him for molding me in that area.. :)

Lately, for a week i've not been sleeping well. I think i'm going to the clinic to give me the calming pills to make me sleep. I really am stressed out in a minor way.

Learning to cope up with it.

oh oh oh oh!!!!! Im so happy I finished all my work in time! :) And i'm proud that my works are settled even before the due date! I'm so proud of myself. hahaahahahahaa.. I'm gonna treat myself with ice cream this weekend. :)

For the first time in history, I've written more than 10letters in 3days. I never once written more than once in a long long long time... LOLLL

Spelling Out Life... with Better self

2011-04-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

meh.

I'm okay now. I just need to sleep cause I haven't gotten a full cycle lately. LOL. Never mess with Joy's sleep or she'll crack after a few days. hahahahaha..

Kk. I'm okay now. LOL. I'll continue writing my JAKSA letters tomorrow. I want to sleep because I need to send in the paperwork tomorrow. I wonder how do Prime Minister sleeps at night... He has the whole country to think through. What about me? A big-sized yet tiny role of a student leader that doesn't know how to carry herself even with little responsibilities.

Sigh. Nonetheless, I'm thankful for being able to be in the room now. Lying on the floor amongst the mess and in the dark is just pure bliss.

Thank You Lord for the responsibilities. These are Your ministries and I shall run them diligently with Your strength.. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Responsibility

2011-04-25T19:55:00.002+08:00

GOD,

I'M PISSED. SERIOUSLY ANNOYED.

DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I CAN DO THIS????!!!!!!!!!

I'M NOT GOOD IN ORGANIZING MY MIND, MY THOUGHTS AND SO MANY THINGS.

I SUCK IN BEING A SECRETARY!!!!!!!! I SUCK AT BEING SOMEBODY'S GIRLFRIEND.

I SUCK AT BEING SOMEBODY'S FRIEND. I SUCK AT KEEPING PROMISES. I SUCK AT RUNNING THINGS. I SUCK AT DOING SIMPLE THINGS. I SUCK IN HANDLING MY EMOTIONS. I SUCK AT TEACHING SOMEBODY. I SUCK AT SO MANY THINGS.

GOD,

DO YOU REALLY THINK I CAN DO THIS?????!!!!

I'M PISSED AT MYSELF. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS.

GOD,

PLEASE HELP.

"draw close to me and you'll find strength."

i'm sad, God. :'( I'm tired, God. I'm stressed, God. I'm honestly sad, God. Daddy, I'm sad. I really am sad. I'm stressed.

Spelling Out Life... with Fats

2011-04-25T19:44:00.003+08:00

I'm big fat and huge. thank you.

aside from that thought being fed in my head. I'm frigging stress out over JAKSA. I want to cry. I know I have to learn to handle management, be more frigging organized and be frigging ready for things, but right now I feel so inadequate. I FEEL SO #@%q#@%#@% pissed at myself for not being able to train my brains to take things lightly and enjoy the whole @#%$#@ process. I'm pissed at myself for not being #@$@#%#% organized and slow. I'm picking things up slowly. I suck.

I want to eat all those slimming pills and be uber skinny like everyone else. At the end of the day, looks carry yourself further in the world.

#$$#@@%#$%!@#$!@#@%$#@%$

@#$@#$@#%#%@#$

i'm just stupid. fat. ugly. really dumb.

I just want to be alone. screw you.

i'm pissed.

i'm never good enough for you.

$#@^%^*^&(&!@#

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i'll be fine. I'm just pissed off at myself for JAKSA's stuff.

responsibility is never fun. #@$%!@ IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'M STRESS. thank you.

i really feel so #@%$^@^3 up!

Spelling Out Life... with Sarawak State Election

2011-04-16T23:40:00.001+08:00

Taib won the round. im bummed out. damn sad.

RETIRE. PLEASE.

Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB Seniors

2011-04-16T15:57:00.002+08:00

hah!

I'm emotional now. Period is here, what to do. Anyway, memandangkan saya tengah emotional, I shall post an emotional post. T.T (sedih sudah)

To all my seniors:

1. Su-Jian Koay:

You've been so great to me. Thank you for being cool when I nearly cried in the car. LOL. I'll never forget that part. (T.T) Thank you for the emotional and spiritual support the whole 2 years that I've known you. You're one awesome senior that cooks, counsels, jokes around, wise and protects. Always remember that you are AWWEEEESOOMMMEEEEEEE (barney, HIMYM).

2. Caroline Lee:

The senior of the same species, I look up to as a big sister... Thank you for your love, support, concern, lame jokes, weird driving, great laughter, hospitality and your prayer. You are one beautiful woman, a full grown woman who knows what she wants in life. Live up to your calling, kay. Because His work in you is still moving and working for the whole world to know Him.

3. Benjamin Chan:

A subtle character but a strong faith you have there. Thank you for blessing me with your listening ears, support, care, hospitality and love. I see that the Lord has been faithful to you, just speak forth of His grace and faithfulness to those who haven't heard Him. He will carry you through the words that He has prepared for them. Just know that He will finish what He has first called you to be.

4. Isabel Lo:

the woman with a knowledgeable mind and a loving heart. Thank you for your companionship and love throughout the whole 2 years of knowing you. I love our crazy and sad moments together. Thank you for supporting me emotionally with your mum's amazing story back in first year. Thank you for being just great in helping me building up the characters of the junior debaters. Thank you for being you when we're together. You are one beautiful character that He always use in the littlest thing you do. Be daring in being different, that's all that I can say. Just be daring.

5. Davin:

loud crazy one, hehe. Thank you for faithfully serving me when I first came to UKM, bringing me to church and all. Thank you for the heart-to-heart session in the van. that is priceless. You are priceless. continue to be faithful because you are meant to be one.

6. Evon:

lol. i doubt that you read this but i'm glad that you have blessed me with your funny comments about so many things! thank you for your love stories... heheehheheheeheh....

7. Danny:

orang lawak. hahaahahaha.. jum kita lagu HSM time karaoke lagi! hahaahahahahaahah.. thank you for always bringing out the life out of everyone! you are the joy of the place where He puts you to be.

8. Taiko:

You are one faithful character. Seek and you will find. Open up your heart and never doubt. A faithful man will just live by faith and know that he is in good hand. You have an abundant future, always believe in it. thank you for always being there for me. thank you for loving me as a sister. thank you for always lighten up my day with your random comments. :) Don't forget our pinky promise!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

to all the UKM seniors, thank you for your presence in my life. to the names I've not mentioned, I cant write more. Crying badly now. Thank you.

thank you.

I pray that the Good Lord will always break you and mold you and also discipline you and love you. I pray that He will strengthen you and give you all the wisdom that you need for your future undertakings. I pray that you continue to walk with Him and bless Him with whatever that He has given you. I love you guys with my heart and soul. You are my blessings. You are my treasures and I thank Him for all the moments we have had together. Thank You Lord Jesus for all the beautiful souls that You have blessed me.

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with More Responsibilities

2011-04-15T15:59:00.002+08:00

Matthew 25:14-30 (New Living Translation)

Parable of the Three Servants

¹⁴ “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. ¹⁵ He gave five bags of silver^[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

¹⁶ “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. ¹⁷ The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. ¹⁸ But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

¹⁹ “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. ²⁰ The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’

²¹ “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!^[b]’

²² “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’

²³ “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

²⁴ “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. ²⁵ I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’

²⁶ “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, ²⁷ why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’

²⁸ “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. ²⁹ To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. ³⁰ Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

at times like this, somehow I know that God teaching me a lot of new responsibilities for my future growth. I know not what are they for but for now, I'm taking the role of leadership and teaching.

As the new semester takes place in September, 2 new responsibilities are added in, compared to last year. I honestly do not know how I'll handle my time and my mind. Time management is not my forte but I guess I have to learn to separate what's important and what's not.

Lord Lord, all that I ask for is Your only Hand to carry me through.

I believe that all the work that You've given me is a blessing instead of burden.

In jesus name, I can do all these.

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with PERKEB AJK 2011/2012

2011-04-15T15:53:00.003+08:00

Use me Lord according to Your will.

I know nothing but I want You to bring me far

Spelling Out Life... with JAKSA 2011/2012

2011-04-15T15:48:00.003+08:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!

I'm the Kolej Tun Hussein Onn Student Council for 2011/2012.

I'm the General Secretary for the coming academic calendar year.

I'm freaking out honestly. i NEVER once becoming a secretary before.

I'm honoured for given responsibilities but I'm scared.

Please be with me. Ask "How are you?" and listen to my cries when the semester starts in September k? That's all that I need. Pray for me too. I need all the emotional support. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Pastoral Care

2011-04-15T15:33:00.003+08:00

Lately, I've been speaking to 3 different characters: a Pastor, Pastor's wife and Pastor's kid.

One thing I find them in common, they suffer emotional and mental struggle, so bad.

Pastors have so many things to handle.

Pastors welfare are not taken care of.

Pastors have to listen for people's struggles and zip in their own struggles.

Pastors' wives have to abandon luxury treatment.

Pastors' wives have to deal with husbands' and childrens' welfare.

Pastors' wives have to die to themselves and serve everyone in the church too.

Pastors' kids have to deal with putting up a good front ALL the time.

Pastors' kids have no attention from fathers.

Pastors' kids have to depend on their siblings for family support.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmm... God, You are teaching me about HUMILITY, aren't you? My time is nearing when He puts me there in the pedestal pedal, soon.

Spelling Out Life... with misses

2011-04-12T14:34:00.005+08:00

LOL. Don't laugh or grin. I know some of you would. :D

Spelling Out Life... with Banning dances

2011-03-31T18:48:00.002+08:00

after reading from here:

http://www.mmail.com.my/content/68053-perak-confirms-pocopoco-dance-ban#comment-52020

I think religious leaders in Malaysia should have a monthly gathering just to clear the air on what is good for the Muslims to do and what cant be done. It's rather embarrassing if extremists are on the bar of unity-hatred box.

Chill.

Poco-poco is not written in the Bible.

So before you extremists start to ban everything and make every Malays be pissed at the Christians for all these banning processes, please, I beg you to READ the Bible! PLEASE! Before you start to pass stupid irrelevant judgement on the Christians, please read the Bible. Google it in Bible.com or Biblegateaway.com.

Funny stuff. Indeed. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Cinderella Dream

2011-03-27T23:42:00.003+08:00

she walks through in a cave,

she saw two dresses and she had the instruction of wearing the blue dress,

to her surprise, she saw beautiful blue gems appearing before her! :)

she follows the blue gems trail in that cave that lead her to happiness.

when she wakes up from her nap,

she saw the possibilities of trusting the blue gems around her.

yet, when she fell asleep the second time,

she dreamt of the same cave again,

this time, the same instruction appeared, but she took the red dress.

She was hoping to see the blue gems to lead her out again,

but to her dismay, she was wrong.

the blue gems turned into burning red shiny spikes and she grew scared!

she followed it and it led her to destruction.

the angels at the end questioned her, "have I not asked you to listen? come now, wake up and learn."

She woke up startled.

and I realized I woke up too.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 1 again

2011-03-27T23:17:00.004+08:00

Humble yourself under the Mighty power of God

and at the right time, He will lift you up in honor.

Learning. Man, this is tough. I never knew I'd be as irritated as now. Irritated in the manner of myself. macam berhenti merokok only. LOL. Imagine you're used to one person and there u go, you shut them off. LORD, I'M SAD. It's a good thing that I'm feeling this way, to show how much I need to change in certain things = my characters in viewing things.

I'll make it through this. Amen.

words of wisdom are : wait. just wait.

SGASDGADSG$EG#@!%^@&$T!@#.

i can. :)

Lord, i'm humbling. ahhahahaaahahah.

= still in childish mode.

cane me.

Spelling Out Life... with damn relationships

2011-03-27T22:09:00.003+08:00

friendships are hard to keep. it's just a willing heart to go the distance to listen to the most shallow part of the other person's shallowest phase in life. that's all.

girl, it's okay. it's just a transition period. just love me as how you equally love those that are around you. I'm shallow. i know.

one thing after another. joy + relationships = never ending dramas. !@$!@#$%^@#~(%(*%^

friends after friends leaving.

but I wont, not on you.

again, I'm shallow. i'm sorry.

no, this post is not about him. the end.

Spelling Out Life... With Day 1

2011-03-27T13:43:00.000+08:00

God reminded me of His promise and I know well of this should be done long time ago. I feel stupid for putting myself in these shoes. Well, better start now then to regret after. Dear Lord, carry us well. :)

day 1: the Lord is my shepherd. Instruction is not easy but I'll stick to it.. A month of finding back the LOVE from up above, this will determine the course of journey yet who will gain glory? Not me nor him, indeed I'll give it back to our Lord Jesus Christ.

thank Him for the love and support from the leaders and elders. Thank Him for their concern. A way for wisdom is to heed the words of the elders and I shall do it..

Spelling Out Life... with Time Out

2011-03-27T00:17:00.006+08:00

time out. Version 2.

by the end of this, we're going to be stronger.

Cause that is the decision I'm going to make soon after.

I know this time, He is above us and in us.

Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Questions 3

2011-03-26T23:11:00.004+08:00

K la. I Give up.

If the godly relationship is something that would have every leaders' approvals, then what I have now is not up to that level yet.

If my relationship isn't bringing anyone from my side any good, from the way people perceive me and all, I shall take a huge step backward to think this through.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Its hilarious how my first post makes myself sound like a child, instead of a mature person. foolish me. :D well, we gotta learn

Spelling Out Life... with Questions 2

2011-03-26T22:15:00.002+08:00

okay. I just say all those before coz I cant digest.

Now, I thank God for all the advices. and I shall sip it in.

the bible says, take heed of your elders' words.

I'm thinking twice now.

Spelling Out Life... With Questions

2011-03-26T15:11:00.003+08:00

I come to learn that I make people question my capabilities in handling relationships right now.

To many, in a relationship, one should:

1. be serious in the relationship
2. take her/his time
3. not jump straight into it
4. have a clear mind
5. not follow feelings much
6. be sure of oneself

etc etc.

That pressures me.

Being 21, flamboyant, outgoing, friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of girl, it's not a fun thing to have people's perceptions of "what a relationship should be" tie around my neck. Yes, I honour the conventional traditional way of courtship. But, I dont know la, I have my own perception of what I see my relationship be, you know.

For me, the way I see relationship is that
1. I inform/tell everyone I love about him, vice versa
2. I won't go PDA (Public Display of Affection) around.
3. I won't do what is not right to me or make him do whatever that is not right before our God.
4. I grow with him and vice versa.
5. I update people about our current walk in life.
6. My studies or other commitments are not affected by it.
7. I let him meet everyone that is important to me and vice versa.

I don't know la. Honestly, I feel like I cant fit in people's perception right now and I'm technically going up against current. It's pressuring ba. People expect me to learn from my past and they expect me to learn REALLY well. Now, many are questioning the way I carry myself with my past words, whether "will joy keep her words as she promised?" or "will she repeat the same mistake again and fall?". Everyone has their eyes on me, wanting me to succeed until the point where I begin to develop this huge fear that I will fail them one day.

How I feel right now?
1. I wanna cry for sharing the news with people about him. Although I do want people to know his existence.
2. I wanna cry because I'm pressured about "will this next step I take is a bad one? will they look down on me if it's a mistake?"
3. I wanna cry because I'm capable of failing this current relationship one day and everyone is going to give me that head shakes again.
4. I wanna cry because now, I'm beginning to develop a sense of faith in this one and people are telling me to back off for now.
5. I wanna cry because their perceptions are making me doubtful of myself. I cant do this, right???
6. I feel stupid. I don't know the manual book for dating but all I know I'm honouring myself before God and him before Him. Somehow it's not enough to make people have a little faith in me in this whole thing.

My sister Grace just opened up my eyes. she kept on emphasizing that "Joy, you are still young. It's okay if you make mistake. It's part of life. If you're happy now, then good la. Better than being scared in taking nothing at all the whole time. Don't stress out about your relationship and what others perceive you. You will learn through the process la. Relax jak la. biar jak mereka habis air liur." HAHAHAHAHA..

so begitu la perasaan saya sekarang. tension.

Spelling Out Life... with The Article 11

2011-03-22T20:53:00.001+08:00

Article number: 11

(1)Every person has the right to profess and practice his religion and, subject to Clause (4), to propagate it.
(2) No person shall be compelled to pay any tax the proceeds of which are specially allocated in whole or in part for the purposes of a religion other than his own.
(3) Every religious group has the right
(a) to manage its own religious affairs;
(b) to establish and maintain institutions for religious or charitable purposes; and
(c) to acquire and own property and hold and administer it in accordance with law.
(4) State law and in respect of the Federal Territories of Kuala Lumpur and Labuan, federal law may control or restrict the propagation of any religious doctrine or belief among persons professing the religion of Islam.
(5) This Article does not authorize any act contrary to any general law relating to public order, public health or morality

Spelling Out Life... with Current Issues

2011-03-22T19:24:00.003+08:00

If stamping on bible is a standard procedure,

by all means, stamp all the religious books in Malaysia.

Quran is just for the Muslims, the Tipitaka for the Buddhist, the Veda for the Hindus.

Fair isn't it?

What is a standard procedure to the govt. anyway?

Is it standard for Malaysians to be bribed and got away with it?

Is it standard for Malaysians to close the Altantuya's case?

Is it standard for a student to scratch a teacher's car?

Is it standard for lecturers to come in late and care more about her Masters Students than her undergrads?

Is it standard for Malaysians to manipulate the citizens with so many promises?

Is it standard for Malaysians to close Teoh Beng Hock's case?

Is it standard for Malaysian to shoot a boy at his own agenda?

Is it standard for to have accusations upon accusations towards every political parties?

Is it standard for Malaysians to mock one another when status is jeopardized?

Is it standard for Malaysians to put a video of pornography publicly without the person's consent be let go?

Is it standard for Malaysians to say that it's karma for the Japanese and they deserved the tsunami because of WW2?

Is it standard for Malaysians to actually send help to the needy yet mock them at the same time?

Is it standard to send all the bright Malaysians to study overseas and let them grow there instead of here?

Is it standard to shut off Malaysians when they publicize about the truth on certain things?

Is it standard to have Malaysians misusing powers?

Is it standard to cover up lies with lies and kill or hurt those who actually knows the truth?

I just don't get it.

Why is it such standard to stamp on Bibles when the rest of the issues above carry more weight to the country? Why aren't the citizens' welfares be taken care off first before slandering the Christians? Yes I'm severely not satisfied for the Bible issue but I'm heartbroken because it's clearly shown how people care more about tiny stuff than big issues above. If this is the lifestyle of the (not) rich and (not) famous people, there goes the country.

Spelling Out Life... with Pranks

2011-03-22T18:40:00.004+08:00

I pranked the wrong people the other day. Until now, she's not talking to me...

Sigh.

She was family and now, she's just a family's girlfriend.

So learnt my lesson, never to prank her ever again, in life. I thought she's one of those that have serious face but chillax type. =.=" sigh. She'll never forgive me for being like this.

But then again, I can't blame her, it's her serious character that surrounds her life. I should've told him not to tell her at the first place! geez.

Spelling Out Life... with a Dream

2011-03-14T19:08:00.003+08:00

nightmares, what do you do when you had one?

Sigh. This morning, as I was praying, I was reminded of a nightmare I once had, around end of last year, to be exact... I questioned what good will it bring to me? I got scared and cried, so what good will it possibly bring?

I dreamt about my city or was it a city not of my own, being hit by a tsunami. It was a city. Yes, tsunami. I dreamt that I was stuck in a traffic jam on a hill and I ended up coming out of the car because it's not moving. I recalled my friends were with me and we ran all the way to the top of the hill! It wasn't a great thing to experience. I really felt as if I was there. But the weird thing was, it happened twice and I ran towards a different hill. Have you seen this one particular movie where it was about this president got shot but the whole thing is witnessed from different perspectives? It was exactly alike. Somehow I saw this tsunami happening twice but at a different angle when I saw it the second time.

Sigh. Lord, Lord, help me with the dreams you have planted in me. I don't get why. I really wish You can teach me.

Spelling Out Life... with My 21st!

2011-03-14T10:49:00.005+08:00

When all the simple things I desired, God has blessed me with even more than I expected!

Lunch

I had the family meal I longed for

(@ Village View Bangi)

AND

I had the homecook food I craved for, NERNNY COOKED!!!!

- Thanks to the PERKEB people: Varrenni, Esther, Jared, Ben, Rofia, Rachel, Raymond, Nernny!-

Evening

I hung out with my new friends from SMK JLN REKO (the one behind the Shell Station after Philo). I had fun getting to know the heart of the Form3 girls personally. :)

They treated me with McFlurry!

Jared, Esther and Varreni surprised me in the car! :D

So much for going dating in Serdang huh, Jared? Hahahaha

SAME GOES TO REN: "Oh, I wanna go Hentian Kajang"

Esther: "I'm going back to Melaka la, use Kajang station"

These 3 crazy people had to endure ear blasting session the moment I saw GREEN TEA CHEESE CAKE!!!!!! hahaahahaha.. I wailed and laughed, of course. LOL! The session continued when Ren gave me my 2nd present for the day! :D BROS BOTTLE!!!

Dinner

Went to Subang Square to eat in Sinbad Restaurant, the Arabian Food. :)

AND

Played Murderer Game! :DD

-Thanks to: Sek Kuan, Isabel, Dev, Maggie, Edna, Jeremy, Darryl, Jan Hoe, Fea, Cher Linn, Jim.

The crying session happened when Taiko, Isa and Maggie

surprised me in the car! :DD

They gave me Secret Recipe's Chocolate Indulgence cake, a gorgeous Silver necklace and a beautiful card! :)

12 March 2011

Went to Times Square, KL for birthday shopping with Sharon, after 7pm.

Sharon got me Starbucks TRIPLE CHEESE something2. I couldn't recall.

Hahahaha.

I bought 2 pairs of shoes from NICHII for RM70!!!!!!!

a pair of heels and a pair of sandals.

Had Subway for dinner.

13 March 2011

I went to IKEA with Tim, Amy..... Very fun talking to them in the car!

ah, and not forgetting Ling too. Yes, he tagged along.

Tim and Amy treated me lunch of IKEA MEATBALLS AND DAIM CAKE!!!

The stupid part of the day, I pranked the wrong person until the whole Miri family clan were extremely pissed off. LOL. If you want to know what's the story about, ask me personally. LOL. I hope they don't read my blog though. Or else they say I'm not repenting from my pranking sins. :P

That's about it! :)

Thank You Lord for the great and awesome people that You've put in my life!

Bless them abundantly!

-I shall post photos the next round-

Spelling Out Life... with Pre Wedding : Converse in Love

2011-03-10T18:38:00.010+08:00

I name this post Converse in Love,

in a tribute to their matching clothes, especially shoes!

CONVERSE!

This is my first time shooting a couple, not only that they were wearing CONVERSE SNEAKERS!

So yes, Cute isn't it? Converse in Love.

Which also means, being in love/speaking of love/speak in love etc etc.

Here you go, here's a post of my journey of a voluntary mission which turns blessed!

Pre-wedding Sneaker-Peeker

"Blueeeekkkkkk"

I tell you, they are fun!

the attempt of her carrying him.

Mission failed. HAHAAHAHAA.

You should have seen him!!! He really did jumped on her back. HAHAHAHAHA..

Nick shot from another angle, I tried this one. :)

of all, this is my favourite, coz of their emotions!

............................

Aren't they awesome?? The couple, I mean! Hahahaha..

I shall present to you Julia and Handoko! :D

going to be married in June, i think,

BE HAPPY, BE MERRY, BE BLESSED!

ps: Dont you think she looks like Agnes Monica? HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Spelling Out Life... with Day 3

2011-03-09T21:28:00.002+08:00

MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHA..

3 more days.

DAY 4 was fun! :D

yesterday was the first time I shot alongside Nick for a pre-wedding shooting. On top of that, that's my first time shooting a couple since 2007 AAAANNNDDDD that's my first time shooting an international couple! They are from Indonesia. :D Handoko & his lovely lovely fiance, Julia! :) They are really awesome. AANNNNNNNDDDD that's my first time DRIVING TO AND FRO Melaka-KL! OMGGGG.... so tiring!!!!

I really am blessed by the couple ba... really nice couple!!!!

Wanna know their story in short?

Hans said "Well, for 2 years I've been with her, she changed me. I change her. for the better, characters, I mean and that's how I know she's the one.." and Julia said something like "for 2 years, we've been through a lot, we worked it out, we've been better and that's how I know."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...

Here you go Hans and Julia, your love story, that has blessed me. :) May the good Lord blesses you in your marriage. :) Keep growing in Him and bless others as how you have blessed me! :)

...................................

I don't know what I want for birthday, I just want homecook meals. :( I'm sad. I want homecook food.

Spelling Out Life... With 8 days

2011-03-04T23:42:00.002+08:00

Can I have a Bro's 600ml or 500ml water bottle for a birthday gift? Hahahahaha. I don't have a decent water bottle since 2008. LOL. So I'd so the very appreciate it if I have one? LOLLL... :D

What do I want for birthday, for real?
1. Friends to celebrate it with.
2. To be able to spend time with a family.
3. To have a key pendant! (I just found out that people give keys to the person who is celebrating 21st birthday and I find it cool. I'm suddenly excited for it! LOL.)
4. To have a green tea cheese birthday cake. which I find it hard to find.. :(
5. go SS2 Murni and try their spaghetti meatball!!!!!! :DDD

I just realized all I need is people and food to make me happy. :) Nothing big.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! yesterday was awesomely memorable but soul-shooting at the same time. :) Thank God for it.

xoxo.

I'm going to be bolder now. Amen.

Spelling Out Life... with 10.5 Days

2011-03-02T20:46:00.003+08:00

Malaysians are born extremely smart but raised with stupidity under the government's ruling.

Oh, the best part, the government wants all to be dumb followers with all the restricting rules here and there but still smart enough to make the country move 1 step ahead instead of 100steps ahead.

At one point, I've been having visions of this country not in a good shape, and yes, I've already foreseen the country is under his ruling, just waiting for the day for her to burn. figuratively of course.

Thank you, country. :)

Spelling Out Life... with 10 Days

2011-03-02T09:24:00.002+08:00

Day 10-more-to-go

God says to me "not all bad things that happened bring more harm instead it will cause you to pray more and seek Me more."

So it's pretty obvious how my maths is terrible, I can't even count my own countdown. HAHAHA.

All Glory to Him in the highest.

I pray that all you who read will be blessed. (NOT CAUSE OF MY FAILING MATHS)

"The Lord wants your heart. He wants to bless you with an everlasting joy, peace, security and love in Him. He loves you more than anyone could possibly imagine! He made you to bless your family, friends and me! He made you live this far to let you know that He is in control, He never fails. He may answer certain issues rather slow but it is never too late. He is molding everyone, including you! yes you! to work in His kingdom. What joy or peace can the world possibly give or even last for that matters, if you still feel empty in the inside after seeking for so long? None can compare to His own Spirit to dwell in you! You are His child and You always will... But, to know Him is to accept his only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, into your life as your personal Lord and Savior. He is the way, the truth and the life, no one can go through the father unless through Him. :) Don't take too long to justify your reasons for not having Him this soon. This prize is too big to be justified to begin with anyway! :) I know this sounds to religion-ish, but I once had the same thought too but God changed my mind when I began to take the leap of faith! :) Live because He first live! :)"

I love you! :)

Spelling Out Life... with Day 15

2011-02-26T23:33:00.003+08:00

I think I salah kira for my birthday countdown. I forgot that February has 28 days. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA..

takpa la kan... :D oh, Vivian updated my first gen Itouch! :D I have weird cool games called: Angry Birds, PvZ, bejeweled 2, Cut The Rope etc. Wanna play? Let me know yea! :D

I cant sleep well for 2 nights now. I have issues with Heiman's death. sigh.

Anyway, I had good dinner tonight. Mind blasting one. :D

Thank you Taiko and Jian for the insights. :D

I'm tired and I cant sleep.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 16

2011-02-25T21:27:00.002+08:00

When The Lord gave

I tried to close one eyes

Wishing it's not true

Over and over the visions and dreams repeated themselves

yet I still wish it's not true

When the truth sank in,

I knew well it was real and happening

I could only mourn like the rest

Rest in Peace,

Heiman.

I only met you a couple of times but I know well you are a fighter. You always are. Just as your mum...

Spelling Out Life... with Day 17

2011-02-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

We're not here to live comfortably, we are here to do something about this country. When all races start looking at themselves as Malaysians, instead of stereotyping everybody as this race or that, I believe that we'll achieve more than just Vision 2020.

Live as one, think as one, be like one.

I'm Joy Gracia Liso, I'm not a Kelabit and I'm a Malaysian.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 18

2011-02-23T16:47:00.003+08:00

God,

I pray that you grant me a nice birthday. Something simple but memorable celebration with my loved ones: family and friends is more than I could possibly ask for. Somehow I'm craving SS2 Murni's Spaghettis meatball, mango juice, Jian's mashed potatoes, and Nando's chilis, with TV at the side. Hahahahahah..

K la, just a simple desire, that's all. :)

Believing in that. I shall! :D

A girl can only dream. :D

Spelling Out Life... with Day 19 - 1

2011-02-22T19:45:00.005+08:00

Why do I have the Lord Jesus Christ in my life? Let's hear out my story with Him alongside me! It's nothing big but it has been abundant...

Just a brief introduction, I come from a Christian family, go to church since baby yet I was empty, direction-less, lost and dead. I can be happy but when the sun sets, I have nothing to look forward to, except for the excitement I get in schools, from friends etc. I always find my journey ahead a little blurry, I don't know what I can do with my life. I am the girl with a very short span of contentment. I get bored easily. I'm indecisive, compulsive and all the -sive adjectives that one could possibly as for. Earlier in 2005, I lied on bed, telling God almost everyday. "God, if You are real, please change my life around. I'm bored! Is there more to life than this? Please make Yourself real to me." :D It was then end of 2005 when everything started to go haywire! In 2006, I can possibly tell you I was a wreck. My family started to torn apart from one another although my social life started to build up (in a good manner ofcoz: President/vice president/prefects etc). My family nearly got into a divorce, everybody hated everybody, I was being interrogated for the whole thing! But of course, I was the first to know yet I said nothing in order to not worsen things! I nearly committed suicide, I hurt myself, I became more attention-seeking person than ever, I had no one to speak to about it. It just suck to be in between everybody and tried to laugh it off as the dawn breaks. "God, why do you make me suffer everyday? You said You have better plans for me, why am I going through this? You are nothing. I am nothing." Yet, day by day, I complained to Him alone... I just went back to my house (not home), I started to talk to Him! I didn't care if He was hurt or happy, I just tell Him what I was going through! More like "whatever la. You listen. Listen good" kinda mode. hahahahha.. You know what made me grew closer to my Lord? His words. As much as I keep on complaining about my stupid dead life, I still remember almost every night, I would recite a whole paragraph and debate with myself or just savouring everything that He said on my bed. His words of comfort, joy and grace keep on filling in my life. He was faithful to all the prophets in the Bible. He was still faithful from the way He approached me through my friends and church members. I knew right then, I had Him in my heart... I knew right then, I have something to live for and I'm alive! I invited Him into my heart and received Him as my personal Lord and Saviour. Towards the end of 2006, I grew closer to God though my family was still breaking up at that time. :) God provided me the Lim family for replacing my need of family love, God provided me awesome experiences in school and I was living for Him! 2007 wasn't any better, things got worser! Hahahaha. But I had this thought that keep me sane "God is faithful. If He is faithful like He claims Himself to be, He'll make me go through this safely. I just need more patience to see this through..." and it did come to pass. My family got back together slowly in His grace and love in 2008.. :) I couldn't believe that it would be that soon! Usually people wanting to get divorce, it will happen wan, but Haha! after 2 years, things started to patch up! :D So yea. Everyday until today, I look forward to look on my ceiling after I wake up, to say "Good morning God!" coz He told me "My mercies are new every morning." God has been carrying me through well, safe and abundantly. I don't hope for anything else but to have an abundant life through Him who made me His child. He made me who I am today. "Joy, you are not a mistake so go and live up to the calling I have placed in you." and yes, I shall live up, live with joy, grace and full of His love for me! I know I'm different because He lives in me. When others say I'm different when they look at me, I know, that is His works in my life that make me one! HAHAHAH.. I'm not going to boast that this whole thing is me, coz it's not! Now, I can proudly say I know my calling, my direction in life, I know I'm living everyday, I know His voice and I don't feel dead anymore! How great is the God I'm serving! He IS still faithful! oh, you can read about his faithfulness in my life under the tag "faith" or "God" and yes, that is just the tiny side of His every BIG BIG BIG love me. :)

That's about my story with my DADDY GOD. He's a great dad and I couldn't imagine myself to not live without the FATHER that makes me alive...

Isaiah 9:6-7:

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

^{⁷ Of the greatness of his government and peace}

there will be no end.

Amen to all the great things and great understanding that are to come.

rev 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

Have you open up your heart to Him yet? You can have the same lively-ness I have, if you are willing to open up to Him. :) He never fails. He conquered death, He loves you and I, and what more can you possibly ask for? :) He's an awesome daddy! HUGS dad! :)

xoxo,

Joy - The happiness He placed in me.

Gracia (Spanish: Grace/thanksgiving) - Full of thanksgiving and grace that I'm having.

Liso (Spanish: Smooth/straight) -The straight truth that I'm holding on.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 19

2011-02-22T19:09:00.002+08:00

Kakak cafe :Di Sarawak banyak Muslim tak?

Me: Tak lah. Kristen lebih banyak.

KC: mana ada. Muslim. Kamu Kristen ya?

Me: Ya.. :)

KC: Bila mau masuk Islam? Kan baik kahwin Islam aja.

Me: Hahaha.. Tak apa lah ya. Pacar Kristen lagi bagus. *ehem* haahhaahahaahahaha...

Not being such a religionista, but I find that so many people question me that! "Joy, when are you becoming one of us?" or "When are you going into Islam?" or "Marry one of us la." Honestly, I thank you for your deep concern for my soul but I shall say I serve a God that lives/ ALIVE,

"Christ died for our sins...He was buried...He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures...He appeared to Peter, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to to more than 500..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-6)

He makes me feel alive every morning, He just makes me alive!

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. (Lamentation 3:22-23)

How awesome is my God that dies for my sins, YOUR sins, and WE can have ever loving salvation! He IS the way like He claims Himself to be,

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

so why are some people still feel in a sense that they still need to find or ask for a way to reach God? For years and years wanting to find a way, when THE WAY aka Jesus Christ is already existed 2 thousand years ago! So yea. This is my faith and I love my Lord Jesus Christ... Just for all to know, I know my God through His words, I understand His grace for all of us, I accept the fact that I'm weak in so many things, yet I still am learning His ways for my life, I still know His grace is sufficient enough for me, I still know what is His plans for me.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I'm going to live up my faith just as He wants me to be

Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be you reconciled to God. ( 2 Cor 5:20)

and I shall pass whatever offers that won't surpass the standard of my Lord Jesus Christ.

"Christ died for our sins...He was buried...He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures...He appeared to Peter, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to to more than 500..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-6)

So yea...

XOXO.

Be blessed

Spelling Out Life... with Day 20

2011-02-21T02:01:00.002+08:00

I need a mentor to train me badly this year. Lord, please grant me one. I'd learn fast with Your ways, please teach me Lord... :)

Spelling Out Life... with Baby Dumping Issues

2011-02-20T21:03:00.003+08:00

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

Ecclesiastes 1:18

you know kan... (no you dono) The more I get myself involved in this assignment which my junior choose earlier on, the more attached I get to this issue! Crying over the misdeeds of the parents of the babies, un-solvable issues, daily increasing issues and the distorted foundation of a family, is something I never came across before, and yet I did.

God broke my heart when I got myself emotionally attached to something that breaks His. He showed an evil side of human nature and it is written clearly in black and white, in photos and in the heart of mine... :(

Please please pray along with me that His Holy Spirit will work in everybody to curb this issues... :)

In Jesus name, there will be lesser cases in the days to come, amen.

yup, the more you know, the more grief you have...

Spelling Out Life... with Election!

2011-02-20T20:58:00.002+08:00

Let us vote only to those deserving ones! NOT because they are from Aspirasi OR Gabungan Mahasiswa(GM)! :)

I believe in the concept of, as long as you have a heart for the students which can be seen through the manifesto, you are worth voted for.

Ladies and gents, be wise and be just k! Hugs!

Spelling Out Life... with Day 21 - 1

2011-02-20T20:51:00.003+08:00

No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.

Ecclesiastes 1:11

a leader is to have a heart that puts God's name before his own. :) Remember remember...

Spelling Out Life... with Day 21

2011-02-20T20:41:00.003+08:00

I played galah panjang today! :D

*credits to Biro IPK of KTHO*

Guess I played with who?? :D With form 3 girls from SMK Jalan Reko! :D I needed 4 girls to join me to play this game, hence, I just walked around, looking at this group of girls, I asked them! :D Turns out, not only they taught me how to play the game, they became my friends! :) I was blessed by the Lord above for granting me the companies I needed for the day... For some reason, I knew God wanted my own college juniors to ignore my msgs so that I am able to bless these girls with whatever that I have. :) I invited them to join me for Kolam Design competition too! I laughed the whole time coz I sucked in designing the whole thing! :DDDD Dei, I need time to design okaaayyyy.. So yea. We lost but then again, I liked our bonding time! :)

Before I end this, let me be glad that God blesses me with a steamboat voucher worth RM21! :D

Desire for today:

I want green tea cheese cake.

I pray that the election tomorrow goes well... :)

Thank You Lord for the tiring, annoying yet blessed day!

Spelling Out Life... with Day 22 - 1

2011-02-19T18:10:00.002+08:00

I'm covering a baby dumping issue for an assignment right now.

I'm torn emotionally. I'm attached to this issue more than I ever imagine, when I initially started it. God, why do people have the guts to throw away the life that they themselves make? Why can't they choose to live with the joy and the life that can turn their life around? It hurts me, God. It hurts me, oh Lord. Finding the perfect solutions for all these cases. I can't, Lord. I have limitations. I have limitations. I try to cover certain aspects yet there are 50/50 chances of people will take things for granted or just repent from doing it. I'm out of ideas Lord. I really am. God, the answer for all these solutions is knowing You as their Personal Lord and Saviour. Yet, i'm being stupid now that I have to make knowing You as a practical action to help the country.

Why did I agree to my classmates when they propose this idea to me?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Desire for the day:

I wanna change topic. I'm broken to get into deep into this issue. This is wrong....

Spelling Out Life... with Day 22

2011-02-19T00:44:00.003+08:00

War is real.

I've seen it my own eyes.

When will they see Love?

Lord, please have Your way in them.

No more hatred, no more selfishness... Please Lord, have Your way shown in them through Your Son Lord Jesus Christ..

Desire for the day:

I pray that parents will stop, yes, STOP polluting children's mind with fear and hatred towards others. I pray that parents will show wisdom and love, that way, I believe that this world could be a place to live in... I pray that Lord God will protect all the children in the world from fear and hatred.. I pray the living water from Him will flow in their heart instead. In Jesus name, amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 23

2011-02-18T11:14:00.002+08:00

I hosted the Palestinians during the opening ceremony of FESSAT 2011 today.

They are nice warm people actually. :) I had fun getting to know this lady, Amal. :) She has 2 kids and her husband is taking her PhD here in UKM.

As the hours passes by... I could only ask from God one thing for today.. I pray that parents nowadays will instill love and peace in the heart of their children. :)

Desire for the day:

I pray that every families in the world will dwell in their home with joy, peace and love. I pray that the parents will have tons of wisdom to bring up their children in the correct way... I pray that peace and joy dwells in the families that fear of people or war-torn countries. I pray that Your protection cover these people, Oh Lord. I pray for blessings and abundant grace be surrounding these people... I pray that these families will move pass ignorance, prejudice, racism and starting growing into bringing one another up to bless others.

Sigh.

Lord, I feel the pain of Your heart.

Give me the strength and support to bless others in a way that is pleasing to You.

Blessings!

Joy :D

Spelling Out Life... with Day 24

2011-02-17T11:01:00.003+08:00

The Lord wants me to pray the nation that grows. His heart is for these people... and truthfully, I wish I don't have to feel the hurt He felt anymore...Yet, somehow, the more I get to know Him through my daily activities, the more pain I felt as I pray for this nation.

God,

I claim that Your truth, Your light, Your way be shining in their eyes, ears and hearts. I pray that they have this hunger even more to ever seek the truth, which is only through You, oh Lord Jesus Christ. I know oh Lord, as much peace, good or kindness that the world offers them, everything will cease and be useless but Your blood that shed for our sins and cleanses us and gives us life. What good is to have everything nice to feel now when even right now salvation from the Lord Jesus Christ is not in our lives?

Desire for the day:

Speak oh Lord, to this nation. Open up our heart, ears and eyes... break our pride. Let us move from prejudism, racism to a nation that fear nothing but You.

Ps: I taught today! wuhoo! I no longer have to anticipate the crazy teaching lessons or heart literature presentation! :D

Shine oh People of our Daddy God!

Wuhoo! :D

Spelling Out Life... with Day 25

2011-02-16T22:45:00.004+08:00

The beginning of my college's festival the 10th, is today! :D

Honestly, being a council that oversees the technical department is not my strength. LOL. Number 1, the head did his job by calling the sound system person and checked with the canopies and lightings. So yea, I just say, "good job". Hhahahahahahaha... Lame, I know but what can I do when he has tons of members around him? Encouragement. XD

Preparing for the lesson for tomorrow. I have a chance of being the first 3 chosen students to teach in class tomorrow, out of 20. Haha. I'm still out of idea. Praying that the Lord will carry me through tomorrow!

Had a prayer with a friend of mine through Skype as well... Prayed for Malaysia as a whole. I've been having the stir in my heart and so does my friend. :)

Desire for today:

I pray that the government will have the citizen's best interest at heart... I pray the country councils will stop being childish in fighting for little things like you-condemn-me-i-do-the-same-to-you-too and instead, they would work on the big issues such as teenage pregnancy issues, baby dumping issues, inflation rate is getting higher, work scope for graduates is lower etc.. I pray that Jesus will bring up righteous leaders to lead this nation, where ever they are, I pray that the Lord will mold them, shape them righteously and give them a heart that wants to serve Him through the government ministries.

Have a blessed week! :)

Love always.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 26

2011-02-15T10:03:00.002+08:00

I had a dream, while I nap.

I was in a class, with 3 other friends and surprisingly that class' setting was different than how I usually see. There were 2 monitor screens and there's a remote attached to them in the class. Yet the lecturer was lecturing us through those screens. Rather unusual no?

Somehow there was a long break in between, my Spanish friend from next door came over and asked us to help her cook Magie. The rest of my friends didn't want to help for they wanted to play with some games. LOL. Therefore I went over to my lecturer's place, the same person just now, and start to cook Magie as the cooker is just next to him, I put in more hotdogs in her soup, so that I can have some hotdogs for myself.

The class grew quiet, and the lecturer stood next to me while I was standing quietly, thinking bout my future, in front of the pot, saying to me, with love and this fatherly tone, "Joy, you have a special gift for education. You have a heart of learning. When others come and do other things in the class, you are eager to learn as much you always join them. I can see you get agitated through the glass window when they play those games. You wanted to do something else. You should come back and learn more, not as to add in better result, but there's so much more than that. You will need them in the future. Education and you will not be separated. You will always have a soft spot for it. You are very different, Joy. Always remember that."

All I could answer was "HAHAHAHAH.. thank you sir! So can I get an A for this class? Oh ya sir, how many kids do you have anyway? (after looking at his ring on the left 4th finger)"

LOL!!!

I went out in the patio, (I tell you, this school or institute rocks!!!), I saw our lady headmaster and sat beside her on the bench. She looked at my lecturer as he went off in a car, then she looked at me with this warning face! Weird, right? "Joy, don't ever listen to that man. Whatever he said to you, if he ever told you anything, is all lies. Look at him. He will never be a good teacher. Old car some more. We have a reputation..." and I woke up.

I'm amazed how God placed 2 different characters into my dreams. I have no idea on what is happening but I know well God is speaking. I know those words are His, from the lecturer. I know it.

Desire for the day:

Dear Lord, I pray that the education ministry in Malaysia has a deep anguish for the children of the Land. I pray against one-sided attitude, prejudice and racism in the ministry. I pray that this ministry will grow more of Your chosen people as day passes by.

Have a great day people! :)

Love be with you.

Joy too.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 27

2011-02-14T21:25:00.004+08:00

Valentine's Day.

Today, I find it a little awkward to have my friends being a little less chatty when it comes to Valentine's Day.. Lol. They are against it so I shall not trigger anymore awkwardness in our lives. So I shall say, have a blessed day instead!

Today, I helped around PERKEB to pass out gifts to UKM students. :D Pretty tough initially when people thought that you are under ASPIRASI/random clubs/outsiders giving harm to them. LOL. But I had fun! :D

I had headache now though... 1, stupid monkeys are around. 2. Lightnings and thunder. T.T

So yea.

Desire for the day:

I pray that everyone had a great day today. I hoped we'll look back and reflect on how great is God towards you today! :) Hey, your presence in your class, workplace, home etc, is a great blessing to the people around you! :) Be glad and rejoice! :)

Jesus blesses you!

I hope you love.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 28

2011-02-14T21:19:00.002+08:00

Sunday. 13 Feb.

Pr Daniel shared his love story in church. I was actually seeking for answers from God through the service and I knew He answered it in an adorable way, the way I knew it is God's work in my life. :)

Pr Dan spoke bout God impressed a desire/thought in his heart bout Aunty Sally and vice versa. It was God's intention for them to grow together through different tough, happy, sad, crazy times. It was really the God that I'm serving now was the one behind their love story.

I know now what is the next step. Pray and fast. :)

God works in His plans, not mine.

As time passes by, I pray that His love continues to draw each one of us together for His glory. :)

be blessed!

Joy.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 29

2011-02-13T01:08:00.002+08:00

Valentine's Day issue is on the rise.

Overall, if any of you, my friends that trust who I am as your friend, believe me when I say Valentine's Day is not a Christian celebration. :) It's a total world tradition like Halloween. People make it such a hoo-haa that they think it's cool to celebrate love as a whole. If you want to know where did it come from, Google! :) It's rather unfair to say that it's a Christian event k? Trust me in this.

Desire for my birthday:

A heart for all people, from friends and family to have a heart to seek God as who they are... God loves you.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 30

2011-02-13T01:01:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the late reply.

Friday... Friday... I had a nice lunch! Marie, Nernny and Gita were my Perkeb Cell's (Perkeb CARES) members. :) Getting to know more awesome Christians brought delight in this thirsty for fellowship heart of mine! God knows how long since I've not been to church... 3 long tiresome weeks! Week 1 was to celebrate Dee's birthday, week 2 worshipping in FGA Penang & SIB Penang and week 3 in a freaking long bus-trip back to UKM. LOL.

I miss church.

My desire for the day:

I pray that every Christians in the world have a thirsty heart to draw themselves back to our Abba Father. :) No joy can replace the moment where you just sit and talk to our Daddy God above.. :)

Spelling Out Life... with Picky Christians

2011-02-11T15:35:00.002+08:00

Hello there, not to shoot anyone. Mere reminder for me, you and everyone else.

"Christians are the lowest beings on earth, therefore we need God to use us for His great Kingdom."

Understand now?

Since when do we pick and choose who goes in the church, CF or even just plain CG?

Since when we are TOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome that we choose people to hang out with.

Since when culture is the barrier for His love to dwell within?

Since when race is an issue for Him?

Since when other religion's rules are the dead end for us to propagate our faith?

Since when we are so racist?

.... since before. sigh.

What God are we serving if we start picking on who should we share the Gospel to? Didn't Jesus just die for ALL, not just us?

Sigh.

Change our hearts, Lord. Break our pride, Lord. Break our heart, Lord. These things are the reasons why we are not showing Your love for the rest to see. I'm sorry Lord, on behalf of my brothers and sisters, for being selfish, stupid, rude, racist and shallow when it comes to serving Your church and Your community. Change our hearts Lord.

All this, I pray in Jesus most Precious name,

amen.

Spelling Out Life... with Day 31

2011-02-11T02:59:00.004+08:00

today, i thank God for the first time experience of me being an Incident Officer for my College. Hhahahahaha. Nonetheless, everybody hates fire drill. :D K la, gonna sleep now. will count my blessing from Day 31 until the day I turn 21.

Desire 1 : to eat a huge slice of my favourite Green Tea Cheese cake from Secret Recipe. :)

thank You Lord for today, in Jesus' name, amen. :)

Counting my blessings everyday. :)

Spelling Out Life... with racism

2011-02-09T01:40:00.002+08:00

we ought to fight racism by just confronting personally on the ones making judgmental remarks on other races. You tell them what you feel about their comments, wisely that is. Don't fire the whole religion and race just cause one useless apple is rotting from within. that's all. that's how you love your neighbour. :)

nite

Spelling Out Life... with Terengganu Trip

2011-02-09T01:07:00.009+08:00

On the 4th til 6th of February, my college councils together with the college admins and PALAPES KTHO, went to Terengganu for (a supposedly UMT-KTHO collaboration programme) Mr Karim's wedding.

Wan, being my ever faithful sidekick joined the adventure with me. We had our reasons. LOL!!! Can't publicly announce it here. HAHA.

Here are some of the crazy shots we had in Taman Tamadun Islam. Pretty cool place! If you like history and architecture, you should come and have a look! The little monuments do look like a

5yo playhouse! If you were to dump Joy and Wan in this park for photoshoot again, we'd be glad to do it again! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...

Then again, UMT programme was cancelled. Not that sad though because we went for TWO weddings instead! HAHA! My first Malay wedding ever! Mr Karim had pretty humble wedding I'd say. Village setting, where everybody unite to work on his wedding! I love it! :) Simple but nice. Oh yes, the 2nd wedding was rich and all that, didn't fancy my appetite though. I just went there to eat ice-cream. Oh yes, they have ice cream booth in the wedding itself! LOL. Moving on, Wan and I had the best seafood dinner at the beach side restaurants, ALL PAID BY MY COLLEGE HEAD FELO!!!! HHAHAHAHA... 1 plate of calamari was RM5! Same goes to fried prawns and fish! FRESHLY CAUGHT AND COOKED! WOOHOOHOOHOOO! hahahahaha..

Did I mention God has been so faithful to me throughout the whole trip? :) He did. He provided me good company like Wan, He gave me times to get to know my felos through dinner, He provided me free meals, He gave me good rest, He gave me new insights on certain things too.

Here is a glimpse of photoshoot we had in TTI! :D

*I shall not post some photos that will result in me being barred from the park ever again though* hahahahahahahahahahaha

hahhaahaha. That's all for now. I loved the trip! I love my first Malay wedding! oh yes, I hated the 15hours bus trip from UMT to UKM, that's the first!

Spelling Out Life... with Penang

2011-01-31T11:40:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA.

Now I'm Penang! Wuhoo!

So far, I've eaten 2 kinds of food:

1. Penang food:

Char Kueh Tiao, Kak Kao something, Fried Oyster, Laksa Penang, Popiah, Cendol, Hainanese Chicken, PRAWN NOODLES!

2. Hometown food:

Telinga babi kicap, Sup babi with buah terung masam (AWESOME), babi kicap, cili kicap, senamu (but I think my mum's version is way better!) kangkung belacan...

Damn nice!!!!!!

So yea.

Spelling Out Life... with kind words

2011-01-31T11:31:00.002+08:00

"People back home prophecied I'll not only come to Malaysia to finish my studies but for something else. Almost 4 months I've been here and I ask God what it is. After spending the whole day with you and your family, I know now that I come to Malaysia for you. I believe that very strongly of God's call for me to meet you. I don't know why but I know I come for you. You are very different compared to the other women I've ministered before. You are special in so many ways, Joy."

- Sharon Ann J.

Spelling Out Life... with Cat

2011-01-25T20:52:00.003+08:00

Do I REALLY LOOK LIKE A CAT?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAH

Hahahhaahahahahahaahha..

Funny.

Seriously, do I?

Spelling Out Life... with Thanksgiving #1

2011-01-25T20:29:00.002+08:00

Hehehehe...

So far, I'm thanking God for the love and attention from my dearest friends and family. :)

I thank God for awesome experience with my PERKEB friends last 20th January 2011! From falling from the kayak in the icky green lake, *HAHAHAHA*, to using 2 SEATER BICYCLE!!!! *First time playing that!!!* to singing in a cafe *FIRST TIME DOING THAT TOO!* to watching Faster the movie... Really great day!

22nd Jan, having dinner with Dee and some of our friends in La Bodega is really nice! Aside from going to Frangipani in Changkat Bukit Bintang, we went to Neway Times Square too! Pretty much a whole load of money used there! UGH! Nevermind still.... we're there to bless Dee with our presence. I'm glad she had fun! :)

today, flying frisbee with a whole load of people today! :D the most memorable thing I had today was "Hey.. Thanks for motivating me. You're a good motivator." :DDDD I was just helping him with his throw and I never knew he'd say those kind words! :) He played really well after a few times! Fast learner! :)

--------

Aside from that, I was stressing out over little things. 1, lighting! 2. I'm planning to reshuffle the whole placing of the stage, PA and VIP seat stuff.. Dear Lord, PLEASE help! PLEASE LET THIS EVENT BRING GLORY TO YOUR NAME! I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU! :( HELP. HELP. HELP.

sigh.

Michelle Hee says I look like a cat.

Spelling Out Life... with God's Heart

2011-01-19T21:09:00.002+08:00

Lord, Lord,

now I know what breaks You. I'm REALLY sorry.

now I feel what breaks You.

NOW I KNOW.

You've shown me personally that, pretty much CLEARLY.

NOW I KNOW.

and God, it hurts so much. It hurts me so much!

EXCRUCIATINGLY painful.

Lord, Lord,

I give up on my stupid slow self. Teach me more about You.

Teach me how to reach out and stop being such a coward.

Use me tremendously in the Council, in my class, in my daily activities.

I give up being nobody in my college.

I give up being quiet in You.

Teach me.

You've broken my heart into seeing things that are possibly wrong and

You've shown me how those break You, instead.

Lord, Lord

please use me.

please. I know I'm foolish in so many ways

but teach me. Teach me to love. Teach me to worship You like never before.

YAHWEH,

I really am broken.

Thank You Lord for making me feel what hurts You.

Thank You.

Spelling Out Life... with Disappointments

2011-01-16T22:41:00.006+08:00

Shoving people expectations and then wrecking it in the end was what I did.

Showing signs of moving on and actually doing it is what I'm doing.

Seeking God in the midst of it all and practicing what I do is what I'm doing now.

I'm just a little disappointed in some people, that's all.

It has been my fault from the start, I admit it.

But I never knew you of all people never approach me after my mistakes!

Yes, I made stupid decisions, I never knew I'm now the stranger in your eyes.

Yes, a stranger.

It has been 16 days of New Year and you never once said "Hie Joy, how are you?" or even "Happy New Year" OR POKE ME on FB for goodness sake! Thank YOU for the moral support by not supporting me ever since.

Appreciation Note

Thank God for UKM seniors and some close MIRI-UKM-JOHOR-ICC friends who are kind enough to deal with my random character and they still have a wee hope in me that I'll change certain ways of how I carry myself, you know. They know certain steps I take are considered stupid now but they just advice me now and then just to kick the sense out of me, but hey, that's more than what I've prayed for! I learn every now and then, I see things from different perspective now and then; But the best part of all, I know I'm growing and I approach things differently now because of their supports and love. I thank God for every cautious minds on me! At least I know I still have a space in their heads. At least I know they won't forsake and leave me alone when I might or might not do stupid things again. At least I know they still care despite of it all. At least I'm no stranger.

Thank you. I'll wait and count until the day you say hie. :)

Even if you do say hie after reading this post, I'll treat you the same as before. Don't worry. You're not a stranger to me coz the whole time, you are family.

Spelling Out Life... with Resolution

2011-01-15T00:12:00.002+08:00

Hah. Realization hits when it's time to list down my desires for this year. Let's see if it does align with Daddy above. :)

in the year 2011, I'd like to:

1. do wall climbing on my 21st, with friends and families.

2. Go Singapore before 2012.

3. Win an award or something. I don't know what would that be.

4. Finish up the whole Bible.

5. Serve in other ministries in church.

6. Have really stable finance.

7. Have more open doors for my calling.

8. Experience at least 10 new things in this year.

9. Appreciate my faraway friends more. :)

10. NOT have a boyfriend.

that's about it, I think. :)

Have faith.

toodles lovely,

xoxo

Spelling Out Life... with Beautifully made Self

2011-01-12T23:43:00.002+08:00

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

[Eccle 3:11]

This is a promise He gave me when I was doubting Him.

I just knew THAT was His voice.

What an awesome Lord I love

Spelling Out Life... with Love!

2011-01-12T22:57:00.003+08:00

Tolong ingatkan aku

Kisah ku tersedar

Dengan kasih memeluk rasa

Ku teringatkanmu

Setiap detik jantungku berdetak

Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita

Tolong ingatkan aku

Kisah ku tersedar

Dengan kasih memeluk rasa

Tolong ingatkan aku

Kisah kita

Often of times, we forget things and take things for granted... So I just want to share how we do need to remind one another about each other! A close friend of mine, Syiqah, dedicated this song "Tolong Ingatkan Aku" on my facebook just now cause we were talking about boys and all, you know, chick stuff. HAHAHA. I gave her some advices, not that I've been any good of example when it comes to relationship, and I don't know la, she just gave me this song. To remind her, when the time comes, the time comes and we don't have to rush into anything. :)

To any lovers out there, remind one another about your love towards one another. Make your spouse fall in love with you everyday like you have never met her before! Make yourself interesting enough for your spouse to look forward too. Don't think that "hey, he/she will stick around. so I'm good. it's okay if he/she meets someone more interesting coz they are not going anywhere!". WRONG! Sorry to say, the moment you think that way, that's the moment you make yourself look so cheap that can be easily be swaped by new items, baby. But of course, it's not more about you being so insecure but it's more about your part keeping the love alive. I've been through that phase before and it wasn't a pretty view soon after. Heh. So yea, keep reminding your beloved that you love them, by 1, you living your life like it is dying, 2, you act upon your words, 3, you try something new every once in awhile and share that experience and 4, find mutual attraction on certain activities and run it together. :)

But then again, who am I to say?

To those who are still looking for love or shall I say "Single", like me. All the single people just need to remind one another that life still goes on no matter what. HAH! When the time comes, the time comes. At the mean time, we just need to mold our characters to be our best self and who knows, that may make us somebody's The One one day. We have nothing to lose by molding ourself, no?

A year break is what I'm taking now.

I still need to make re-adjustment on certain issues in my life.

:) Ah, I feel so crappily ready for God's work this year,

do pray along that I'll make it through well again in a new year.

Toodles Readers!

"Live what you Love"